Moral crisis

About 4-5 months ago, I was walking to the grocery store and I noticed a tiny newborn pink runt mouse or maybe rat right on the curb. Eyes closed, must’ve just been born, but no mother in sight (which is why I assume it was the runt). There were a bunch of cars making the right turn for freshman move-in day at the college I live near. I had a dilemma — should I take this rat out of harm’s way and put it on the sidewalk? But then what if someone steps on it? Since it’s a runt and its mother is nowhere to be found, wouldn’t it just starve to death if I move it and it doesn’t get hit by a car? The only ethical choice was I have to pick it up and adopt it, but then I was like I don’t know how to even care for it and I may just cause more harm by doing that. Also being the stupid people pleaser I am, I didn’t want to “inconvenience” the oncoming traffic of stressed out parents moving in their kids. So I made a split-second decision and I just kept walking. I didn’t pick up the runt. I had a feeling it would get run over, and I almost turned around but I didn’t want people to look at me like what is this weird girl doing (if you can’t tell, I care way too much about what other ppl think of me). Anyways, I was walking back from the store, and of course, the runt had been run over and was completely dead. I feel like it was completely my fault for not picking it up and adopting it and I feel like I manifested the car to run it over too bc I had the thought that it would. I still think about this every few weeks or so, and I feel like a murderer. The guilt I feel about this event weighs so heavily on me. I have considered adopting a pet rat to “undo” my immoral behavior, but I know the regret and guilt would keep coming back even if I compulsively rescued a rat and it wouldn’t even be enough. What do I do?

Username: HipHopAnonymous🦛 HipHopAnonym...

Date posted: 39w ago

That’s really sad. It’s not your fault though. Don’t waste your time with the “I manifested this” stuff. Maybe you did maybe you didn’t. Either way it’s a waste of time trying to solve it and it won’t change what is. You can’t alter the past and the future is ONLY influenced by us at best. It is never something we fully control. The reality is these sorts of tragedies happen all the time in nature unfortunately. They are sad. Let yourself be sad about it when you think of it. That’s a perfectly normal thing to feel. It just means you’re a compassionate person. But to assume responsibility for it is a little bit arrogant. I hope you don’t take that as an insult. As someone who spent years trying to “control my destiny” through manifestation, meanwhile having no idea that I suffered from OCD and was incredibly insecure, most of that thinking is just a sinking ship. Use what influence you actually have the best you can. That’s what good people do. But don’t try to control life and fate and all that and don’t think you can. Life and death and all of this was going on well before you, me, or that little creature showed up and will continue on well after we’re all gone. Maybe you could have done more for it, maybe you couldn’t have. It’s a fine thing to consider. You want to improve and that’s great. But seeking control, and we OCDers are control freaks, we overdo it big time. I don’t mean to peddle ideas but by now, 5 months ago, maybe that baby rat’s energy has already transformed into some other beautiful thing. Or maybe it’s just completely dead… 🤷🏽‍♂️ Whatever that process is, it never was yours. You’re ok.

Username: Laura.1999Laura.1999

Date posted: 39w ago

I so so so relate to you. I accidentally hit a raccoon with my car and I shut off my radio and did the rest of the 40 minute drive in silence, constantly thinking about if I should go back, but then what would I do? Put it out of its misery? It was a horrible situation that I cried about a lot at the time and I still think about from time to time even tho it was a year ago. I told my friend and she laughed and said "girl you gave it 40 minutes of silence, you're good." And honestly? Seeing it as no big deal from someone elses perspective really helped me. I hope you can let this go, you're clearly very very nice and you don't deserve the extra stress.

Username: kylie m

Date posted: 5y ago

Okk, this is gonna sound super terrible and weird but i can't keep it to myself because it makes me think so bad of myself and stuff. Anyways, when i was a lil younger (maybe like a year or two ago) i touched my cats balls like really sexually and i feel so terrible about it. I'm also christian and just started being more of a christian this year. I've recently been going to this one church and i got saved there a few months ago. It made me feel relieved but I'm just jow thinking of this horrible mistake of mine. Since it happend, the cat ran away and i haven't seen it at all. It makes me scared to know if I'll go to heaven or hell for this. I'm not sure. The thought of me doing that has just sparked so much anxiety md stress to where i have thought about suicide but I'd never go through with it. Im feelin super down right now, and if anyone could help or talk to me I'd be so grateful. Also, I'm sorry this was super long.

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 5y ago

I made a bad choice when I was a teenager. It is by my standards one of the worst things I’ve ever done. I hit my sibling when I was upset with her, she was a lot younger than me, and she is non-verbal. I shared a room with her and she kept getting out of bed and crying at the bedroom door because she wasn’t ready for bed. I had spent about 2 hours bringing her back to bed and tucking her in and at a certain point I just lost my cool. I had school in the morning and for whatever reason I felt I couldn’t ask my mom for help. (I can’t remember why) I hit her, yelled at her, called her a bad girl, and pushed her into bed. In hindsight it makes me feel fucking sick to my stomach that I would treat someone like her like that. I realize as an adult so much more I could’ve done and how I could’ve handled the situation better. I could’ve gotten up and got her a snack, maybe she was hungry. I could’ve gone downstairs and woke my mom up and told her I was getting stressed out. I could’ve left my room and had a shower to stop my frustration from bubbling. I just feel so rotten about this, and I need to say this somewhere. It’s been about 8 years since this has happened, I’ve told my mom and my boyfriend about how horrible I feel about this. They don’t really seem to get it. In every moment of her life besides this one incident I have been her best friend and I try to do as much as I possibly can to enrich her life so when I express this regret with my family they tell me “I’m sure she’s forgotten”, “look how much she loves you” etc. My boyfriend compares this instance to times he hit his sister as a kid. I just don’t find it the same and I don’t know how to move on from this, especially since I’ve been obsessing over this during my most recent meltdown.

Username: Lina

Date posted: 2y ago

Please read:

I need some peace of mind or advice. I don’t know if it is my ocd but I feel immense guilt over everything & anything. I was friends with a girl who was pregnant and I cared about her and thought we were good friends. I haven’t know her long but she asked me to be her baby’s godmother. I ended up after a while telling her I couldn’t cuz I’m not well mentally/emotionally right now & then i tried to reach out she read & ignored my text. Then today she got in an awful car accident & her boyfriend posted the pics in our work group chat. I immediately assumed the worst and thought it was fake. It is isn’t and she lost the baby. I feel like such an awful human being for assuming something so awful. I feel such guilt cuz now the manager was wanting me to go to hospital with them & I feel like I don’t deserve to. I think it more upset me cuz the accident pics were awful and last year I lost my brother in a car accident. Please give me peace of mind I feel awful and don’t know how to get rid of the guilt of how awful I am.

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