Pls help

Is it possible for intrusive thoughts to be disguised as real thoughts after a while. I can never tell what’s a conscious thought and whats a subconscious thought. Because they seem so similar it confuses me. That and the fact I’ve had OCD for a long time and I have so many subtypes I constantly am having thoughts circling in my head and I don’t really filter them anymore if that makes sense. I just notice thoughts and then they go in and out. Like I don’t check to see what’s intrusive or not. So it bothers me now because after doing that for so long I can’t separate them and know if it’s an actual thought from my own conscious something I truly want or if it intrusive? I know people say intrusive thoughts are thoughts that cause you panic and bother you, thoughts you know you wouldn’t act on. But that makes it difficult for me because part of OCD is making you doubt yourself so it goes hand in hand so I can never distinguish if I agree with my intrusive thoughts. Usually my intrusive thoughts don’t bother me until like weeks later when I actually think about the thought and obsess cause I’m like wtf why’d I think that. But most moments I just let my thoughts come and go and they don’t bother me. But then eventually some of them will later on. That’s what makes it hard for me to distinguish my own thoughts from intrusive thoughts because most of the thoughts that bother me later don’t bother me at first. Can those thoughts still be intrusive because I worried about them later on? And usually they are not something I would think on my own free will if that makes sense

Username: examplenickkexamplenickk

Date posted: 17w ago

I feel like I can’t differentiate between real and intrusive thoughts at all anymore, and my only barometer is whether or not they fit my morality, which I think is just guidelines I’ve set up to filter out what I think I’m allowed to feel/think. if that makes any sense. i can’t tell if the thought is ME or if it’s an intrusive one half the time anymore, so i’ll just decide whether or not it’s a thought that the person I imagine myself to be would be okay having

Username: Puffin123456Puffin123456

Date posted: 17w ago

@examplenickk I 100% get that, it’s like I’m talking to myself lol. I think that’s a helpful tool. I feel that the person you want to be is the person you really are. Everybody makes mistakes and has thoughts they don’t like and those thoughts and mistakes don’t define your character. I think with ocd that’s one of the hard parts is it takes your mistakes and thoughts and tries to make you believe that those mistakes or thoughts do define you and your character when in absolute reality they don’t. But at the same time if you try to tell your OCD that or reassure yourself in any way then your OCD will do everything in its power to dispute it. What crazy is I’m actively struggling with my rumination and compulsions if you couldn’t already tell lol and if I tried to tell myself what I’m telling you right now my OCD would try to prove me wrong. That’s what sucks the most I think is it doesn’t matter what you know logically and what you know is true OCD will always try to convince you otherwise. It just a matter of choosing to challenge it and get wrapped up in the trap ocd sets or just accept what your ocd thinks of you like maybe it’s true maybe it’s not. Like think of OCD as another person and their view of you and be like that’s ok you can think that of me I know what true. I don’t know as you can see I’m struggling with that myself I still fall for trap and give into compulsions but I’m trying to change my brains approach to things ocd throws at me and learn to be ok with the bad thoughts that’s bother me and just let them come and go instead of fixating on them. Some days are good some are bad. Last week I had no intrusive thoughts bothering me no compulsions just a blank mind fast forward to now I’m spiraling I think that’s just part of healing you know it’s not a straight line sometimes you’ll get knocked down and have to get up and try again

Username: TexasOCD41TexasOCD41

Date posted: 17w ago

oh boy are in in the trenches. Bless your heat. OK SO! #1. https://youtu.be/fPtjx2ysxa8?si=y_T6ZJM1dhjTsfRr watch this video. To beat your enemy is to know your enemy. 2nd. all thoughts are the same, basically they are all "intrusive" just some are good witches and some are bad witches. No one can actually control their thoughts, we just can pick and choose the ones that are important to us and discard the ones that are not... oh wait... OCD, yea, it kinda throws a wrench in that logic. SO allll those questions you are asking, all that self and thought monitoring and analyzing, you are doing a compulsion called ruminating which is where you are trying to analyze and figure out the problem ( except guess what, there is no problem to solve). BUT compulsions feed OCD and make it stronger, so the more you try to "figure out" which thoughts are real and which ones aren't, the stronger you are making your OCD. Here's the thing.. what if i told it doesn't matter which ones are intrusive and which ones are real? because it doesn't. The only thoughts that matter are the ones you WANT to pay attention to, NOT the ones you feel FORCED to pay attention to. however, you seem to be so wound up in trying to decipher a good thought from a bad thought i think you need to hit the factory reset for awhile and decide " it doesn't matter right now, ill figure it out later if i feel like it but right now im going to get back to doing what im doing" and this will be your RPM- response prevention mantra. and every SINGLE time you feel yourself starting to figure out or categorize or filter a thought, you repeat this mantra( or your own version of it) that shifts your gears our of rumination, out of the compulsion, and back to here and now and the present. Also-themes dont matter either, all OCD themes get treated with the exact same treatment and OCD is always going to be defeated with lack of attention given to it. You're going to be ok. eat good, rest well, go for walks, slow your self down. This will pass.

