- Date posted
- 23w ago
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 23w ago
If you watch Dr McGrath’s NOCD webinars on YouTube there’s a great little speech he does in response to a question where he says “I quite frankly call BS on “it feels like” because I don’t care what it feels like I care about what it actually IS”. Go look it up it’s good stuff what he says and it rings true. I can “feel like” the train that I’m sitting on right now as I write this response to your post is about to derail and go off the tracks and crash in a big heap. Does that mean it’s actually true? I mean “it feels like” that could certainly be true. But no it does not mean that it is actually true. Just because something “feels like it” doesn’t make it true. This is one of OCDs best tricks to keep you trapped in compulsions and ultimately stay stuck.
- Date posted
- 22w ago
I’m so sorry it took me so long to respond 😭. But the thoughts that ocd can give to a person can definitely feel real at times, I know because I used to have lots of intense thoughts about my sexuality, whether it’s my brain telling me that “I’m just to worried to come out” or that “don’t you just want to try a guy” or way worse thoughts. But beachgirl I can only tell you one thing. And it’s that the thoughts are only as real as you make them. They can’t harm you, they can’t change you, and they definitely can’t change your sexuality. And for people that’s one of the hardest parts about dealing with OCD because, All of us already knew that, but our brain is just causing doubt about it. Over time I kind of just gave up. I quit trying to fight the thoughts and waste my energy on them because it wasn’t worth it. The thing about OCD is that it wants you to fight it, or prove it wrong so our brains can have a solid answer. But it doesn’t work that way. You have to sit with the anxiety. And once you do, you kinda realize that it’s not as intense as your brain is saying it is. I looked through some of your other posts and it seems like you’re constantly fighting with it, now it may seem like that’s the good thing to do, but it’s not. You fighting OCD is what OCD wants you to do because it gets attention from it. It’s like an annoying friend who needs attention by bothering you, but when you don’t play along with them, they leave you alone. Also beachgirl something that’s helped me a lot is knowing that you aren’t alone in this. Everyone at some point in their life deals with intrusive thoughts and they can vary for lots of different reasons. (My bad this post is so long 😭)
- Date posted
- 22w ago
@DannyDD It’s ok!! Thank you tho I needed to hear this!!
- Date posted
- 22w ago
@Beachgirl2024 No problem glad I could help 🙏🏿
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 23w ago
It just feels real I'm sure.
- Date posted
- 23w ago
@Speckles What thoughts are you having? And what does the feeling feel like?
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 23w ago
@DannyDD I'm just saying that the thoughts can feel so real and they aren't. It's not true most of the time
- Date posted
- 23w ago
@DannyDD Like me making out/dating a girl and girls private parts! But once it starts i make it go away/it goes away on its own
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w ago
I was in this game with this person and I noticed his voice was deep, and his avatar looked attractive to me?? and my brain was like “his voice is so??? And his avatar kinda fine too” like omg, shut up, I’m not taken yet but I still want to be in this relationship with this other guy, I feel like there’s nothing I can do and I’ll always be a cheater, I don’t even know how I feel, like do I actually want to cheat??? And it freaks me out because I don’t even know how I feel? Because sometimes I’ll get a feeling that agrees with it, like I’ll have that feeling that wants me to date them and then I’ll hear something like “yeah I would” / “yeah I agree with that” ,, now I feel like I’ll be a cheater and I’m really scared, I would NEVER cheat, nor would I trade this boy for anything, but I can’t do it. I just need to know what to do.
