Feeling horrible

Fun new obsession! I worked under a TA who I thought was super hot. I was happily committed to my now husband, but at the time I still harbored a lot of attraction toward this man, to the point of occasionally fantasizing about him. I felt awful about it then and I feel bad about it now. I’m trying to rack my brain and make sure nothing inappropriate ever happened, I can remember hoping he thought I looked good and wanting him to think I was funny but I never did anything besides my work when I was with him. I’m convinced this makes me a bad person or even worse, that I’m destined to cheat on my husband. Other instances happened when I was drunk, never to the point of cheating thank god, but flirtations with other men. This hasn’t happened since I was a freshman in college as I stopped heavily drinking and realized how much I needed to work to be the best version of myself. I constantly feel guilty, like I need to atone for what happened. This is almost worse than the crippling HOCD I’ve been fighting. Please help❤️ and thanks if you made it this far lol

Need some advice please! Went out with friends the other night - both of them are single and I have been in my wonderful relationship for over a year now. Anyways, my friend met a guy and he offered to buy us some drinks. Both my friends went to the bathroom and I decided to stay behind and watch all our drinks (safety reasons obvi since we don’t know this man). A man was talking to the guy we were with and I was relieved I didn’t need to make conversation with him when all of a sudden the guy we were with goes to the other man “hey my girlfriend and I here are trying to have a nice date night together and enjoy each other’s company, would you mind?” And I was completely thrown off. I felt so uncomfortable and had to go along with it, and the other man was like “what do you like about your bf?” And I was like Um he’s a cool guy I guess and it becomes this big false story. The man leaves and this guy then asks me “have you ever had that happen to you before? Have a guy pretend to be your boyfriend?” And I immediately was like “no I haven’t. Normally MY boyfriend is with me lol.” Shut it down right away. Then the guy started asking about my friends again. Anyways long story short, my OCD spiked after this. My mind has been replaying the event over and over to check and make sure I didn’t flirt. My mind is also saying “did I like he was trying to flirt with me? Did I want to flirt back? Did I flirt back? Maybe I flirted?” I had a quick thought it could be a cute story at first for how someone would meet for the first time, not me obviously but someone else, but then the more I thought about it the more I just thought this guy was plain rude. I told my boyfriend the entire story that same night and he just said the guys a weirdo (which he was) and he’s sure I didn’t do anything wrong. But I still feel so guilty for some reason? Any advice? Also want to say I know I would never ever do anything to jeopardize my relationship with my boyfriend, nor do I even have any desire for other mens attention. I was just super uncomfortable I was even put in that situation.

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year coming this May. I have never had feelings for someone like this and I genuinely see myself living the rest of my life with him. Talking to him comes effortlessly. He sees me for all that I am and works with me. My family has already begun developing a connection with him as well as I have with his family. I’ve never felt so at home until meeting him. Lately my ROCD symptoms have been playing on the narrative of him either finding a new girl that interests him and is somehow “better” than me OR me ruining our relationship because of potential cheating I have absolutely no actual interest in cheating because I know he’s my person and so am his. I know I’m going to marry him and I know that I want him to be the father of my kids. I want to see him grow and I want to build a foundation of unconditional love with him. So why do I shame myself? There’s this shop that him and I go to quite frequently, and the last time we went an employer that we typically see every-time we come began talking to me personally. We were all just talking about movies but my boyfriend mentioned that he felt like he was flirting with me. I begun feeling bad like I was doing something wrong. My mind started telling me that I liked having him “flirt” with me and that it made me feel desirable and confident in knowing that I was still considered attractive. I’m scared because now everytime we go the employee seems to be staring at me and when I went today he actually gave me something for free which led to me thinking I was playing into the flirting narrative and that this would lead to something worse (Though I still have no interest in doing so, just anxiety about that happening is the best way to put it) Has anyone else experienced something similar? Is there any advice that can be given? I don’t think anything’s going to happen, but what If I do like knowing someone likes me even if it’s not reciprocated? Does that make me a cheater? Or is that the product of unresolved self worth issues?