- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes I've been there. It does feel like people are either lying or just don't understand. It really is OCD. Guilt is such a horrible emotion that it feels like it just HAS to come from somewhere in real life. I used to believe that so much that I just assumed I had forgotten or not been aware of awful things I must've done, and overemphasised tiny mistakes into huge systematic deliberate things which they just weren't. Now that I have much less guilt due to working on it, it's people's incorrect impressions about me which they have from me talking about myself so negatively and delusionally which worry me instead and I have to work on putting those things right somewhat. I have a couple of suggestions: guilt can be linked to toxic shame, which is worth researching, and over-responsibility, aka moral scrupulosity, which is also worth researching.
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you for taking the time to comment means a lot :)
- Date posted
- 5y
@maddy79 No problem. Real event OCD is a real bitch, it tends to paralyze us from doing anything we associate with moving forwards. It's really important to get professional treatment if you can.
- Date posted
- 5y
Ok for example, tomorrow if your enemy comes up to you and says negative things, we will of course not believe it because our enemy never wishes the best for you. Just like that ocd is your enemy. An enemy makes your friends your enemy. Just like that ocd is your enemy. OCD hates everyone. It’s everyone’s enemy. OCD sends all these doubts. We can’t listen to our enemy right. OCD is our enemy, the things it says to us, it gives us depression and anxiety. So you decide now.
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you for taking your time to comment. You’re right and it means a lot
- Date posted
- 5y
@maddy79 :) happy to help
- Date posted
- 5y
this is EXACTLY what I’m dealing with. it’s so torturous.
- Date posted
- 5y
I have guilt over something I did in the past. and I obsess about it until no end recently and the fact that I can’t change it gives me panic... i obsess about suicide in turn. It’s so horrible. I used to mentally review the scenario but now I’m just obsessing about the fact that I can’t change it and it makes me feel so guilty and that there’s no way around it. it’s like that impending doom feeling
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes exactly:( wishing you lots of healing. The only thing that helps me is not doing compulsions like reviewing or googling
- Date posted
- 5y
I strongly relate to this. I dwell excessively on moments from my past to the point where the people involved are in my dreams. It affects so many aspects of my daily life. I’m also trying to cut back on asking for reassurance that I’ve grown and I’m not the same person I was, but it gets very hard to refrain from that sometimes.
- Date posted
- 5y
It sucks to have that feeling of guilt
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- 5y
@maddy79 It does. I try to combat it now, it’s not as bad as it used to be!
- Date posted
- 5y
@Amelia C You combat the guilt? How?
- Date posted
- 5y
Does anyone have any advice on how to do ERP for this? I am unsure what my compulsions are for the guilty feeling I have.
- Date posted
- 5y
I don’t even know what my compulsions are really lol I feel like oven been sitting in the anxiety and panic but haven’t really felt better yano
- Date posted
- 5y
I feel that. If you catch yourself starting to mentally review again definitely try not to fall into that trap. At the end of the day we are human. We do things we aren’t proud of. And that doesn’t define our entire lives. Ocd can make a mountain out of a mole hill
- Date posted
- 5y
Ive*
- Date posted
- 5y
Exactly. just so hard to see anything clearly.
- Date posted
- 5y
I relate so much. So hard to get past it because you’re worried you really did something wrong and it says more about who you are. It’s awful
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
I have recently entered a phase of extremely obsessive thoughts of every mistake I’ve ever made. Things from over a decade ago, things that happened recently, or even things currently happening like my own thoughts and feelings that I have no control over. Ever since I was little I have been a habitual liar. For the most part, I just tell little white lies or exaggerated stories. I even lie about things that don’t matter at all, like if I’ve seen a certain movie or something. But I have also lied about some serious things, like bad things happening to me, like abuse or SA. (DISCLAIMER - I’ve never accused anyone of these things to the police or anything like that). I hate that I’ve done this and I feel so disgusted with my behavior. I’ve been obsessing over this and unable to forgive myself or feel better about doing this. I feel like such a sick human being. I know most of the reasons for why I lie—attention, sympathy, to seem more interesting, to relate to someone, or to even pretend that my life is better than it is. I never ever have any bad intentions when I lie, but I know that doesn’t mean a whole lot. Sometimes I lie so naturally that I don’t even realize it, and sometimes I lie to the point that I actually believe what I’m saying. Somethings wrong with me and I don’t want to be this way anymore. I hate myself and I feel like I’m being tortured with this guilt. I feel like I don’t deserve to ever feel better because this is a result of my own actions. I have a group of girl friends that I met online that I’ve known for about 3 years. I lied about and insinuated that bad things had happened to me to them, because I wanted to relate to them and maybe because I wanted sympathy. I was actually emotionally abused by my