- Date posted
- 1y
Im scared
This ocd break down really messed up this time I’m just full of guilt and shame I want to keep going but I never will have 100 percent of the scenarios I imagined never happened
This ocd break down really messed up this time I’m just full of guilt and shame I want to keep going but I never will have 100 percent of the scenarios I imagined never happened
Reading your post I see the word imagined and 100 percent. Those two words can help you. Knowing that your OCD imagination is at play and that it wants you to be 100 percent sure is the game it plays. This is where reality check can help you understand that this is exactly how OCD works.
Read this book "Needing to know for sure" - it may help you.
First, you shouldn't feel guilty about having intrusive OCD thoughts. Over 200 years ago, the English writer Samuel Johnson said/wrote: "We all have thoughts that would shame hell." That means people with OCD and people who don't have OCD. What you're experiencing is an OCD flare up, nothing more. Second, I learned in therapy that it's not the thought's content that's important, it's how you react to it. If you accept it as just a thought, shug, let it go and move on, the thoughts will eventually dissipate. Conversely, if you seek absolute certainty that the thought will never happen you'll on the OCD treadmill all day. Hope this helps.
I am hurting so much right now. I feel sad and disgusted with myself that I would even worry about these things (pocd). What kind of a human even thinks that and has doubts about that?? Definitely not one that’s rational or mentally sane. That kind of stuff should be a no brainer so why do I worry about it so much and what does it say about me? I feel sick and disgusted and can’t stop crying over it. I just feel so defeated like I want to disappear. I started ERP and every time I resist reassuring myself it comes back at me from every angle. I hate this so much.
Hey guys, for the past three months I’ve been obsessing over a mistake I made about 6 months ago, I constantly have panic attacks and wake up in fight or flight mode I have convinced myself that someone is gonna find me somehow and punish me. I have endlessly looked up reassurance that what I did wouldn’t get me in trouble or something, I have filled up 5 different ChatGPT chats and it tells me it’s 100% certain nothing will happen. But then I convince myself well everyone says not to trust it and then I just spiral again. The point is I’m just scared, I’ve convinced myself this isn’t OCD because it’s something I actually did wrong. I can’t stop looking for reassurance because that’s the only thing that makes me feel safe anymore. Everyone tells me, just say maybe, maybe not, but my brain has convinced me the stakes are too high. I’m too scared and I don’t know what to do.
I know I keep talking about This but I’m too tired :( I’m really struggling and I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I might be the only person who experiences this in the way I do. It’s gotten so bad that during intimacy or self-pleasure, I feel like I’m acting on a thought — like my body is moving because of it. It’s terrifying and deeply hurtful. The moment it happens, I immediately panic, try to rewind everything in my head, and ruminate to figure out what I was thinking at that exact second… but I can never remember. That makes it even worse. feel so lost and hopeless, like I’ll never be able to heal or move on from this. People tell me “it’s just OCD,” but it doesn’t feel like OCD to me. It feels like I’m the exception — like no one else truly experiences it like this, especially the part where it feels like I physically responded to a thought. I know people say “others go through this too,” but my mind keeps saying, “not like this, not this specific thing.”Sometimes I just wish I could go back and relive those moments so I could be sure what happened, but I know that’s not possible. I feel so stuck in guilt and doubt that I don’t even know who I am anymore. I’m scared I’m a bad person and that I’ll always feel this way. I’ll never be free or be the same again everyday I live with deep depression
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