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I think it is pretty cool that you are observing your thoughts and actions even though it's an awful time for you right now. You're showing up for yourself even while things feel so uncertain. You may or may not have OCD, you may or may not be experiencing depersonalization or derealization, but you are doing the work. Keep pushing. Rest when you need rest. :)

Be dramatic, life is a show even if you're the main character, side character, a cat, a tree. You know with only what you know now so yeah you're allowed to say you have OCD especially if you're diagnosed. What I mean is, there's also an opposite that can give perspective I was diagnosed years ago to wear hearing aids as I was deaf, but I knew I could hear still, but I requested accommodations despite feeling I wasn't really deaf nor comfortable of taking someone else's status that may not fit me. But I'm not taking it away from anyone else, and the accommodation had helped me so so much. Then recently another professional said I am not deaf when I was getting retested to get new hearing aids so I was very confused as we both never personally came across anyone who got better with hearing, but it does happen. I still get accommodation as it doesn't really give back or to anyone who may need it because it was specifically made for me and it still helped improve my life quality. So that being said until you are told you do or do not have such disorders or barriers, the help you can get is not linear to requiring such criterias as most help can be used with most people. Diagnosis just helps tailor to focus on a specific topic to refine a generic coping tool or healing practice so it would be more effective. Such as with OCD does feel better with information, however it's effective if it's basic facts and not about soul searching full exploring as that's the same as digging for a diamond in a trash. Too much irrelevant what if in the way that isn't about you and OCD tries to make every knowledge as if it's a metal detector that's broken and tries to tell you what you are and are not and then switch sides. More does not always mean better. So take your time to learn about your true self, values, and who you want to become. Your life is dedicated to yourself, disorders are along for the ride but you're the driver. The barriers are just extra noises that are bored in the car.