ex, and he did kind of get physical with me one time (if I’m remembering correctly, but my OCD doubts if that even actually happened), but I have exaggerated and said that I was abused physically. I also have portrayed my life to be completely different than it is, because I hate my life and I like to pretend that things are better than they are. In a way, I feel like it’s a form of escapism. When I talk to them, I can pretend that I’m a different person. A more interesting, less pathetic, and more relatable person. I’ve lied to them so much that I can’t even begin to remember them all, and I feel so disgusted by myself, and the guilt of this is adding onto my other debilitating guilt. I can’t stop obsessing over it and I feel like I’m an awful person for this. I feel like I don’t deserve to feel better. I’m unable to function, and I can’t forgive myself no matter what. I know that if I confess to them, they’ll be disgusted by my behavior and not want to speak to me again. Especially because I lied about things that are so sensitive. And they’re perfectly within their right to feel that way and to reject me. I don’t know if I can handle the rejection and stress of confessing at this moment in time. I also just can’t even remember all of my lies. But if I keep talking to them, I’ll have to upkeep my lies, and I know I’ll never get better if I keep having to lie. None of my lies have caused them any actual harm, most of my lies are harmless, and it’s not like I’ll ever actually meet them in person, but I feel like I’ve gone against my morals, and I know that it was wrong. Even though my ex is an awful person and put me through hell, I feel bad that I’ve told these girls online that he’d abused me when he actually hasn’t (other than the one time he sorta got physical with me). He even has been going around telling people things about me and degrading me, and this has been going on for nearly 10 years. But I know it was wrong to lie about that regardless of what he’s done or what he’s actively doing to me. The girls don’t have his full name or info or anything like that, they just know his first name and that he’s my ex and that he “physically abused” me. I don’t ever lie out of malice. My dad is a pathological liar and he’s never received help, and I feel like I’ve learned his behavior. I especially feel bad because one of my online friends gave me an extremely expensive gift for my birthday last October, and I didn’t ask for it or anything or manipulate her into giving it to me, but I feel awful that she gave me a gift when I’ve lied about so many things. It’s also not something I can give back since it was an online thing, and I genuinely don’t have the money to pay her back. I feel like I’ve been living a lie and that it’s unfair to them. I am so so scared to tell the truth. I think I’d be less scared if I was only admitting it to one person, but I’d be admitting it to three. I know that they’ll think I’m terrible, disgusting, and that they’ll hate me, and then they’ll probably talk about how awful I am with each other. Which is perfectly justified. I just am so scared of it. I’m in a really bad state of mind. I can’t function and all I do all day is lay around and obsess over all my mistakes. I know the lying is out of my control to a certain extent and that I have a problem and mental illness, but I still can’t forgive myself. I feel disgusting and awful and like I’m a bad person and no matter what I do, I’m reminded of it. I feel like I’m going crazy and that I deserve to feel this way for what I’ve done. And I feel hopeless because I feel like I won’t ever feel better from this unbearable state unless I confess, but I really don’t feel like I’m ready. Every day I become more and more certain that I’m terrible.
- Date posted
- 19w
Hey guys, for the past three months I’ve been obsessing over a mistake I made about 6 months ago, I constantly have panic attacks and wake up in fight or flight mode I have convinced myself that someone is gonna find me somehow and punish me. I have endlessly looked up reassurance that what I did wouldn’t get me in trouble or something, I have filled up 5 different ChatGPT chats and it tells me it’s 100% certain nothing will happen. But then I convince myself well everyone says not to trust it and then I just spiral again. The point is I’m just scared, I’ve convinced myself this isn’t OCD because it’s something I actually did wrong. I can’t stop looking for reassurance because that’s the only thing that makes me feel safe anymore. Everyone tells me, just say maybe, maybe not, but my brain has convinced me the stakes are too high. I’m too scared and I don’t know what to do.
- Date posted
- 12w
Hey everyone I know I’ve mentioned this before but, I wanted to share again just in case if anyone new sees this. I deal with cheating ocd really bad, like I always have thoughts about the past and such and get worried about things. I know my morals and values and I know id never ever cheat, but my mind always loves to play the “What if” game. It really sucks. My boyfriend is the sweetest and a god sent to me and he is always there for me but ugh this ocd dealing with cheating and false memory/real events kills me, anyone else relate? I dont know how to put up with it anymore, Just today I remembered I had an old twitter account which is now X, but I remembered I deleted my account a long long time ago but ugh I used to be on twitter so much awhile ago and my ocd acted up and was like “You better go check to make sure you didn’t do anything.” And I remembered I sat with myself and said “I know my morals I would never do that to him.” And then my ocd was like “Are you sure? What if you did?” Etc and my anxiety is now so bad about it now :(
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