- Username
- TonyOCD
- Date posted
- 5y ago
You just perfectly described what we call the 'groinal syndrome'! Don't worry about whether you're experiencing the same as everyone else - that particular symptom manifests differently in everyone, and can change over time especially after a long-term OCD theme has essentially trained your body to have a physical response to thoughts.
This is a really common thing for HOCD sufferers... HOCD can send you all kinds of false sensations , feelings , or emotions , they don’t have to be groinal responses. Many people can be turned on by things they aren’t actually attracted to , specifically because the material is sexual in nature. That feeling , regardless of if you’re attracted to what you see , can cause you to become mentally aroused too , and just want to do something without it being with what you see.
My god... I am so sorry to hear this, I really am. How old are you? Please, tell your mom that OCD is a neurilogical disease and you can't just control it on your own. That you NEED the help of a specialized therapist. Tell her there are some who might be open to allow you to get the service even by therapy sessions online at a reduced fee if she can't afford it. If you have no other option, I would go to the Social Services professional at your school and tell them about it. I'm sorry you're in this position. But you need the help someway
I’m 15
No, no... sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. By saying I flagged I meant that I put an automatic notification in this conversation, so when you write the app will inform me. Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. I just want to know that you will be fine. Take care ?
Finally!!! Someone caressss
Can you stay online with me?? ?
@GummyDrop I don’t know if he can but I can ! :) are you okay ?
@xiiiandreww No I’m not okay
@GummyDrop Nooo what’s going on :(
@xiiiandreww My mom doesn’t understand ocd and she thinks it’s a joke
@GummyDrop Do you think any social workers at your school could speak to her about it and maybe she would understand it more if they said something ?
@xiiiandreww Everyone at school is mosty happy, I’m not cause I have hocd.
@xiiiandreww She’s there physically for me like providing food, but she not mentally there for me when I’m struggling like now, Idk everyday I get off school I come to this app, but I’m don’t a progess
@GummyDrop Have you told your mom specifically about having HOCD or did you just say you had OCD
@xiiiandreww I told her about hocd and she said don’t be worry about the word gay. “Gay” shouldn’t scare you, and she said I’m worrying too much. It’s a mental health and she don’t speak English so it’s harder to explain
@GummyDrop Ask her to put herself in your shoes... be like “mom , if you worried about this for the entire day for many many months , how would you feel?” And tell her that it’s serious just off the fact that you are telling her about it.
@xiiiandreww I told her that I’m worried, but she said stop annoying me with that question
@xiiiandreww Thanks for staying online for me, I don’t really have anyone that listens
@GummyDrop Tell her it’s ruining your life and that it really hurts you that she doesn’t understand
@GummyDrop Anytime !!
@xiiiandreww I told her ima tell my health teacher at school, and she said she’s gald I’m getting help. But I’m also putting myself in her shoes, she my mom not a ocd therapist so she doesn’t know these stuff, ocd isn’t talked about a lot nor taking seriously so...
@advice? California
@xiiiandreww You still online?
@GummyDrop What I mean is tell her to put herself in your shoes specifically , and that’s great that you’re talking about it with your health teacher :) let us know how it goes
@xiiiandreww I wanna do great things in life
@GummyDrop I have no doubt that you will!! You have the power to for sure :)
@xiiiandreww Yeah I’m still young and in school, and I don’t want ocd to get in the way
Im happy to hear that. I hope you recover soon. Is gonna get better ?thank you too!
HOCD thoughts*
What do you mean by "getting aroused" though? The groinal response etc etc are essentially when you have unwanted physical sensations along with intrusive thoughts. If you "feel" something and panic about it, that can be considered a groinal symptom of OCD. If you're genuinely enjoying it, that's different.
That's the thing: is paradoxical. I enjoy them, but I don't. They are sexual to me, and they arouse me. But I've never been attracted to them and I hate them. And they didn't started for "curiosity" or anything. They startded as instrusive and unwanted thoughts that where disgusting to me. They started being groinals and unwanted sensations. But I tested myself in many ways until they started being arousing. It's weird and hard to believe maybe, but this is my story, this is my OCD, and it's true. I get scared to think I'm the one HOCD case that turned out to be true... So yes, even being an erection, it's an unwanted sensation to me. And i hate it.
You mean it starts to feel like you want it? Yes, a lot of people on here have said that.
@hateocd123 I know I don't want it. Of that I'm 100% sure. I mean I get scared that I get sexually stimulated by my thoughts.
