zocd

Does anyone else strugfle really bad with ZOCD? Its scary for me because as much as I have a genuine care for animals, Im scared to ever own any in the future because I dont want to hurt them or do anything wrong with them. Im scared sometimes even just seeing stray dogs (not bc im scared of them, but bc of the intrusive thoughts about them...) i dont want to live like this :(

whenever i have harm ocd thoughts abt hurting my cat, normally i get really scared and i used to avoid being close to him or near him when those thoughts were there, but recently as ive been trying to work through them i find that im not scared. not only that though, whenever i have my hands near any places where my mind is telling me i could take advantage of, seeing that my cat is still happy and not afraid, reassures me that i havent ever acted in any way similar to what i think.. i find it comforting but i feel like its disgusting and fucked up of me to continue interacting with my cat and to be in any position where i could hurt him if those thoughts are there it feels like i enjoy the thoughts.. but i definitely dont! i just enjoy being able to still love him 😞 is this weird? i feel even worse for being concerned abt it

I’m so worried about being a literal psychopath. I keep reading that psychopaths start out hurting animals. I made some mistakes a kid. I was mean to my animals and for some reason it didn’t register that they felt pain. I never killed any animal I was just rough. I haven’t done anything since i was a kid. I get very emotional anytime I see an animal in pain and suffering. I even consider veterinary school after I graduated high school but chose not to pursue that because I have such strong emotions towards suffering animals/euthanasia. I could never see myself taking an animals life even if it was for the better. I currently live surrounded by animals and see them more as family than pets. They are my literal babies. I’m worried because I at times looked back to the things I did and wish I never did it but it’s never stuck so much with me until recently. It’s all I think about and I literally wanna punch myself and wish someone would’ve just beat me when I did that stuff. I’m worried it means I’m a psycho just waiting to break. I’ve been having harm ocd type stuff and have been ruminating and it’s all I think about is being a psycho. I feel like everything has been a lie since my childhood. I’m questioning my own emotions and everything and now I feel numb. I don’t wanna hurt anyone or anything but I constantly feel like a psycho and it feels so real. I always enjoyed watching true crime stuff with my bf and now that I know about all this I’m freaking tf out. Everything feels so real like it’s already happened or is gonna happen if I try to forget about it.