Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

I’m scared I masterbated to one of my friends photos but I can’t really remember

Reptarrox

Date posted: 5y

Hey. Had this happen to me too. It's in the past tho. Why spend time worrying about somthing you think you might have done but don't remember. Head up you got this

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

Thanks but it scares me because she’s like my bestfriend and I don’t want to be lesbian or bi and have done it

AnxietyGuy

Date posted: 5y

VERY good point Reptarrox, I’ve thought this very same thing. Accepting uncertainty about things you may have done seems to the only way to move forward past anxiety filled ruminating.

obsessively_...

Date posted: 5y

Even if you did, so what? Firstly, your friend doesn't have to know. Secondly, there's nothing terrible in being attracted to women - unless you're homophobic, in which case the biggest problem would be you shaming yourself. That doesn't mean you can't still be friends with this girl though. And finally, had you masturbated on your friends picture, you would remember. That's seems wildly out of character for you so it's not something you'd forget or even do in the first place. Your OCD is just making stuff up and lying to you.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

I know I just feel like I’m in denial

obsessively_...

Date posted: 5y

@cloudqueen "I did [something] and don't remember it bc my brain blocked it out somehow" Is a classic OCD tactic to make you doubt yourself. But ask yourself, EVEN IF you m-ed to the pic, what are the consequences? You're the only one who knows. There's nothing shameful about it. Could it be that you're catastrophising the consequences here? In any case, you didn't do anything bad. Be kind to yourself and good luck.

ginac

Date posted: 5y

Are you familiar with sexual orientation OCD? Because that’s what this person is dealing with. It has nothing to do with homophobia. Please educate yourself on different types of OCD before passing judgement on people, please!

obsessively_...

Date posted: 5y

@ginac I said that if even if op was lesbian/bi, which seems to be the fear, the worst possible consequence would be self-shaming, nothing more. Can you tell me where exactly did I express judgement?

obsessively_...

Date posted: 5y

@ginac To be clear, by "shaming yourself" I meant internalized feeling of shame, NOT shaming yourself in the eyes of other people. I thought it was clear from the context bc I'm not judging anyone here. If it was unclear - my bad, English isn't my native language.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@obsessively_obsessive I’m scared it is internalised homophobia and scared that I’ve known all my life or something

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@ginac Yeah I’m scared because I’m still a virgin and I haven’t seen a penis yet and I find girls bodies pretty and I’m scared that means I am

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@cloudqueen And also I get like a happy response and a gronial response when I yhink about a girls body and then I go full panic mode

AnxietyGuy

Date posted: 5y

I don’t understand? I wasn’t passing judgment at all. I just merely meant that with my OCD I struggle with the strange concept of worrying about things that I wonder “did that really happen, or was it just a made up thought”. It’s been through my own personal research that leads me to believe that this mental process I just mentioned seems to be present in multiple forms of OCD and I think through this understanding the OCD community as a whole may be able to unravel the mysteries and potential solutions of this disorder. I simply believe knowledge is power. I view everybody on this forum as my friends in the struggle. I just wanted to set things straight. Thank you.

Reptarrox

Date posted: 5y

I didn't think you were being judgemental at all...

ginac

Date posted: 5y

I wasn’t responding to your comment.

AnxietyGuy

Date posted: 5y

Thanks Reptarrox, I didn’t think I was either. Thanks for that.

AnxietyGuy

Date posted: 5y

Ohh ok. My apologies.

Reptarrox

Date posted: 5y

That's how it works. It's gunna tell you you might have done all this you could have this or that, or it's your fault. But it's up to you if you let it tell you so. You think you did something wrong but your worried. You know that's not how you see your friend. But that's also where it makes you question everything. But your not your thoughts. there's a future ahead for you to be better and be happy.

Anonymous

Date posted: 24w

Thinking u did something u not sure if u did

Hey guys I just wanted to talk about something I was feeling I feel so trapped and terrible I have a bad pornography addiction even back then idk what to do I'm 17 years old but basically I looked at some very obscure things on the Internet ranging from hentai or just even more messed up things when I was younger I think maybe early teens I remember randomly just started remembering things I saw now I do not remember if I acted on them or jerked off to them idk what to do I feel so ashamed trapped I feel like I can't enjoy life anymore for what I've done I been introduced to porn when I was young idk what to do I seem alot back then some memories pop certain ones I don't remember if I had pleasured myself to it it feels like I did I have so much shame if I did but idk what to do

Anonymous

Date posted: 22w

Arousal to something you don't like feeling like u did something terrible

Hey guys recently I been facing anxiety because I have a fear that I acted on something I know I didn't do but it feels real because it felt like I had attraction and arousal to a younger photo of a ex gf I feel so weird feel so anxious I need help Idk what to do

Anonymous

Date posted: 21w

Having a erection while simultaneously having bad memories of past actions

Hey guys I'm 17 years old I had experience with OCD I looked trans pornography and femboy stuff I'm straight I didn't jerk off to it I was really only looking at it in the past I have but for some reason I just felt like looking at it and when I did I did experience arousal not only that while I had a boner I simultaneously was thinking of memories and bad actions I had in 4th grade with another boy I myself not a homosexual I was a kid I did something with another boy I regret it I had that thought in my head lingering there in my head but I noticed pre ejaculation and now I feel anxiety because now it feels like I was intrigued by the thought it feels like it is it was probably to the video visual stimulus but it's hard I didn't jerk off to it at all I was really just looking idk what to do it feels like I did experience it to the video but also my thoughts say to the thought idk what to do can someone shed light on this

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

I’m scared I masterbated to one of my friends photos but I can’t really remember

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community