when i was 7 years old, i sexually experimented but with my brother who was three years younger than me. nothing terrible happened and nothing was forced. i sat on his lap and i moved my hips in a sexual way for like 5 seconds. i didn’t know that it was wrong at the time, i was just a very curious child. that was 12 years ago and ever since then i’ve regretted it with every ounce of my being and it made me feel disgusting because it doesn’t align with my values at all. but recently, it has turned into real event ocd. i cant stop feeling immense guilt over this thinking i molested my brother and how shameful i feel about it. i feel so disgusting and i don’t think i’ve ever felt more suicidal than i do now.

This kind of thing is *unbelievably* common. But you're not going to feel any better by canvassing all the other stories. Even with real event OCD, ERP is pretty much the answer. You can survive feeling awful about this and staying with that until it does eventually reduce. It's good for our fears to sometimes know facts, like that this is common or that tasting blood when you puked doesn't mean you have internal bleeding or that guilt and self blame after going through a trauma is near enough universal. Facts are good, we need them to get an idea of where we stand in the world. But you don't need minutiae or to be reminded or to remind yourself that this is common. You got reassurance from the reply here which brought you down from severe anxiety and rumination, and that's bad for you. You already have heard before that this kind of thing happens a lot, it wasn't that you didn't know the facts and needed input, it's that you felt guilty and anxious anyway and wanted to hear somebody else put your memory into that category because you fear that it's an exception and a reflection on you. Habituate to the anxiety, and let yourself process the guilt too. If you don't let the guilt happen and pass back away again before you try to assure yourself of comforting things, then what you understand to be most likely true won't feel true and you'll keep going into spirals analysing your motivations and whether you knew better etc. You've said the reasons why your intrusive worry is wrong, you clearly know the facts but they don't feel true enough to cancel out the OCD guilt, as Katie was saying the other day.

Ocdsucks are you male or female ? Don't want to tell you I'm just curious. This event was completely harmless but you already know that.

Further questions coming up is very typical for OCD. OCD never gets enough. It is insatiable. It is very perfidious. It tricks you giving the feeling if you only answer this last question then everything will be fine. But it won't be because like I said all OCD is an insatiable monster. The only way to get to use is to give up the topic without investigating any further. The problem is that OCD won't let you go this easy and will try to get you back to the topic. Sometimes medications can make it easier to get away from it.

use=peace

Yes medication is not that bad. does not change your personality or something like that like some people like to say. It will make it easier to with stand OCD. The first line medication for OCD are serotonin reuptake inhibitor s ( SSRI)

Yes indeed, it is said to be the most effective approach.

It is really heartbreaking to see you suffer and feeling bad about an incident that is nothing, not even worth one second to think about. From here it looks like you are being harassed by a bully trying to talk you into that you are a bad person. The question is: would you really started discussion with this bully in real life or try to persuade him you are not well knowing that this is what I get this energy from ? Wouldn't it be better to tell him: "oh yes whatever maybe I even am a bad girl now f*** Off OCD and let me continue living my life. Can you try that ?

Exactly

by the way we were both fully clothed

i also keep getting intrusive worries like “u knew it was wrong because u did it while ur parents weren’t home” but it’s like, i only did that because i knew sex was wrong. i didn’t know that i wasn’t supposed to experiment with my brother. i feel so so fucking guilty. this doesn’t align with who i am at all

Scoggy very well written. Full of wisdom. chapeau.

Tell=trigger

No I try myself. But we we please please try SSRI. It can really take the pressure off those thoughts. Suddenly don't even have to make any effort to get rid of them. They move more into the background. You need some pressure taken off you. And they do not change the personality at all. You have to throw everything against OCD.

This guilt and shame you feel if FAKE. I know it feels real but it is fake. It is OCD in disguise.

if=is

I= he

And the reality is that it is not worth to think about it even for one second. You have to work to this point. Every second you think about it will make it worse and everytime you manage not to give in will make it better. Every time when that or any thought relate d to this topic comes in, mark it as OCD and try to cut off any dealing with it as early and hard as possible. Ist also means no more reassurance from others no trying to find out no analyzing nothing cut off and do something else. this will be hard first but it will get easier over time. And try meds.