- Date posted
- 1y ago
Im scared
This ocd break down really messed up this time I’m just full of guilt and shame I want to keep going but I never will have 100 percent of the scenarios I imagined never happened
This ocd break down really messed up this time I’m just full of guilt and shame I want to keep going but I never will have 100 percent of the scenarios I imagined never happened
Reading your post I see the word imagined and 100 percent. Those two words can help you. Knowing that your OCD imagination is at play and that it wants you to be 100 percent sure is the game it plays. This is where reality check can help you understand that this is exactly how OCD works.
Read this book "Needing to know for sure" - it may help you.
First, you shouldn't feel guilty about having intrusive OCD thoughts. Over 200 years ago, the English writer Samuel Johnson said/wrote: "We all have thoughts that would shame hell." That means people with OCD and people who don't have OCD. What you're experiencing is an OCD flare up, nothing more. Second, I learned in therapy that it's not the thought's content that's important, it's how you react to it. If you accept it as just a thought, shug, let it go and move on, the thoughts will eventually dissipate. Conversely, if you seek absolute certainty that the thought will never happen you'll on the OCD treadmill all day. Hope this helps.
Like I'm not even scared I feel numb and ever since that night I've completely went down hill Idk what to do the feeling i felt this time genuily felt like i liked it and i didnt even have anxiety at that moment and now I'm panicking I really hope this is still OCD like I'm sorry if I'm still asking for reassurance but im really worried like it felt good in that moment I don't understand what's going on like I hope it was a false feeling and not something real.....like this has happened before but Idk 😭😭😭😭 I really don't know what to I don't want to turn into a p word I don't this I've been sleeping all day I still do compulsions a little to get rid of the thoughts but I've been getting sexual thoughts too and I don't want them but I feel like I do I don't understand I though I was getting better but I guess every time I get better everything gets worse..
I feel like I’ll never lead a normal life again with OCD, my thoughts have begun to be convince especially about POCD. I feel like so sad and down that this will be my life forever. I’ll never get to fall in love again without intrusive thoughts. I’ll never be worth falling in love with. I can never be intimate again. I’m just done, my life is over. I can’t even look at my nephew and niece anymore without the smile fading. It feels like I’m so nasty and then my brain convinces me this is how I feel. That there’s some part of me that is a p*do and that’s it. I’m a disgusting human being for that. I just feel hopeless
I want to go do something I enjoy so badly but I feel like I don’t deserve it. I’m full of guilt, shame, and anxiety. I wish I felt okay like I did a few days ago. I feel so awful right now. I hate OCD. I HATE pocd. I hate all of it. I wish this was easier. Sometimes I have the thought that I wish I was the things my OCD makes me afraid I am out of desperation to stop the anxiety, but then that thought makes me panic bc I don’t actually mean that or want that I just want the anxiety and urgency in the compulsions to stop. I’m so tired
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