So what I mean by "I enjoy them" is that I get turned on by some. But of course I don't enjoy thinkin of them and of course I want them to stop. I never wanted any of this. And in 11 years with HOCD i've never been slightly interested in acting out my OCD thlughta. Not by any stretch of imagination
11 years? I hope I don’t have it for that long try doing erp
Okay, so being aroused is a groinal response. It's just about whether it's enjoyable/wanted or not. Only you can really say how you feel about your response. But nobody is going to make you act on intrusive thoughts that you don't want to act on!
What if you like the gronial response but not what your aroused by?
@GummyDrop That means nothing , anyone can like a groinal response even if they don’t like what caused it haha
@xiiiandreww Does it mean your gay?
@GummyDrop No ??
If arousal is a groinal response, I can assure you I react to it with exactly tye same panic, even more, than the panic every hocd sufferer has when they feel a "twinge or tingle". When my hocd started, I fetl them too a lot and I wanted to die. Today I react the same, but to my erectiona, since my groinals have escalated to that. Even if a thought is sexually stimulsting to me, be mentally or physiologically, I assure you: I don't want it and I'm not attracted to it. That's exactly why I suffer so much. If I wanted it it wouldn't be OCD. And if I was gay in denial I think I would just know. Actually, my thoughts happen with anyone randomnly. Is not like I go out to the street and see a good looking guy and go like "let me have a sexual thlught with him". My mind does it for herself, with anyone. It happens even with my best friends, it has happened with teenagers... i just think i would shoot myself when this happens. It hurts so much ?
The tingle feeling I get that
Thank you guys. It really makes me feel better. I genuinely hate my thoughts as much as anyone who doesn't feel arousal to them, as much as anyone with HOCD. But like my therapist says, every ocd story is unique on their own. My story includes a lot of porn consumption to the things my ocd pushed me to through testing. And above all, lot's of hours compulsively trying to imagine "sexy" gay thoughts. So maybe I shouldn'tbe surprised if they arouse me mentally, physiologically or whatever. Groinals escalated to erections... but one thing remains stable: I hate this and today I suffer even more than 11 years ago. And I still haven't feel attracted to a guy or trans person.
Have you ever randomly had a thought of a little kid that is the same wed as you and you had a thought about their downstairs??? This hocd is making me crazyyyy
I've had many different ones. I can't tell if I've had such. But the specific content of the thought varies by individual to individual. You shouldn't be cincerned for that. If it's unwanted and intrusive, that's the key to ignore it.
I get sad when I think I want it, then I hate myself even more cause I don’t wanna be a lesbian pedofile. This gay thoughts are driving me crazy, and the fact that it’s about a little girl makes me wanna throw up.
Search for a therapist specialized in OCD. You will get better, but you NEED the treatment.
Me?
Yes
I can’t afford it I’m young and at school
I'm sorry to hear that. Have you talked to your parents? It is extremely important that you get the help you need. You shouldn't handdle OCD by yourself or just through forums
I’m in school and still young I need help. I told my mom she doesn’t understand it but she told me to get help at school, i don’t think I’ll get help from a ocd therapist cause idk if I find it and I can’t afford it
Neurological*
GummyDrop, I have flagged this conversation. If you don't mind, please let me know in the nex days/weeks if you find some help. It really breaks my heart to know you're going through this and that your mom told you to seek help elsewhere.
Wait is the cops coming to my house?
@GummyDrop Omg no they aren’t !! I know that I’m not in the conversation but I just felt it was important to tell you that they definitely are not going to your house
I have insta @pencilllllll5 please contact me there
@xiiiandreww I’m mean even if they did come I won’t mind
@xiiiandreww The fuck do I do? Everyone at school is happy. And what happened if that tony guy flagged me? What does that mean?
Hi GummyDrop. I'm sorry I've experienced problems with the app. I didn't see the notification. I would've happily stay online when you asked. How are you today? How is it going with your mom? I think she may be thinking that you being concerned for a homosexual topic is the problem. So she may see it as an identity matter, like mine did the first time I told her. But OCD is not about the topic. Is the disorder that keeps you into a loop of anxiety and doing compulsions to get rid of it while they only make it worse. I think it could help if you tell her about the disorder in itself in additio to the topic that concerns you. And tell her that is as serious as any other mental health problem, like depression.
Hi I’m backkkkk
Has anything gotten better with your mom? How are you feeling? Remember OCD is a liar :)
My mom don’t care but my friends do, they just don’t know the theme tho
There's no need to tell everyone the specifics if you don't want to. OCD is still OCD... I'm more concerned about your mom. You need the service, and I would insist in trying to find a way to get it. Did you tell at school? Is there any other family member that can help? They need to understand is not a sexual identity crisis, but I neurological disorder.
Oh I ask my health teacher if I can talk to her privately, and I told her I have ocd but not the theme, and she wrote me a referral to the wellness and told me, she’ll bring some one with ocd so I can relate and I’ll be talking to a psychiatrist
And she said she’ll try to schedule the appointment early since she knows it’s stressing me out
And I just wanna to tell you how thankful I am for you caring about me, and making sure I’m ok, I really respect that
Oh I'm SO SO happy you're gonna get the help you need. It really made me sad to think of you, a teenager, going through this. I've been living with it for so long that I know how bad it can be without the right help. Sorry for the initial scare when you thought coos would come to your house jajaj. I think I wanted to say I "bookmarked" the conversation jajaj english is not my first language. BTW, Congratulations on being brave and for seeking help. I wish you the best of luck. Please let me know any important update or if you just want to talk. Be safe ?❤
Awwwww? Thank you for supporting me while I’m going through this, and if I need anything I’ll definitely talk to you, I hesitated to ask for help since I was scared how their reaction would be, but I’m gald I did it, now I don’t have to stress as much, and I told most of my friends about my ocd and all of them were really supportive and they were gald I told them. This is gonna be a turning point in life, cause I’ve had this for 2 years and never felt real happiness. Thank you and I hope you overcome this and do many great things in life.
Hey can we connect about this?!
Just thought I’d share my story so far with you all and maybe see if anyone’s had similar stuff :) I had been completely straight my whole life. I’m 18 now but had had multiple girlfriends who I was very much into. I was never into guys. I was very stressed for my exams and ended up going to see Bohemian Rhapsody with some friends to chill. After seeing heaps of gay-Esque things in the film the thought popped into my head “what if I’m gay or bi” and then that’s when it started. (This was 3 months ago) I then found myself unable to hang out with my guy friends because every time I saw them I would get anxious I was attracted to them. I moved past this but I’m still constantly having an internal reasoning battle with myself about wether or not I’m into men. I then noticed a huge lack in sex drive towards women as well which scared me because being into women was a huge part of me. I have never been aroused by or enjoyed thinking about men sexually or romantically though this is what the intrusive thoughts were. This leads me to my main point which is porn. I was a heavy porn user before the ocd and I was starting to find Normal straight porn not as good. I had been watching more kinky shit eg step sibling stuff etc. I have watched gay porn multiple times since the HOCD. **potential trigger/ graphic warning ahead** and had finished both times. It happened very quickly and I just felt terrible after. I tell myself that I finished because of just the pure taboo nature of it and it was what the ocd wanted me to do since whenever I’d tried to arouse myself to men in a non pornographic way nothing had ever worked. Also when I was watching I wasn’t particularly focused on like the men themselves like I would with women when I watched straight porn. It was all very traumatising and I have to keep stopping myself from checking again to see if my reaction changes :( I’ve been meditating a lot and I’m about to start ERP on here and with my psychologist (who diagnosed me with ocd) But yeah just was wondering if anyone had anything similar with the porn thing just so I can figure out if it’s denial or whatever :) I don’t think it’s a coincidence with timing either since this all happened during exams.
Anyone else read about "groinal response" and "arousal non-concordance"? Basically anyone can feel a slight "twinge" of arousal at a random time, but for people with OCD, they immediately latch onto it and think it MEANS something about them. This is how many cases of HOCD, POCD, BOCD, etc begin, I'd imagine. I can have felt something one time 3 years ago and nothing since then, but still be worried it "means" something about me. Or, sometimes that first incident causes repeated intrusive thoughts every time you come in contact with that thing, so it become a self fulfilling prophesy. I can be doing fine for weeks and then suddenly start worrying about one of these again. Anyone else have any experiences similar?
Hi All, I (22F) have been suffering from HOCD for the past three months. I am engaged to the man I want to be with. However, I can't kick OCD. I was recently aroused when looking at a model in lingerie. The lingerie was objectively sexy and I briefly thought about how she was posing for a man with her breasts out. Likewise, I thought about how sexy it would be if I wore that. But, now I'm terrified. If I can get these responses from the female body-not the male body-that must surely mean something. Likewise, I have trouble orgasming during sex and I don't always love making out. But, I really don't think I'm a lesbian? Long story short, I need help getting over this. I'm in college and I can barely study. All I do is worry. I can't even enjoy my engagement at this rate because I'm convinced I'm in denial. This sexual arousal gives me incredible amounts of anxiety, especially considering I have been turned on by stuff like this in the past. If anyone has any helpful words, please let me know. I am not seeking reassurance, but I felt this backstory was necessary to explain why this fear has been so potent. There may be some real attraction here, which terrifies me. I don't know what to do. I want to enjoy life and improve sex with my fiance but I'm feeling hopeless. If anyone has any words of advice, it would be deeply appreciated.
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