- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made! I know you must feel guilty and shitty, but there will be no good change that comes out of punishing yourself. Positive reinforcements matter. This is an opportunity to grow! It’s all about who you want to be NOW - you can’t change who you were then. We’re all on a journey, learning and understanding as we go along. You are self aware, and that’s good. You reflect. Buuuut try to do so without being mean to yourself in the process. I get it. I do the same thing. I think I DESERVE to put myself down, because if I’m nice to myself, I ‘don’t care enough’ about my past actions or mean traits. But fighting hate with hate won’t make me a better, happier, kinder person. And it won’t do so for you either. So forgive yourself, and move forward. I believe in you! ?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
well do you have real proof/evidence for this claim... it sounds similar to when I spiraled real down with my ocd and I practically convinced myself that I wasn‘t in love with my boyfriend anymore... what my therapist likes to say is this little analogy... what do you do when you’re walking down the street and there is a little stone in your shoe, it bothers you and hurts, do you think the stone is real? yes obviously... what if you walking down the street and you think about having a stone in your shoe and think about how much it will hurt, suddently it really does feel like there might be something in your shoe maybe you even start to feel a little pain because of it...does this (your thoughts) make the stone real? no it‘s just a thought! still you feel some emotions senations hurt and those sensations feel real but still there is no stone... the stone represents facts... so is there really proof/real facts that you emotionally abused your boyfriend or is it just a thought of yours made up by your ocd? are there hard and solid facts that abusive behavior on your side happened?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I love you all so much :’). Honestly it’s really reassuring to know I’m not a terrible person but I’ve just made some terrible mistakes and I need to learn and grow and be the best version of myself.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
^^ well said!
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Unfortunately pain breeds pain. We record how others treat us and do the same. I'm guilty of it myself and it's AWWFULL. Yeah, making changes, day by day is the best we can do really. We just gotta break the cycle. So many people don't and go in hurting others. At least you're waking up out the cycle. I recommend watching Tara Brach's videos - especially one titled 'learning to respond not react' .
- Date posted
- 5y ago
do you have any real proof for this?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
What do you mean @chichi
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yeah unfortunately it is true. I’m overly jealous, say mean things and the worst of it was me saying I’m going to kill myself if he didn’t come back and listen to my feelings when he said he wanted space after a disagreement. The thing is, I KNOW it is wrong. I didn’t know it was emotional abuse but when he told me how he felt I started searching it and it is 100% me. I feel so ashamed and guilty. I’m not justifying it at all but in my previous relationship I was emotionally abused. I was put down and cheated on and he also used threats to make me listen. Now I know that this behaviour isn’t normal and it’s abusive I really want to change. I really really do. I just can’t forgive myself.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Also, does it make me abusive if I’m annoyed and upset that my boyfriend is now smoking weed with his friends now that we agreed to have a little space? I always told him not to smoke it as it’s a disgusting habit to me and he respected that but now he’s doing it again
- Date posted
- 5y ago
But he already gave all that up for me and now we’re in a bad place he’s starting to do everything he gave up again
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w ago
I’ve said and done so many hurtful things growing up, especially in elementary and middle school. I was very passive aggressive and mean for a majority of my life, and I’ve hurt peoples feelings. I’m no longer like that now, but every single thing I’ve ever done wrong replays in my head constantly, from the moment I wake up to the second I go to sleep. I know I deserve to feel the chronic guilt and shame, so I feel even more guilty pitying myself. It’s eating me alive, I’m so scared. I know people must hate me, and they have every right to. feel like I don’t deserve to have moments of happiness because I’ve taken that ability away from someone before. I’m not diagnosed, but this has been going on for years and I’m scared to talk to anyone about it because I fear they would look at me differently knowing I’ve hurt someone’s feelings. I feel like a monster. It’s ruining my life and I don’t know what to do.
- Date posted
- 23w ago
Does anyone else experience this lingering fear and anxiety because they think they’re capable of hurting someone? It’s killing me. I feel like I’m such a danger. I feel like I’m a predator. I feel like this awful person and I can’t shake it. I want to carry on with my day but I can’t. I don’t feel like I deserve it. I feel like I’ve done awful things. I can’t stop crying.
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- Date posted
- 16w ago
I don’t know how to stop confessing. It’s driving me insane. I confess every little thing to my boyfriend. I confessed that I liked attention (this is so obviously human), that I liked it when people found me pretty (also very human??) I confessed about a million other things and I feel out of control. I felt so safe with him last night that it just started pouring out of me. I felt guilty and awful and I just needed release, I couldn’t breathe I felt like I was dying. I’m stuck in a confessing loop and I know I’m only making things worse. Has anyone experienced this and been able to overcome it? It feels absolutely horrible and impossible. I tried to ERP this and I genuinely feel like I am suffocating if I hold off. I feel so disappointed in myself, but I can’t seem to stop. I even had a dream where I confessed to him and woke up needed to confess that. I’m scared I’ll start sharing my worst intrusive thoughts I’ve had if I feel too safe around my bf. Help please :(
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