- Username
- Anonymous
- Date posted
- 41w ago
Suffering
All my days are pretty much consumed by real events I obsess with. I don’t know how to stop. I don’t want to lose my life, but I’m also tired of living like this.
All my days are pretty much consumed by real events I obsess with. I don’t know how to stop. I don’t want to lose my life, but I’m also tired of living like this.
my heart hurts for you. the best thing is to find ways to keep yourself present, breathing exercises really helped me. set a timer and box breathe, think in and out as you inhale and exhale. when thoughts pop up, label them "thinking" and try to focus on your breathing again. guided meditations have taught me a lot of simple ways to break rumination
@Grenoble hand on hobbies help too. gardening, arts and crafts, even just giving a little extra attention to pets. it's never easy, but the thoughts get a lot more manageable with time
@Grenoble I ruminate so much I can’t tell the difference between what’s an accurate memory and what’s not.
@Anonymous what helped me most is finding ways to focus on the present instead of trying to figure out real and false memories. memories are so unreliable, it's an impossible task. find ways to sit with the uncertainty and eventually it won't be so painful
This is a hard position to be in. I was in a similar boat and I can say that the only way forward is through. What I mean by this is you are going to have to put in hard, consistent work to get to the point where OCD strengthens you instead of weakens you. Stick with your therapy, keep looking for solutions, and TALK MORE. If you want a place where you can collaborate with others and continue these conversations you should consider joining my community. https://www.skool.com/the-ocd-advantage-7537/about
@Anonymous My memories are just so distorted I can’t tell what’s true.
@Anonymous - I understand that feeling. I really think the way to unscramble an internal mess is to make it external, from there you can handle it more tangibly. Aka, communicate every ounce of your thoughts and feelings. I am here for you.
Everyday I feel extremely down and I don’t know how to snap out of it. Intrusive thoughts are always playing in my head and won’t stop. I’ve been feeling down for the longest time to the point where it doesn’t feel right to be happy or do anything positive for myself. It’s as if I want to be miserable and don’t want anything good to happen to me. I don’t deserve it and I don’t think I can truly overcome this. I get eaten up everyday and lil by lil, a piece of myself slips away to the point where I don’t recognize myself anymore or care for myself. I don’t want to feel like this anymore😔I feel so detached from reality.
I miss my life before ocd. When I would never wake up in a cycle of overthinking and worry and the moment I open my eyes till the moment I sleep, it’s non stop intrusive and unwanted thoughts. It scares me, I don’t want to live my life like this forever. I cry so much, as I’m sure most of you would relate. My heart just feels heavy, that’s the best description I can give, I feel like I’m just existing not actually LIVING. (Not an existential theme) I feel like I just bring everyone down around me, my mental illness has an affect on those around me and though I can’t help I am mentally ill, it takes a toll on me when I KNOW I’m hurting others when they see me so sad all the time, including my daughter… I’ve been dealing with this for somewhere between 1-2 years, which doesn’t seem like a long time but when your life is this constant never ending doubt every single day sometimes all day long, it feels like forever… I just want to be HAPPY. Is that too much to ask for? To just feel genuine happiness and not have these obsessive ego dystonic thoughts 24/7, or at all… I try and keep my head above water and just keep swimming, I wish I could see an ocd therapist but im sorry even with NOCD, it’s TOO EXPENSIVE. I live in Australia so don’t have access to Medicare through NOCD therapy… what options do I have. I’m at a low point, trying to function every day and distract myself from my head by cleaning, looking after my daughter and dog, doing little activities to occupy my time. But there’s only so much distracting you can do I guess.
Early morning havnt slept and ocd hasn't stopped for days I just want to be able to breath it's so debilitating in every way and I just feel the ocd thoughts start to pop ideas in my head and the things it comes up with like the worries are not just thoughts they are fully formed situations and very specific when I haven't even thought about it before it's like it forms this whole thing in my head subconsciously and then before I know it I'm chillin and then I'm just 50 ft under water drowning because it just throws a whole spacific situation at me that I never even thought of this effects me in every way possible and I just lay here misrible all day having seizer after seizer from stress being suicidal and just suffocating and so much more I just dread every moment I'm awake because the moment I am counsious it starts ugh it's every moment of my day just suffering so yeah really not looking forward to waking up 10 years of this and I'm exhausted the only relief I get is switching to another theme like i just wamma get pregnant so i csn obsess over that instead of what i am rn ot effects everyone around me and im just so miserable
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