Relationships

Anyone else get upsetting thoughts about relationships despite not being in one or even never being in one seriously? I don't know where I stand with it other than the fact that I'm not ready for it. I don't know when I'll ever be ready for one. I don't know when the time will come but I do know these thoughts about relationships don't help me at all and throw off my mood completely. I'm not even really fully sure why it bothers me other than the standard that society sets on it or the missing out aspect. Guess it still bothers me just like it did when I was a teenager

Username: UH52UH52

Date posted: 45w ago

You have no idea how much I can relate to this. Like seriously the feeling of “missing out” will just consume us! Like seeing all others in one and still we not being ready will definitely make our doubts grow, especially when society claims that to be the lifeline! I believe it’s by slowly distinguishing what’s our reality and what society claims to be the “ideal” reality is what matters, and not feeling less than or sad for doing what we want or what is possible for us at the moment!!

Username: djfloriodjflorio

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 45w ago

I can empathize with that. The societal standards and the fear of missing out are definitely huge factors here. Especially because of social media, where people post pictures of themselves and their happy relationships and families. Thankfully, I think that there is less societal pressure to be in a relationship that there used to be. I also think that people are beginning to realize that there is no "right" timeline for everyone. The psychology world is recognizing that people have different attachment styles, have different needs, and move at different paces.

Username: BigGyro09BigGyro09

Date posted: 45w ago

Social media is definitely making it all worse. But loneliness from time to time is as well. I don't know if I have a need for this stuff or when I'll ever have it happen someday. I just don't have an answer for that unfortunately. Lately there's been a trigger that has caused these thoughts about this to build up. Before it wasn't so bad.

Username: djfloriodjflorio

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 45w ago

@BigGyro09 - Yeah it's tough. Loneliness is very powerful. I've been mostly single for most of my life, with a few short relationships here-and-there. This kind of stuff gets to me from time-to-time as well. I think it's okay not to have an answer for it. What has helped me is to focus on finding friendships with people that make me feel safe and seen. Loneliness is just your body's way of telling you to connect with other people. You don't necessarily need a romantic connection. As you focus on forming stronger bonds with other people, you learn more and more about what qualities are important to you in other people. And having that knowledge will help you if you ever meet a potential romantic partner.

Username: BigGyro09BigGyro09

Date posted: 45w ago

@djflorio I still don't have an answer for romantic things but I guess that's okay. I'll try to look at loneliness as a signal that is telling me that I should talk to someone. It usually comes up when my friends are unavailable. I'm very thankful for the people that I have to spend time with, even if it feels like I'm not great with conversation with some of them. I'm just sick of thinking about it when it doesn't serve anything, you know? Thank you

Username: Northern_DownpourNorthern_Dow...

Date posted: 45w ago

Im late as hell but I 100% feel this all the time. and having OCD makes it that much harder, which can be hard to come to terms with. HOWEVER.. its nowhere near a 0% chance. maybe one day you'll be in a better place mentally and more willing to give the dating world a try. but not everyone NEEDS a relationship either. dont worry about missing out, especially not for other's sakes. your business is yours!

Username: BigGyro09BigGyro09

Date posted: 45w ago

I'm not at all mentally prepared for a relationship, that I know for sure. I know I need to work on myself and get to where I've always told myself I want to be but I just hate thinking about it whenever it comes up. Really, most of it comes down to a missing out aspect such as having children or experiencing those kind of things only in a relationship. Seeing interpretations of such things online doesn't help either. It's hard not to worry about that aspect but I get what you're saying

Username: Zman5656

Date posted: 24w ago

35 and pausing life

I feel bit vulnerable to share this, but I feel it's important to voice a struggle i'm having (in case others are too). Per my current journey, i've decided (and have for quite some time) to not try and pursue relationships until I have figured out my "inner self" and have some more stability in my mental health. I think there's a common belief in society that getting into a relationship will solve all my problems cause i'll be happier with where I am instead of feeling lonely. I guess for me being aware of it is the first step- I have ambitions to have a partner/start a family- but I realize that takes a lot of emotional capacity and I feel I'm just not at a point where I can handle it. It sucks because it seems to go against what society is telling me to do, but I keep on reminding myself that is about my well being and mental health.

Username: gom

Date posted: 19w ago

Feeling unlovable because of my mental illness

I am a 22 year old female and have never gotten into a relationship due to the fact that I have OCD and how ugly it can get at times. I also feel like I would be a burden and be too much to handle especially in modern dating when people want to have fun and dont want to deal with anything that's exhausting not saying it's wrong but that's how it is. I have these two mindsets of 'I'll have someone who will accept me someday' Or 'I'll just be on my own cause that's what's good for me'.I don't think anyone will look at me and think they want to settle down with me or stuff. I feel like i will be too much to handle. Even if someone likes me, they will never actually love me enough to spend their life with me. Maybe if I were more pretty maybe people might put up with me idk really. This just saddens me to the core. I don't know how to deal with this. Is there any hope for me P.S my ocd is manageable most of the time but when it flares up it gets ugly and i go non-functional

Username: JimJimAlabim

Date posted: 16w ago

Intrusive thoughts over new relationship

Around a month ago I got out of an almost 2 year relationship. In that time I met someone that I ended up developing a crush on and today we decided to start dating. Since earlier today, I’ve had a lot of intrusive thoughts about a variety of things, the two biggest being if I actually like this person and the if it’s too soon for me to be back in a relationship. I know I like this person and we have amazing chemistry I just want some advice on the situation.

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