Username: Puffin123456Puffin123456

Date posted: 17w ago

@TexasOCD41 Thank you so much I’m crying right now from relief and happiness that someone understands and took the time to help me.OCD is such a bitch. I didn’t even realize I was spiraling that bad off until you mentioned me being in the trenches and telling me bless my heart but that’s a good thing it means so much that you said that because u really saw me and my struggle and took the time to help and the fact you said bless your heart I felt genuine care and compassion and I haven’t felt that from someone before when it comes to this disease. I went for so long feeling like no one understood until I found this app. Kind people like you are why I keep going thank you for taking the time to show me some compassion and guidance it means so so much to me. You worded everything perfectly and with such care. I definitely will watch that video. Thank you so much for helping me snap out of it and realize I just need to take a step back and realize that I’m stuck in a compulsion because I’ve been dealing with it for so long sometimes I don’t even know that’s happening. I don’t even realize how deep I get into rumination sometimes until like days later it’s horrible so really thank you I’m so grateful for you helping me

Username: TexasOCD41TexasOCD41

Date posted: 17w ago

@Bluerasberry - You are so welcome. I have been in your shoes and the isolation is crippleing. I work with an NOCD therapist who has REALLY helped me and I would encourage you to find an OCD specialized therapist if possible, but If not, self treatment is absolutely possible. the NOCD website is where I leaned as much as I could about OCD and understanding it REALLY helps me. Ill catch myself going down a rabbit hole and then remember " nope! that's an OCD trap, I'm not going down there!" and shift gears. it can be hard and it take practice but its doable and it WORKS! stay strong! you will look back on this someday and smile and be so proud of yourself that you made it... and maybe laugh a little because once you do get on the other side of OCD- its such a stupid pathetic looking little creature you can't help but laugh at it. you got this!

Username: Puffin123456Puffin123456

Date posted: 17w ago

@TexasOCD41 Thank you so much really. Ive been thinking about getting a ocd therapist I have ptsd with therapy because I had been through it since a child to a young adult and had bad experience so it’s been holding me back but I think it’s best. Thank you so much for giving me hope and being here for me even though I’m a stranger. Bless you and I hope you have a really wonderful life because you deserve it

Username: lcylcy

Date posted: 17w ago

I relate to you so much its actually insane

Username: Ella___

Date posted: 5y ago

Does anyone recall a time where intrusive thoughts didnt bother you then all of a sudden they bothered you and you couldn’t tell the difference between your memories and intrusive thoughts.

"Pure" OCD

Username: puzzled_nut

Date posted: 4y ago

I need help. Does anyone else with mental compulsions get confused about which thoughts are obsessions and which are compulsions? Sometimes thoughts I’d considered compulsive start to feel intrusive. Then I don’t know which thoughts I’m supposed to try to stop (mental compulsions) and which I’m supposed to allow (intrusive thoughts/obsessions). I get so confused and overwhelmed about what I’m supposed to do when this happens and it feels horrible. The confused feeling gets so strong my head feels like it’s buzzing and spinning. Does anyone have any advice?

"Pure" OCD

Username: missbluesky

Date posted: 3y ago

I feel like I can’t identify intrusive thoughts…I’m just constantly trying to figure my sexuality out. Like, it’s the first thing on my mind in the morning and the last thing before I go to bed and I’ve been diagnosed with OCD several times but like??? Why do some people know they’re having “1-3 thoughts per hour” if I can’t even identify them?

Sexual Orientation OCD

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