- Username
- Anonymous
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Hey. Had this happen to me too. It's in the past tho. Why spend time worrying about somthing you think you might have done but don't remember. Head up you got this
Thanks but it scares me because she’s like my bestfriend and I don’t want to be lesbian or bi and have done it
VERY good point Reptarrox, I’ve thought this very same thing. Accepting uncertainty about things you may have done seems to the only way to move forward past anxiety filled ruminating.
Even if you did, so what? Firstly, your friend doesn't have to know. Secondly, there's nothing terrible in being attracted to women - unless you're homophobic, in which case the biggest problem would be you shaming yourself. That doesn't mean you can't still be friends with this girl though. And finally, had you masturbated on your friends picture, you would remember. That's seems wildly out of character for you so it's not something you'd forget or even do in the first place. Your OCD is just making stuff up and lying to you.
I know I just feel like I’m in denial
@cloudqueen "I did [something] and don't remember it bc my brain blocked it out somehow" Is a classic OCD tactic to make you doubt yourself. But ask yourself, EVEN IF you m-ed to the pic, what are the consequences? You're the only one who knows. There's nothing shameful about it. Could it be that you're catastrophising the consequences here? In any case, you didn't do anything bad. Be kind to yourself and good luck.
Are you familiar with sexual orientation OCD? Because that’s what this person is dealing with. It has nothing to do with homophobia. Please educate yourself on different types of OCD before passing judgement on people, please!
@ginac I said that if even if op was lesbian/bi, which seems to be the fear, the worst possible consequence would be self-shaming, nothing more. Can you tell me where exactly did I express judgement?
@ginac To be clear, by "shaming yourself" I meant internalized feeling of shame, NOT shaming yourself in the eyes of other people. I thought it was clear from the context bc I'm not judging anyone here. If it was unclear - my bad, English isn't my native language.
@obsessively_obsessive I’m scared it is internalised homophobia and scared that I’ve known all my life or something
@ginac Yeah I’m scared because I’m still a virgin and I haven’t seen a penis yet and I find girls bodies pretty and I’m scared that means I am
@cloudqueen And also I get like a happy response and a gronial response when I yhink about a girls body and then I go full panic mode
I don’t understand? I wasn’t passing judgment at all. I just merely meant that with my OCD I struggle with the strange concept of worrying about things that I wonder “did that really happen, or was it just a made up thought”. It’s been through my own personal research that leads me to believe that this mental process I just mentioned seems to be present in multiple forms of OCD and I think through this understanding the OCD community as a whole may be able to unravel the mysteries and potential solutions of this disorder. I simply believe knowledge is power. I view everybody on this forum as my friends in the struggle. I just wanted to set things straight. Thank you.
I didn't think you were being judgemental at all...
I wasn’t responding to your comment.
Thanks Reptarrox, I didn’t think I was either. Thanks for that.
Ohh ok. My apologies.
That's how it works. It's gunna tell you you might have done all this you could have this or that, or it's your fault. But it's up to you if you let it tell you so. You think you did something wrong but your worried. You know that's not how you see your friend. But that's also where it makes you question everything. But your not your thoughts. there's a future ahead for you to be better and be happy.
help please. Was watching porn and masturbating. Looked up a specific physical attribute that reminded me of my ex, curly hair and watched one. I masturbated to it then all of a sudden thoughts started to attack me like what if this was actually her. Then out of nowhere i thought what if this was her and her brother. Then now its just bothering me to confess to her. We talk sometimes and i really dont want to cause whats the point we r over and thats just fucked up But i feel more bad bc even having that thought and it made me :/ i still continued to masturbate bc i didnt feel satisfied enougj, i mean obviously not to the thought of her and her brother cause thats weird but i was masturbating while that thought was in my head and it feels wrong and makes me feel guilt or icky.
I’m scared I had an orgasm to an intrusive thought of some disgusting image I saw on tiktok. If I did I don’t think I can live with myself and now I wanna take my own life. My mind was so full of intrusive thoughts it was crazy so I really don’t know what I had an orgasm to
Hey guys, I'm really scared, someone PLEASE reply (POCD 18+) Okay, so tonight I was beginning to feel better about my obsessions and began to feel like maybe I was actually making progress. But I feel terrified rn, I'm scared because I used to watch hentai and cartoon stuff when I was younger, I'm 19, I would look up certain anime stuff or cartoons, but I started feeling happy that I probably stopped when I was 15. But now I'm terrified, I used to watch the tv show Big Mouth on Netflix but stopped after I started feeling uncomfortable with the show since it is really graphic. But I'm scared that I may have watched porn about the show while I was watching it. I don't really have strong memories about it but I'm terrified because that would have been when I was 16. I'm so scared, my friend said that "worst-case scenario, say you did, it's just a drawing at the end of the day" but I'm really scared. I'm really grossed out, I don't know what to do, I was just starting to maybe feel better but I don't even know anymore, I'm terrified, what do you guys think???
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