religion

I've struggled with similar thoughts. As a believer in Jesus, I find reading a few scriptures and writing them down helps bring my focus back to our Lord and off of my negative thoughts..prayer , prayers that are written out in a prayer book help me allot..We are loved by God his mercy overflows, just forgive yourself and talk to Jesus , he knows your struggles and see you trying to do the best you can. Be gentle and patient with yourself. You are going to be ok, take one hour at a time..

I can see you are really struggling here. Let me try to offer you some helpful advice as someone who long ago went through this. Why are you choosing to believe in a God that is so vengeful as opposed to a loving one? The fears you have are illogical and not based in anything even biblical. The taking of the lords name in vain has to do with taking it in an oath, invoking the presence in a careless manner in ancient Hebrew. You can believe me or not but I guarantee you there is no hell in the Bible. Hell is an old English word meaning covering place just as Hel-met means to cover your head. Hell is a translation of 4 different words, Sheol(Hebrew) meaning the common grave. Gehenna (Aramaic) a literal place called the valley of Hinnon, Hades (Greek) the Greek mythological world of the dead and Tartarus (Greek) the center of that underworld. God does not care about your thoughts. You are making a choice to believe in a God that basically evil as opposed to a loving one. Then you want to know why you don’t feel anything for God and are only trying to “save your own skin” well who could feel anything for the monster you created in your head?

Hi - so sorry you are going through this! I think what will help you alot is to realize that it is our FAITH in Christ’s death and rising from the dead that saves us. Our religious actions will never do anything to save us. In fact, it was the Pharisees and sadducees that Christ was giving warnings to over and over, bc they wanted so badly to rely on their works to be “good.” You don’t need to worry about getting things “right” bc the truth is we all mess up and so we can’t ever meet perfection. That is where understanding God’s grace becomes so important. For me personally, I used to deal with condemnation so consistently that I listened to sermons in grace for hours and hours and hours. When my heart started to grasp God’s grace - even for just a little bit - I found so much freedom, because condemnation and OCD can’t co-exist when God’s grace and love are present. Also - don’t worry about feelings. God never commanded certain “feelings” if we are going to have a relationship with Him. I always say - the hardest thing for Christians with OCD to do is to believe God is as good and kind and gentle as He says He is. Once we start living like that is a reality, the feelings follow. But even if they don’t, they are not a requirement to knowing God. I write a lot more about this in a book I wrote - you can see more at WagingWarAgainstOCD.com I hope this helps you!