- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Hey. Had this happen to me too. It's in the past tho. Why spend time worrying about somthing you think you might have done but don't remember. Head up you got this
- Date posted
- 5y
Thanks but it scares me because she’s like my bestfriend and I don’t want to be lesbian or bi and have done it
- Date posted
- 5y
VERY good point Reptarrox, I’ve thought this very same thing. Accepting uncertainty about things you may have done seems to the only way to move forward past anxiety filled ruminating.
- Date posted
- 5y
Even if you did, so what? Firstly, your friend doesn't have to know. Secondly, there's nothing terrible in being attracted to women - unless you're homophobic, in which case the biggest problem would be you shaming yourself. That doesn't mean you can't still be friends with this girl though. And finally, had you masturbated on your friends picture, you would remember. That's seems wildly out of character for you so it's not something you'd forget or even do in the first place. Your OCD is just making stuff up and lying to you.
- Date posted
- 5y
I know I just feel like I’m in denial
- Date posted
- 5y
@cloudqueen "I did [something] and don't remember it bc my brain blocked it out somehow" Is a classic OCD tactic to make you doubt yourself. But ask yourself, EVEN IF you m-ed to the pic, what are the consequences? You're the only one who knows. There's nothing shameful about it. Could it be that you're catastrophising the consequences here? In any case, you didn't do anything bad. Be kind to yourself and good luck.
- Date posted
- 5y
Are you familiar with sexual orientation OCD? Because that’s what this person is dealing with. It has nothing to do with homophobia. Please educate yourself on different types of OCD before passing judgement on people, please!
- Date posted
- 5y
@ginac I said that if even if op was lesbian/bi, which seems to be the fear, the worst possible consequence would be self-shaming, nothing more. Can you tell me where exactly did I express judgement?
- Date posted
- 5y
@ginac To be clear, by "shaming yourself" I meant internalized feeling of shame, NOT shaming yourself in the eyes of other people. I thought it was clear from the context bc I'm not judging anyone here. If it was unclear - my bad, English isn't my native language.
- Date posted
- 5y
@obsessively_obsessive I’m scared it is internalised homophobia and scared that I’ve known all my life or something
- Date posted
- 5y
@ginac Yeah I’m scared because I’m still a virgin and I haven’t seen a penis yet and I find girls bodies pretty and I’m scared that means I am
- Date posted
- 5y
@cloudqueen And also I get like a happy response and a gronial response when I yhink about a girls body and then I go full panic mode
- Date posted
- 5y
I don’t understand? I wasn’t passing judgment at all. I just merely meant that with my OCD I struggle with the strange concept of worrying about things that I wonder “did that really happen, or was it just a made up thought”. It’s been through my own personal research that leads me to believe that this mental process I just mentioned seems to be present in multiple forms of OCD and I think through this understanding the OCD community as a whole may be able to unravel the mysteries and potential solutions of this disorder. I simply believe knowledge is power. I view everybody on this forum as my friends in the struggle. I just wanted to set things straight. Thank you.
- Date posted
- 5y
I didn't think you were being judgemental at all...
- Date posted
- 5y
I wasn’t responding to your comment.
- Date posted
- 5y
Thanks Reptarrox, I didn’t think I was either. Thanks for that.
- Date posted
- 5y
Ohh ok. My apologies.
- Date posted
- 5y
That's how it works. It's gunna tell you you might have done all this you could have this or that, or it's your fault. But it's up to you if you let it tell you so. You think you did something wrong but your worried. You know that's not how you see your friend. But that's also where it makes you question everything. But your not your thoughts. there's a future ahead for you to be better and be happy.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
Hey guys recently I been facing anxiety because I have a fear that I acted on something I know I didn't do but it feels real because it felt like I had attraction and arousal to a younger photo of a ex gf I feel so weird feel so anxious I need help Idk what to do
- Older adults with OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- False Memory OCD
- OCD newbies
- "Pure" OCD
- Existential OCD
- NOCD Therapy Alumni
- POCD
- Date posted
- 23w
Hey guys I'm 17 years old I had experience with OCD I looked trans pornography and femboy stuff I'm straight I didn't jerk off to it I was really only looking at it in the past I have but for some reason I just felt like looking at it and when I did I did experience arousal not only that while I had a boner I simultaneously was thinking of memories and bad actions I had in 4th grade with another boy I myself not a homosexual I was a kid I did something with another boy I regret it I had that thought in my head lingering there in my head but I noticed pre ejaculation and now I feel anxiety because now it feels like I was intrigued by the thought it feels like it is it was probably to the video visual stimulus but it's hard I didn't jerk off to it at all I was really just looking idk what to do it feels like I did experience it to the video but also my thoughts say to the thought idk what to do can someone shed light on this
- Students with OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- OCD newbies
- False Memory OCD
- Real Events OCD
- "Pure" OCD
- POCD
- NOCD Therapy Alumni
- Date posted
- 7w
help. it all happened too very fast. i was having a random b*ner, and i wanted to stop it by forcing an er*ction so it would go down afterwards, i had also seen a yt short of cyberpunk 2077 phantom liberty, in which a beautiful redheaded character appears, and i had random thought abt how maybe she wouldn't be truly that pretty and it was just make up. i imagined a scenario in which i had an okay looking girlfriend but that would look very hot with make up on, and i thought that was the perfect scenario to release the b*ner by momentarily forcing an erection and as i did that i remembered a highschool crush i had of a girl older than me that i found very beautiful and i distinctly remember being excited to see her with make up on, and this memory associated immediately. it went like this -> imagine girlfriend that is beautiful with make up on as i prepare to have an er*ction -> this reminds me just like that time in highschool -> the positive memory of my crush appears as i force an er*ction to happen at the same time without thinking too much (this all happens in a span of a millisec) i don't know how but my brain didn't register that memory as a threat, i had forgotten the context, it didn't even cross my mind that it happened years ago in highschool, i just had this memory. now im worried that i committed a horrible disgusting act. the erection wasn't caused by the memory of the crush, i planned it to happen with a safe image and that image of the crush appeared as i remembered and it didn't register it as a threat and this just happened; because i don't believe i was aroused by the memory, i was just remember that she was pretty. i don't know if it was just coincidence. it wasn't intentional, but now im disgusted at myself. there are 3 possibilities: 1. i already had made the conscious decision to force an erection from the scenario before and as the memory appeared, as it all happened in a millisecond, i didn't have enough time to process it with its due context and i didnt perceive that memory as triggering or something inappropriate and for my brain it was okay to be in the background while the er*ction happened. 2. it happened in one second, the conscious decision was already made from the scenario before so the er*ction randomly happened during the remembrance 3. worst case: in the moment of the er*ction as i remembered the crush i put myself in those shoes of the young me and as the memory happened very fast i forgot the context and the distance of the period frame in which had happened (long ago) and since i remembered her being older than me i still perceived in that fragment of the memory that way, and since i was in the memory itself i found her attractive normally, indistinguishably and separated from the present time, and for that split second i perceived her normally as if i was attracted to a girl in my present time, it literally felt a "normal" perception of a girl i liked and i didn't realise it wasn't the case; and my mind since it lacked the necessary context it allowed it to be non dangerous and not wrong to force an erection, and i realised it was a mistake only after it happened hence the panic... so it all happened before processing the context of the time in which had happen that would result as inappropriate. im afraid that the 3. is what happened and that it is unacceptable.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond