Can anyone relate to having HOCD thlughts (or any form of sexual orientation OCD) and getting aroused by them? I don't mean a groinal response (tingles, twinges, etc.) or arousal-non concordance (when you're groing get's aroused but your mind doesn't), or confusing stress with arousal... I literally mean getting aroused (both mentally and physiologically) by unwanted thoughts in repeated occasions (frequently) when you test yourself? Basically like if it was a sexual fantasy, with the exception that it's a torture that you have found through compulsions. I never wanted to think any of this and I still hate and wouldn't do any of the content of my thoughts. But this happens to me and makes me feel SOOOOO in denial and anxious even though I've never had sex, interest, attraction or desires for a man (or a transexual, which is my other HOCD topic).

You just perfectly described what we call the 'groinal syndrome'! Don't worry about whether you're experiencing the same as everyone else - that particular symptom manifests differently in everyone, and can change over time especially after a long-term OCD theme has essentially trained your body to have a physical response to thoughts.

This is a really common thing for HOCD sufferers... HOCD can send you all kinds of false sensations , feelings , or emotions , they don’t have to be groinal responses. Many people can be turned on by things they aren’t actually attracted to , specifically because the material is sexual in nature. That feeling , regardless of if you’re attracted to what you see , can cause you to become mentally aroused too , and just want to do something without it being with what you see.

My god... I am so sorry to hear this, I really am. How old are you? Please, tell your mom that OCD is a neurilogical disease and you can't just control it on your own. That you NEED the help of a specialized therapist. Tell her there are some who might be open to allow you to get the service even by therapy sessions online at a reduced fee if she can't afford it. If you have no other option, I would go to the Social Services professional at your school and tell them about it. I'm sorry you're in this position. But you need the help someway

No, no... sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. By saying I flagged I meant that I put an automatic notification in this conversation, so when you write the app will inform me. Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. I just want to know that you will be fine. Take care ?

Im happy to hear that. I hope you recover soon. Is gonna get better ?thank you too!

HOCD thoughts*

What do you mean by "getting aroused" though? The groinal response etc etc are essentially when you have unwanted physical sensations along with intrusive thoughts. If you "feel" something and panic about it, that can be considered a groinal symptom of OCD. If you're genuinely enjoying it, that's different.

That's the thing: is paradoxical. I enjoy them, but I don't. They are sexual to me, and they arouse me. But I've never been attracted to them and I hate them. And they didn't started for "curiosity" or anything. They startded as instrusive and unwanted thoughts that where disgusting to me. They started being groinals and unwanted sensations. But I tested myself in many ways until they started being arousing. It's weird and hard to believe maybe, but this is my story, this is my OCD, and it's true. I get scared to think I'm the one HOCD case that turned out to be true... So yes, even being an erection, it's an unwanted sensation to me. And i hate it.

So what I mean by "I enjoy them" is that I get turned on by some. But of course I don't enjoy thinkin of them and of course I want them to stop. I never wanted any of this. And in 11 years with HOCD i've never been slightly interested in acting out my OCD thlughta. Not by any stretch of imagination

Okay, so being aroused is a groinal response. It's just about whether it's enjoyable/wanted or not. Only you can really say how you feel about your response. But nobody is going to make you act on intrusive thoughts that you don't want to act on!

If arousal is a groinal response, I can assure you I react to it with exactly tye same panic, even more, than the panic every hocd sufferer has when they feel a "twinge or tingle". When my hocd started, I fetl them too a lot and I wanted to die. Today I react the same, but to my erectiona, since my groinals have escalated to that. Even if a thought is sexually stimulsting to me, be mentally or physiologically, I assure you: I don't want it and I'm not attracted to it. That's exactly why I suffer so much. If I wanted it it wouldn't be OCD. And if I was gay in denial I think I would just know. Actually, my thoughts happen with anyone randomnly. Is not like I go out to the street and see a good looking guy and go like "let me have a sexual thlught with him". My mind does it for herself, with anyone. It happens even with my best friends, it has happened with teenagers... i just think i would shoot myself when this happens. It hurts so much ?

Thank you guys. It really makes me feel better. I genuinely hate my thoughts as much as anyone who doesn't feel arousal to them, as much as anyone with HOCD. But like my therapist says, every ocd story is unique on their own. My story includes a lot of porn consumption to the things my ocd pushed me to through testing. And above all, lot's of hours compulsively trying to imagine "sexy" gay thoughts. So maybe I shouldn'tbe surprised if they arouse me mentally, physiologically or whatever. Groinals escalated to erections... but one thing remains stable: I hate this and today I suffer even more than 11 years ago. And I still haven't feel attracted to a guy or trans person.

I've had many different ones. I can't tell if I've had such. But the specific content of the thought varies by individual to individual. You shouldn't be cincerned for that. If it's unwanted and intrusive, that's the key to ignore it.

Search for a therapist specialized in OCD. You will get better, but you NEED the treatment.

Yes

I'm sorry to hear that. Have you talked to your parents? It is extremely important that you get the help you need. You shouldn't handdle OCD by yourself or just through forums

Neurological*

GummyDrop, I have flagged this conversation. If you don't mind, please let me know in the nex days/weeks if you find some help. It really breaks my heart to know you're going through this and that your mom told you to seek help elsewhere.

Hi GummyDrop. I'm sorry I've experienced problems with the app. I didn't see the notification. I would've happily stay online when you asked. How are you today? How is it going with your mom? I think she may be thinking that you being concerned for a homosexual topic is the problem. So she may see it as an identity matter, like mine did the first time I told her. But OCD is not about the topic. Is the disorder that keeps you into a loop of anxiety and doing compulsions to get rid of it while they only make it worse. I think it could help if you tell her about the disorder in itself in additio to the topic that concerns you. And tell her that is as serious as any other mental health problem, like depression.

Has anything gotten better with your mom? How are you feeling? Remember OCD is a liar :)

There's no need to tell everyone the specifics if you don't want to. OCD is still OCD... I'm more concerned about your mom. You need the service, and I would insist in trying to find a way to get it. Did you tell at school? Is there any other family member that can help? They need to understand is not a sexual identity crisis, but I neurological disorder.

Oh I'm SO SO happy you're gonna get the help you need. It really made me sad to think of you, a teenager, going through this. I've been living with it for so long that I know how bad it can be without the right help. Sorry for the initial scare when you thought coos would come to your house jajaj. I think I wanted to say I "bookmarked" the conversation jajaj english is not my first language. BTW, Congratulations on being brave and for seeking help. I wish you the best of luck. Please let me know any important update or if you just want to talk. Be safe ?❤

Hey can we connect about this?!