- Date posted
- 14w ago
I feel so sad, alone, scared and hopeless. Until two months ago there was not even the remote possibility of being anything other than heterosexual and now the idea that I could find out that I was lesbian or bisexual terrifies me to death. Everything was born from the fact that I didn't feel sexual desire towards my ex-boyfriend and I started to be afraid that it was because I was a lesbian... how can I be a lesbian or bisexual if everything was born from this? I would like to run away from myself and my head. I would really like to go back and go back to my life before. I can't take it anymore. I just want to live my life like before
- Date posted
- 10w ago
Idk what else to title this. I was watching a film cooper video cuz why not and he mentioned smthn about wall paper customization and icons and stuff and I just kinda had a groinal response followed by the memory of me having my first crush on a woman (my friend at the time) that helped me figure out that I’m bi and I felt kinda intensely for her but that’s cuz a) it was new and b) we were kinda on again off again friends who haven’t spoken in a few years now and I’m over her entirely. It was toxic I think. She was too much like the person who bullied me in elementary school (they were friends as well so my mom made me cut her off which is. Fair. Made me really sad but eh that’s life) I saw her at prom cuz someone brought her. It was nice to see her but yeah that was it. And now I’m mentally comparing what I felt for women in the past (idk intense crush, listening to a lot of gay songs (think she by dodie) dressing semi masc cuz funky, we had nicknames for each other despite not dating or anything) to men (less intense crush but still big crush, I’ve only dated and kissed men so sparks rhere) and now I’m just slightly nauseous and worried that I don’t like men as much as I like women but I think that’s normal for any bi person? To have different levels of attraction to different genders? Idk I feel gross and icky now like I shouldn’t even be thinking about it or her cuz I have a bf. And I do look fondly upon it, now I’m nervous cuz I got more excited about her calling me a specific nickname than I do from my bf calling me honey even at the beginning? Honey felt more traditional and I love it but we do switch around nicknames and it’s always nice, not many butterflies anymore, and sometimes I get anxious when he does lately, if it’s a nickname in Portuguese. Or if he called me a shortened version of my name. What does that mean? I’m nervous now. I was doing half decently today now I’m nauseous again. I’m worried that cuz I liked the nicknames she and I had that means I don’t like the ones my bf and I have and that I just don’t like him or men cuz I’ve been feeling off around him. But I love when he calls me honey, it still feels good when he does it now but no butterflies. Idk what’s wrong with me. Is it even ocd at this point. Even if I do like women slightly more it doesn’t erase that I love my bf. I’m worried I’m leaning too much towards women tho and I’m a lesbian. Idk if my bi cycle is cycling or if I’m just a lesbian entirely cuz I don’t feel much when my bf takes off his shirt, sex feels different, and things feel stale and slow. But maybe that’s cuz I’m checking and comparing. Now I’m anxious fuck. I’m trying not to think about her idk why. I’m worried I still find her attractive or am attracted to her or smthn. She’s in my city. I didn’t care before but now I do. Or if I think about her I’ll think about other women and will only want to have sec with women which not really tbh. I wanna be able to enjoy sec with my bf. It just hasn’t felt right lately cuz I’ve been so depressed and obsessive. I wasn’t obsessing much last night when we had sex but it still didn’t feel passionate. It didn’t feel uncomfortable but I thought it’d be more? Idk. I know it’s normal to not feel him inside me cuz the vagina isn’t very nerved up compared to the clitoris but it felt like more the motions. But tbh. I needed it. Idk I wanted to have sex and it was a nice stress relief. I just didn’t feel butterflies which kinda bummed me out but we’ve been having sex since august so that’s normal. Idk. I haven’t been able to fantasize about sex. The fact that I’m bi makes all of this so confusing. Cuz yes hypothetically I can enjoy the thought of sex with a woman. But I don’t want to rn cuz I’m dating a man. And I can’t fantasize about sex with him cuz I’m getting intrusive thoughts about my friends and I having sex. I have this urge to watch porn cuz it’s been a while but I’m not going to. I’ve cut down a lot on masturbation. Partially cuz this partially cuz I wanna do things with my bf (when I’m mentally ok) but jow my brain is saying “Oo you think all these women are so hot you’re gonna go feral blah blah blah” and yes women are hot but I don’t wanna have sex with a woman. Idk saying women are hot doesn’t bring me anxiety but the thought of sex with one or leaving my bf and saying I’m a lesbian bother me. Cuz I know it’s not true. I love him I know that. I’d be happy if we stayed together. I wouldn’t regret a thing honestly. I like having sex with him. Idc if it’s not like porn or the movies. As long as I’m being pleasured and he’s being pleasured we’re good. That’s what sex is about. I think the loss of butterflies is normal cuz the excitement of like (sorry tmi) fingering and oral eventually wears off right? But still feels good. I don’t feel as excited about intimacy anymore cuz we have done it so often but it still feels nice. But my brain perceives that as me not liking sex with men and therefore I’m gay. No I just don’t feel the need to jump his bones every single time I see him?? Idk the friend thing is bothering me. Idk if I feel any joy behind it. The groinal response really really throws my perception off
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