Lucy Van Pelt

Date posted: 47w ago

Severity

How severe was your OCD at it’s worst?

ocdnoononi

Date posted: 47w ago

Wake up? Intrusive thoughts- all the time 24/7 followed by flinches, tics shivers and constant ritualistic phrases to fight it. Groinal responses that hurt, like I got kicked in the groin. Stomach pain- panic attacks so bad I legit went fuzzy and started laughing before crying. Tension headaches— oh god I ruminate soooooooooo much I get such bad headaches. Ain’t healthy. I have high levels of cortisol and have a slow heartbeat so my hearts working extra to keep up with all this fucking anxiety. Yet.. even after all that, I’m still here. Standing. Even with my pocd, zocd, incest ocd, real event/false memory ocd- touch of harm and health concern…. I’m still here.

Lucy Van Pelt

Date posted: 47w ago

@ocdnoononi I’m so sorry but it sounds like you are a strong survivor! You should be proud!

ocdnoononi

Date posted: 47w ago

@Lucy Van Pelt To a degree lol, but also I hope that it shows you- that you can also be way stronger even with everything caving in. That you’ll find out after a wave of worsening ocd that you come out on the other side.

Lucy Van Pelt

Date posted: 47w ago

@ocdnoononi Thank you ❤️

Kris J

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 47w ago

I couldn’t function at all. I’d sleep 2 hours a night for weeks. Can’t even describe how high the anxiety was. My physical symptoms including shaking, depersonalization, trouble breathing, nonstop panic. I’d pray 100 times a day just to make sure I was worthy etc… eventually hospitalization.

Lucy Van Pelt

Date posted: 47w ago

@Kris J 🙁

Lucy Van Pelt

Date posted: 47w ago

@Kris J How are you doing now?

Ifiknewthen

Date posted: 47w ago

At its worst, i had to voluntarily check myself into a clinic.

Lucy Van Pelt

Date posted: 47w ago

@Ifiknewthen Was that helpful?

Ifiknewthen

Date posted: 47w ago

@Lucy Van Pelt No. It was a place that had mostly people addicted to opiods. It was a nice place. A place the local hospital took me too. I started off getting a hospital room and then they transported me to this place called RI International. I mentioned ocd to the psychiatrist over the video thing they had before you leave. She didnt know much about ocd. This was like 2016-2017. They were just looking to get me outta there. I could have left any time i wanted cause i was voluntary. But looking back it was so ridiculous why i went in. You have to get with an ocd specialist and really open up about whatever is bothering you. As long as you are totally honest about everything, you will get better.

Lucy Van Pelt

Date posted: 47w ago

@Ifiknewthen I’m working so hard I just feel like it’s never going to be better. It is improving it’s just so slow.

Ifiknewthen

Date posted: 47w ago

@Lucy Van Pelt Dont put a timeline on it. It could take a long time. Its hard to face the fears surrounding your ocd. Just keep working at it and push through the anxiety. Sometimes we think what we fear the most is so horrible but over time as we do the erp we look back and see how silly the obsessions were.

Lucy Van Pelt

Date posted: 47w ago

@Ifiknewthen Thank you!

happiness._.123

Date posted: 47w ago

I had derealisation themed OCD which was triggered due to my illogical thoughts and later a real event but I am improved alot now, now I just let the thoughts be present and not answer them and enjoy the moments that are to be enjoyed, isn't it weird we fall for the traps of our mind even though we know it is completely illogical

Lucy Van Pelt

Date posted: 47w ago

@happiness._.123 Yes that’s true

Nica

Date posted: 47w ago

I could not leave the house.

Lucy Van Pelt

Date posted: 47w ago

@Nica I’m there. I can’t leave without needing to shower. How are you now?

Nica

Date posted: 47w ago

@Lucy Van Pelt I’ve been subclinical for 4 years now and recovered.

Lucy Van Pelt

Date posted: 47w ago

@Nica That’s amazing! Congrats!

hellokittygirl

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 47w ago

i think it was at its worst actually when i was a kid cuz i felt i had to deal with everything on my own. i literally would panic and cry daily for months and the guilt and anxiety was so bad i felt like i had to vomit. things didn’t actually get better until a year later. i honestly hate thinking abt that time in my childhood 😭

Lucy Van Pelt

Date posted: 47w ago

@ineedhelplolz I’m so sorry. That’s too much for a child especially on their own. Hugs

Lucy Van Pelt

Date posted: 47w ago

Sometimes I worry I’m too far gone

NJmom

Date posted: 47w ago

@Lucy Van Pelt I also worry about this for myself. You’re not alone.

