Damn it. I've been doing so well. Just got up to put the kids to bed and the wife was washing up. The boiler switched on and I instantly saw it explode. I walked upstairs and can still the floor shaking where it's going to collapse. Went to the toilet and could feel it getting lower and lower as it fell through the floor. Still got to have a shower before bed and worried is going to fall through the floor :(. Trying hard not to cry as the kids are about. But wasnt expecting this sudden rush. Feel sick, legs are weak. Can't breath properly. Just want to run away from it all :(

It feels so real. I can feel the house vibrating, like it's about to collapse. Am I actually going insane?

@Riso123 You could be having auditory or maybe sensory hallucinations. Feelings like these come with OCD and hallucinations. But that doesn't mean you're insane

@chamomile It certainly feels so real. Like I've been drinking too much and can't very my balance. Yet I don't drink! I've slept so much more than usual this weekend. I guess all this could be the antidepressants I started last Sunday kicking in. But it's still horrible.

That isnt unfair to an extent though I understand your fear, I mean your kids are going to go to school, they're gonna be fine.

@chamomile It's half term here, but I have to go to work anyway. Pay of me just doesn't want to come back though :(

@Riso123 That must be extremely distressful, I really wish I could help in any way but I'm not best at dealing with something that has possibilities of being really high :(

I can understand the pain of you just how your responsibility as the bread winner of the family and as a husband and a father is being overtaken by OCD. But try to calm down, I hope your house isnt an old lot, creaking sounds in houses are pretty common but if it's happening too much like on a regular basis, reinforce the walls and floors maybe.

@chamomile It's about 70 years. Houses here ate built to last. We had a survey dinner on our house last week and nothing major wad reported.

@Riso123 70 years?! Wow that's honestly incredible, houses around here don't last very long, but still if you're afraid that it IS going to break and collapse, reinforce it cause they possibilities are uncertain, maybe high maybe low. But that's a good sign of nothing major was reported :)

This is exactly what it's doing. I just can't stop. :(

@Greenwhale I just want it to go away. My son Judy come to me and said, I look sad is it my OCD? Bless him. He's cuddling me now telling me not to worry and it will be ok. I just wish he didn't see me like this.

@Riso123 That's extremely sweet of him to do. Seriously may God bless him. It's a sign he's going to be very understanding boy growing up. But having OCD isn't a simple thing and communicating it with your children and family is important, and I'm happy that he from a young age understands that :)

@chamomile He does, but sometimes he asks if he has made me sad :(. I hope my own OCD won't affect him later on life.

I already have depression unfortunately. Have done since I was 15 and I'm 38 now. Part of me feels guilty for bringing children in to this world :(. Now I'm back to hoping for a war to break out our something. For ssome reason this makes me feel at ease. I don't really know what to write now. My mind is a jumbled mass of negative thoughts flashing in front of me. None of it is nice. Is this OCD? Is this something else? It's like my brain lines to torment ne with negative and horrible visions. Mocking me :(

@Riso123 I'm so sorry you had depression, honestly you're such a brave man. Youve lived with depression since you were 15 and come so far. You shouldn't feel guilty for bringing your beautiful children into this world, they understand as young kids and know about your problems. You're still having OCD, in of the other threads you said it yourself, OCD is fed by fear and all other negative thoughts. Im providing reassurance but I really think you need it just for a bit. Kind of a silly question, but are you on medication?

@Riso123 Here’s an article on OCD and Depression and how they are linked. Learning as much as you can about your condition and learning techniques for managing it are good places to focus on for well being. https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/ocd-and-depression/