How do you manage to keep a routine for yourself?

For years I’ve been struggling with trying to put together a routine for myself. I always end up filling my time with things that pertain to others. I see my friends all day, I like to see my boyfriend a lot (even though it’s only a weekend to weekend thing), and I’ll scroll social media. When I go on social media I tend to look at people who is no longer in my life. With this, I’ve come to a realization recently that I’ve put others over my own needs. I barely take my meds regularly because I feel like I’m constantly busy at peoples events, hanging out, or work. I don’t want kids but I’ve grown up in a family the idolizes the nuclear lifestyle despite not having it, and my boyfriend wants kids, so I feel like I’ve put myself in a position to lose my idea of what I want. Sometimes I don’t even know if I want to be with a man. I feel sometimes that people will leave me if I just do what will work for me. I could put down my drink and I think of how it will affect others, not myself. I’ve always wanted to travel and get out but I know my boyfriend wants to stay with his family so I put it on the back burner. I’ve started to get anxious about me losing out on my life and what I want to do. It makes me think I’ve always lost out on so many opportunities. I want to try to start small. Making sure I have a good routine for myself that I won’t break and then try to apply that discipline to the rest of my life. I’m just not sure how.

Username: NicaNica

Date posted: 20d ago

Look into the book Atomic Habits. It’ll help you out with forming habits/routines.

Username: CarefaireCarefaire

Date posted: 19d ago

@Nica I meant to respond to you but I’ll definitely look into atomic habits!

Username: aeoslyaeosly

Date posted: 20d ago

i would suggest letting yourself gravitate towards hobbies you are interested in that are relatively easy to learn or fun to learn as a way to get to know yourself more, and learning more about topics you are interested in. take time to really think about what you picture for yourself and what would truly make you happy, and don’t let others dictate your life and sense of self. remember that raising children is a massive form of self sacrifice and requires a LOT of effort and learning and dedication and its extremely easy to psychologically mess a child up for life without proper knowledge of how to raise children. and having children is not the key to happiness for everyone. getting to know yourself and what would truly make you happy and developing a strong sense of individuality is so important!learning to truly love yourself is an amazing journey :) i just think it’s so important to prioritize yourself and your happiness and i hope life treats you kindly.

Username: CarefaireCarefaire

Date posted: 19d ago

@aeosly Thank you so much and I hope life treats you kindly as well :,) it’s tough out here but not impossible! I’ll definitely look into atomic habits!

Username: MichelleVMichelleV

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 9d ago

Try starting small, and build up to different routines. If you struggle with remembering to take your medicine, try taking it early in the day or before bed (unless it has to be taken at a specific time). You can set a reminder on your phone, or try an app. My friend uses the Medisafe app, and it can also be set up to alert a friend as a second reminder. Set small goals, and take note of how you feel. Do you feel better or accomplished, or did the goal not work for you? And use that to guide yourself forward. Talking to someone for accountability may help - I used to do this with my ERP homework. I would tell my friend I was going to do my homework and get off my phone, and let her know when I was done. Set realistic expectations too-it’s easy to set hard goals and get discouraged when they don’t work out. And reward yourself when you follow your routine. I also scroll on my phone a lot. I try to be off by a certain time, or I’ll put my phone out of reach while I do something else like read or watch tv. There is a lot of advice out there on routines, so take time to find what works for you, and give yourself grace. Routines aren’t a one size fits all, but you’ll get to where you want to be.

Username: MichaelK

Date posted: 5y ago

How do people get out of bed early in the morning and do the shit they need to do and go out every day? When I don’t have morning classes I usually stay in bed until 1 and I’m still not in a state to do anything. I just don’t understand how I can see people on Snapchat at a party 10 hours ago then I wake up and they’re at a tailgate, like I can’t even bring myself to go to a single party (both because of anxiety and because I don’t enjoy it, I don’t drink), how does anyone even have the energy to do that? I get exhausted by going about everyday life mainly stuck in my dorm for most of the day. It’s so hard to find people to relate to and connect with when basically the only thing people do on campus is drink and go to clubs and parties, or someone doesn’t then usually they are someone who quite frankly I don’t want to associate myself with because they are just to weird for me (no offense to them, just not for me). Like yea I’m not normal but I’m somewhere in between, in a place where it feels like there really aren’t many others like me who enjoy the same things I do. Although recently I’ve been so caught up in my own head that it’s getting hard to even tell what are the things I enjoy.

Username: brrrreetie

Date posted: 2y ago

Midlife crisis

I have been through a ton of life transitions and I’m worried that I’m having some sort of crisis. Like keep questioning what is it all for? Like why does it matter? I’m in advertising and I don’t really feel Satisfied with the job which is new btw. But I keep connecting my difficulties and anxiety from switching jobs ( not 100% by choice) with life. Like what I’m I even doing? Is there anything that would make me satisfied? I’m googling like crazy to find certainty. I know I shouldn’t. I have my relationship but I’m constantly doubting if I just settled - enter ROCD. My kid makes me so happy but I don’t want my life to revolve around theirs. All my friends are busy doing their own thing so I just feel Disconnected. I’m 41 and I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do. The best part of all of this is that on paper and social media it looks like I have it all. And if I do, why isn’t it good enough?

Username: afaf0073

Date posted: 2y ago

Anybody else deal with this?

Has anybody out here ever been so depressed and anxious that you feel as if you’ve completely let your life go? For example: I haven’t gotten a haircut in months, I wear the same clothes all the time (no motivation to wash them even though it’s downstairs,) my apartment is an unbearable mess (all my life before this disease I was neat as a pin,) my mailbox is probably flooded from not checking it for weeks, I’ve been putting off projects I’d like to do that I know will make me feel better, my to-do list has stayed stagnant for over half the year, I never wear make up or do my nails like I used to… I feel like a terrible bum. Everyday I just sit on the couch and pray to survive the day and then it ends there. Oh, and I’m sure my car looks terrible, as I haven’t been the one driving it lately. I’m also always stressed about money and hang onto every penny I possibly can even if it means taking away necessary things. I feel like I’m going to explode. :( If any of you have ever let everything go before, how did you go back to normal/bring it all back together? I’m afraid I’m going to live this way forever. Any advice would be so incredibly appreciated. I would be so ecstatic to hear your story — we may be able to help each other even. Thank you so much.

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