- Date posted
- 1y
Should I admit myself
I’ve had some seriously disturbing images going through my brain. Im debating on admitting myself. The thoughts are so traumatizing I can’t stop crying I don’t know what to do
I’ve had some seriously disturbing images going through my brain. Im debating on admitting myself. The thoughts are so traumatizing I can’t stop crying I don’t know what to do
I would recommend getting a diagnosis for ocd before anything. This was my exact predicament a year ago and then i got diagnosed with ocd and started therapy with a specialist and life is much more better and ocd has become incredibly more manageable. I know it’s hard and scary but prioritize you!
If you aren’t suicidal and I stress this if and only if you aren’t suicidal don’t do it. Get a diagnosis and therapy and meds if you feel that’s the route you need to go. Psych wards aren’t fun and most recently the ones I’ve been in are borderline abusive to patients. The mental health field is not that great. Take care and if you do have thoughts of hurting yourself and feel you are a danger then go. Take care ❤️
Thank you so much I had to get some anxiety meds to help with the thoughts. They’re really allowing to take a step back and work through them.
@Anonymous That’s great. I find the only thing that helps are benzos but drs are so hesitant to prescribe them and it’s pathetic. It’s a debilitating disease and just because they cause memory loss and can be addictive they don’t want to prescribe them and it’s not right.
I’m sharing this bc I need advice or even support from anyone who can relate. If you can’t relate and don’t think you’ll say anything helpful or kind pls don’t comment anything… I’ve been struggling with somethings that’s making me question myself. There has been moments while self pleasuring when I get intrusive thoughts, in those moments it feels like I’m enjoying or even self pleasuring myself bc of the thought. Right after I immediately have an anxiety attack and my HEART drops bc it feels terrible I feel like a disgusting monster :( ppl have told me I haven’t done a bad bc of how intense my guilt and panic are but I keep thinking that MAYBE I made a horrible decision in the moment and the guilt is just realising that it’s just wrong this doesn’t make sense to me because I’ve always told myself that I would never act on this in 1 million years and I’ve been known that these things are wrong so I’m just like constantly questioning myself these feelings and exact same situation has happened two times already I even promised myself that I wouldn’t act on anything beforehand and yeah, I still felt like I did act on my thought during my alone time I’m genuinely convinced that I’m a horrible and it’s even got into the point where I don’t wanna be here anymore and I don’t even think this is my OCD :( tbh
I struggle so bad with intrusive thoughts. They can be so bad that I'll cry because I KNOW that's not how I feel or want to do. (Too embarrassed to say what they're about) I'll constantly try to figure out why I have them, and constantly figure out what they mean, causing me to constantly circle around and around. I had to get on anxeity meds, which helped a little but the thoughts still happen. How do you help yourself with this? How do you know that you're just not some physcopath? 😅
Sometimes I think " do I like kids?" "Would i get aroused if I saw content with kids?""What if I'm a pedo and cant accept it?" "What if I'm ok with these thoughts?" "What if I'm not distressed enough " "What if I enjoy these thoughts?" , i avoid kids as much as i can, i cant look at them bc I'm scared I'm gonna have some groin like response. I keep testing if I'd get turned on or if I'd have some groinal response to sexual scenarios with kids. Sometimes I think that if I took my life this would be over and i wouldn't have to think about this and i wish i doubted something else instead of things like this. I had similar situations just with different topics such as if i loved or found sexually appealing a guy while in a relationship and i kept asking myself those questions for months and i avoided going to school for weeks and when I went I'd cry and have anxiety attacks. I had it with past actions i obessed over and felt the need to exploit every detail and be honest because otherwise i was being a fraud. I had it for sexual things that happened when i was a child. Im not diagnosed with ocd but should i tell this to my local counselor? Can someone help? Give me advice or tell me anything?
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