Lucy Van Pelt

Date posted: 47w ago

@NJmom Hugs

[Deleted]

Date posted: 47w ago

Deleted reply.

Lucy Van Pelt

Date posted: 47w ago

@alyssaw 🙁

[Deleted]

Date posted: 47w ago

Deleted reply.

Lucy Van Pelt

Date posted: 47w ago

@Bigotina 🙁 I can’t do that without showering

Lucy Van Pelt

Date posted: 47w ago

@Bigotina 🙁

rango

Date posted: 47w ago

I went to an urgent care 3x a week convinced I had any and every infection, put my partner through hell over it, and would still google for hours a night just to come up with the idea I had some rare form of cancer. every time I gave in it got worse

Lucy Van Pelt

Date posted: 47w ago

@alyssaw 🙁

Anonymous

Date posted: 47w ago

For me it is at it's worst right now unfortunately. To put things into perspective, my daily showers last around 2 hours 😔

Lucy Van Pelt

Date posted: 47w ago

@Anonymous 🙁

Lucy Van Pelt

Date posted: 47w ago

@Anonymous I would probably be there too but I’m avoiding so much. I’m sorry you are going though this. Hugs

mav6

Date posted: 47w ago

I didn’t sleep or eat for 10 days straight. Finally just collapsed at some point and woke up on the living room floor. Still anxious and freaking out….

Lucy Van Pelt

Date posted: 47w ago

@mav6 I’m so sorry! How are you doing now?

mav6

Date posted: 47w ago

@Lucy Van Pelt I am doing so much better now compared to then. I think I needed to hit that rock bottom point otherwise I wouldn’t have sought help. I still struggle with anxiety, panic attacks, etc but I have tools and strategies to better manage them now. At my lowest point, I didn’t even know what was wrong with me. I just thought I was losing my mind.

Lucy Van Pelt

Date posted: 47w ago

@mav6 That’s great! I’m so glad! Yes, knowing what’s going on can make a huge difference!

mav6

Date posted: 47w ago

@Lucy Van Pelt Yeah, a little education and knowledge goes a long way. When I was experiencing things like depersonalization, and the derealization, I thought I was losing my mind and going crazy. I was afraid to seek help because I thought they would lock me up or something. Now I understand those things are part of the panic attacks and they’re not so scary anymore.

Lucy Van Pelt

Date posted: 47w ago

@mav6 I remember thinking that same thing! Very scary when you don’t know what’s going on

hopelytle

Date posted: 17w ago

Question for those who have been in therapy

I am wanting to go to therapy to hopefully lower my OCD symptoms but I am terrified to tell anyone else, like a therapist, about my intrusive thoughts. Has anyone else had this experience and if so how did you get over it?

Josh M

Date posted: 15w ago

Winners

Those of you who have overcome at least a bit, if not all, of your OCD. When you went through the CBT and ERP, did it feel like the end of the world? And how did you face the fact that your fears and uncertainties might actually come to life?

Andrea Wells

Date posted: 8w ago

My OCD Journey

Looking back, I realize I’ve had OCD since I was 7. though I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 30. As a kid, I was consumed by fears I couldn’t explain: "What if God isn’t real? What happens when we die? How do I know I’m real?" These existential thoughts terrified me, and while everyone has them from time to time, I felt like they were consuming my life. By 12, I was having daily panic attacks about death and war, feeling untethered from reality as depersonalization and derealization set in. At 15, I turned to drinking, spending the next 15 years drunk, trying to escape my mind. I hated myself, struggled with my body, and my intrusive thoughts. Sobriety forced me to face it all head-on. In May 2022, I finally learned I had OCD. I remember the exact date: May 10th. Reading about it, I thought, "Oh my God, this is it. This explains everything." My main themes were existential OCD and self-harm intrusive thoughts. The self-harm fears were the hardest: "What if I kill myself? What if I lose control?" These thoughts terrified me because I didn’t want to die. ERP changed everything. At first, I thought, "You want me to confront my worst fears? Are you kidding me?" But ERP is gradual and done at your pace. My therapist taught me to lean into uncertainty instead of fighting it. She’d say, "Maybe you’ll kill yourself—who knows?" At first, it felt scary, but for OCD, it was freeing. Slowly, I realized my thoughts were just thoughts. ERP gave me my life back. I’m working again, I’m sober, and for the first time, I can imagine a future. If you’re scared to try ERP, I get it. But if you’re already living in fear, why not try a set of tools that can give you hope?

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