Anonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
ReptarroxReptarrox
- Date posted
- 5y
Hey. Had this happen to me too. It's in the past tho. Why spend time worrying about somthing you think you might have done but don't remember. Head up you got this
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
Thanks but it scares me because she’s like my bestfriend and I don’t want to be lesbian or bi and have done it
AnxietyGuyAnxietyGuy
- Date posted
- 5y
VERY good point Reptarrox, I’ve thought this very same thing. Accepting uncertainty about things you may have done seems to the only way to move forward past anxiety filled ruminating.
obsessively_obsessiveobsessively_...
- Date posted
- 5y
Even if you did, so what? Firstly, your friend doesn't have to know. Secondly, there's nothing terrible in being attracted to women - unless you're homophobic, in which case the biggest problem would be you shaming yourself. That doesn't mean you can't still be friends with this girl though. And finally, had you masturbated on your friends picture, you would remember. That's seems wildly out of character for you so it's not something you'd forget or even do in the first place. Your OCD is just making stuff up and lying to you.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
I know I just feel like I’m in denial
obsessively_obsessiveobsessively_...
- Date posted
- 5y
@cloudqueen "I did [something] and don't remember it bc my brain blocked it out somehow" Is a classic OCD tactic to make you doubt yourself. But ask yourself, EVEN IF you m-ed to the pic, what are the consequences? You're the only one who knows. There's nothing shameful about it. Could it be that you're catastrophising the consequences here? In any case, you didn't do anything bad. Be kind to yourself and good luck.
ginacginac
- Date posted
- 5y
Are you familiar with sexual orientation OCD? Because that’s what this person is dealing with. It has nothing to do with homophobia. Please educate yourself on different types of OCD before passing judgement on people, please!
obsessively_obsessiveobsessively_...
- Date posted
- 5y
@ginac I said that if even if op was lesbian/bi, which seems to be the fear, the worst possible consequence would be self-shaming, nothing more. Can you tell me where exactly did I express judgement?
obsessively_obsessiveobsessively_...
- Date posted
- 5y
@ginac To be clear, by "shaming yourself" I meant internalized feeling of shame, NOT shaming yourself in the eyes of other people. I thought it was clear from the context bc I'm not judging anyone here. If it was unclear - my bad, English isn't my native language.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
@obsessively_obsessive I’m scared it is internalised homophobia and scared that I’ve known all my life or something
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
@ginac Yeah I’m scared because I’m still a virgin and I haven’t seen a penis yet and I find girls bodies pretty and I’m scared that means I am
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
@cloudqueen And also I get like a happy response and a gronial response when I yhink about a girls body and then I go full panic mode
AnxietyGuyAnxietyGuy
- Date posted
- 5y
I don’t understand? I wasn’t passing judgment at all. I just merely meant that with my OCD I struggle with the strange concept of worrying about things that I wonder “did that really happen, or was it just a made up thought”. It’s been through my own personal research that leads me to believe that this mental process I just mentioned seems to be present in multiple forms of OCD and I think through this understanding the OCD community as a whole may be able to unravel the mysteries and potential solutions of this disorder. I simply believe knowledge is power. I view everybody on this forum as my friends in the struggle. I just wanted to set things straight. Thank you.
ReptarroxReptarrox
- Date posted
- 5y
I didn't think you were being judgemental at all...
ginacginac
- Date posted
- 5y
I wasn’t responding to your comment.
AnxietyGuyAnxietyGuy
- Date posted
- 5y
Thanks Reptarrox, I didn’t think I was either. Thanks for that.
AnxietyGuyAnxietyGuy
- Date posted
- 5y
Ohh ok. My apologies.
ReptarroxReptarrox
- Date posted
- 5y
That's how it works. It's gunna tell you you might have done all this you could have this or that, or it's your fault. But it's up to you if you let it tell you so. You think you did something wrong but your worried. You know that's not how you see your friend. But that's also where it makes you question everything. But your not your thoughts. there's a future ahead for you to be better and be happy.
Related posts
King silly
- Date posted
- 24w
Urgent :( POCD
I feel like a really terrible person right now, I keep replaying this, and no matter what I can’t remember what happened, it’s like my brain is purposely not letting me think about it. Without wasting any more time, I’ll get into it. Basically, I was at Walmart, and looking at cards with My Dad, I saw anime ones, took pictures of them for my sister, even ones that were anime kids, because I did my best to ignore it, so I looked at a Hunter x Hunter card, I stared at the black haired kid, being all like “ I’m glad I’m not having any thoughts about this, I’m glad I’m having normal thoughts and not thinking anything” I felt happy, then as soon as I looked at killua (white haired kid), everything collapsed. I don’t know what happened, my brain won’t let me remember. But I’ll give bits and pieces. I think that I had false attraction, and something in my head, said “oh, I wouldn’t mind being attracted.” “He is attractive, and I’m attracted to him.” “I remember a girl thinking he is attractive and he is” “ It’s not wrong to be attracted” “ I don’t care about his age” .. something along the lines of that, and now I’m panicking super hard, because I’m worried if I said those things, I feel like I ruined my life that I’m a pe//do and deserve nothing, idk what to do, I feel terrible… I remember when I was having the intrusive thoughts, I was panicking and was worrying, but it kept playing out, and I kept hearing things talk, it was drawn out too long, that now I feel convinced that I was saying those things, I tested it too, and I can confirm that I didn’t say that, but why am I still not convinced? I know I wouldn’t say those things, I was hoping the complete opposite would happen. My brain kept making me feel like it wasn’t wrong and it was okay. Maybe that’s why I’m so convinced I did that. I’m just spiraling super bad right now, I don’t know what to do or what to think, I don’t know if I said that or not… even if I did test it, I genuinely just feel like I said it, and I wanted it, because I still feel uncertain, I still feel like I said it, part of me just wants to be like oh I did and so I can move on, not because I agree with it, I just don’t know what else to do… I’m really scared.
Anonymousssssss
- Date posted
- 20w
Idk what to do
Hey yall, having a tough time. I’ve been struggling with intrusive thoughts while I self pleasure and it GENUIENLY feels like I enjoy them for whatever reason. And then now about half an hour later it’s like okay it’s a sexual thought but I might not actually like it. Idk I just really hate myself, because I basically genuinely liked it in the moment
Blueberrycows
- Date posted
- 17w
Real event having brain fog don’t remember subtype
Mentions pocd Tw Tw Tw Tw Tw Tw Tw Tw My brain told me I looked up cp and I know I definitely did not but my brain played a memory of me looking it up and being on a website … I know it’s from a TikTok video about Africa and saving kids from slavery that the thought appeared from but still it’s terrifying I didn’t look it up
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