- Date posted
- 4y ago
- Date posted
- 4y ago
these are just intrusive thoughts! You cannot control what just pops up into your mind and usually intrusive thoughts are to do with things that offend you and things that you’d never want to do and things that do not align with your values and beliefs. When you get these thoughts just stop take a deep breathe and then carry on with what you was going. The more time you give these thoughts the stronger and more frequent they will get but if you give them less time they will get weaker and less frequent! I hope things get easier :)
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Thanks a lot of the reply. Felt better after reading your comment.
- Date posted
- 2y ago
how do you ignore them when they’re causing you so much distress
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I’ve never related more to a post in my life ? literally everything you said I deal with the same thing. It’s debilitating some days but you’re brave because I have not been brave enough to tell anyone about it besides online here. It’s so reassuring to hear that it’s normal and that I’m not alone in this. I’ve had periods of thought where I convince myself I’m crazy and I start to become suicidal just because I convince myself that if I’m not here then I can’t hurt anyone. I’ll start to convince myself that I secretely want to hurt people and I need to die so I don’t do it. It’s so so scary living with this condition.
- Date posted
- 2y ago
@awkwardturtle Same, how are you now?
- Date posted
- 2y ago
@awkwardturtle 100% feel the same way. It’s like word for word reading this post! It made me feel relieved when I read it even though I’ve been dealing with this for 6 months now and have had MANY ups and downs of where one week I’m fine and the next I’m not. But it honestly helps so much to hear that others are having these experiences which only validates that it is harm OCD or other subtypes. I know my therapist says that OCD is the doubt disorder so hearing people’s stories helps “debunk” any doubts that something worse is wrong with us. At least for me. Thank you both for being vulnerable and sharing your experiences. It really does help others like myself.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Hi, I read your story and I just want you to know that you are not alone. Although I’m dealing with more of just Self-Harm OCD (Which is the same experience you’ve described except they’re about hurting myself), I know many individuals struggling with Harm OCD and their stories are very similar to yours if not the same. It’s good that you have this app because you’ll start to better understand yourself and how these thoughts are unwanted and mean nothing. Make sure to start therapy if possible and make sure your therapist is specialized in OCD so that you may start doing ERP and get on meds if needed. I’m here if you want to talk!
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Hey! Can we talk?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I have this same thing. Everything you described. I’m so sorry I know how awful and debilitating it is ... if you’d like to talk I’m here!
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Honestly that is so nice to hear as weird as that sounds that I’m not the only one dealing with these thoughts! Honestly the random “I wanna hurt her” or “I wanna kill her” thoughts scared the living day lights out of me. We will get through it!
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@Zoë We will. I get that too. I’ve had it on and off for years!!!! Feel free to reach out :)
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Thank you so much for replying. I feel a bit more at ease now I know I’m not the only one getting these thoughts. I’ll be here for you too if you need to talk !
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I have harm ocd too. I’ve felt some of your fears you’ve shared too in my ways also dealing with my ocd
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Hi All, I have been having these intrusive thoughts for like a week now and I don’t know how they’ve started and why but it started all of a sudden and this random thought pops up in my mind to hurt someone especially my girlfriend. I’m like why the hell would you do that?!!! I live with my girlfriend and we’ve been together for 5 years now and will be getting married next year. I love her more than anything in the world and i would never ever hurt her. I just have no freaking clue why these random violent thoughts pop up!! I tell myself these are just stupid thoughts and don’t mean anything and tell myself i’m fine but it’s hard to stop thinking about thoughts. Although it’s good to know there are people who have these kinda thoughts too. I’m having a 15 minute call tomorrow so looking forward to it.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Hi, I replied to your comment underneath. I hope u can see it
- Date posted
- 2y ago
@Vikaspratap I have this thought too it’s so fucked up! This thought “kill someone” pops into my head and it’s living hell. I am such a kind person and would never do such a thing. OCD is hell. It plays on your worst fears.
- Date posted
- 2y ago
You are not alone! My brain keeps telling me “kill yourself” or “kill someone” and it is like living hell because I would never ever act on these thoughts. They started as mental images like yours then turned into word type thoughts because I was scared of having them/that I was psychotic for having these thoughts pop into my head. I know it’s all anxiety but I just can’t get out of this loop of thinking I could go mad because of these thoughts
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w ago
I haven't been officially diagnosed with OCD but when I learned more about it, I never related to anything more. A little back story: when I was younger, there were a couple of youth suicides in my area and the schools felt the need to have someone come in and talk about suicide. Well the person they had come in did a horrible job teaching it and basically made it seem like the smallest negative emotion or feeling or change in behavior made you suicidal. This ended up scaring me so much that I got horrid anxiety. Fast forward to now, Everytime I feel anxiety and panic, I fear I'm going to kill myself. Everytime I feel down and depressed, I fear I'll end it all. I'm scared to be around anything sharp because the "What if" I hurt myself comes into my mind. There are always intrusive thoughts at almost every point of the day. And it's not only for me. Everytime I hear someone being negative, I fear they will be suicidal. I know in my heart that none of this is true but it's terrifying me that it's stuck around so much that it makes me scared that maybe it is true. I've had a lot of death in my family in the past year and a half and a lot of other family drama that I'd never had before that is now also bringing up existential intrusive thoughts. And I'd never questioned anything about life before but now I get the "why is life like this?" and "does anything we do matter?" and I hate it. I don't want to think like that. I just want to go through life being able to handle things normally again. It terrifies me even right now going "what if you give up?"
- Date posted
- 21w ago
I’m having a very bad evening with my intrusive thoughts. I was doing really good dealing with them but tonight one hit me hard. I’ve been having a lot of different intrusive thoughts but I’ll have one occasionally about hurting my mom or my dog who I love and they’re the only family I have in my life. They’re my world. I was helping my mom put away the dishes and I had the big kitchen knife in my hand and my intrusive thought was you could stab your mom. And then my brain said I had a twitch in my hand and that meant I wanted to do it. Let me just say that I wouldn’t hurt a fly. I actually caught a fly in a glass and put it outside instead of killing it this evening before this intrusive thought happened. I’m such a gentle and compassionate and caring person and these thoughts instantly cause me to have a panic attack. And I have no one to talk to them about. I know they’re hard for my mom to hear and I don’t want to be any more of a burden than I already am. I do desperately want to tell her and have her reassure me that I’m not crazy or a psycho. Then my thoughts wander to if your hand did flinch could you be a psychopath. Is hurting someone in you. I know it’s not but I feel like my mind is out to get me and hurt me. I’m working so hard and I thought I was doing so good but I need to know why I have these thoughts. They’re not ok. I need someone to help me make sense of why. I know we aren’t supposed to ruminate but I shouldn’t have thoughts like this about people I love and care about the most in the world.
- Date posted
- 19w ago
I feel like there’s no way out of this. everyday i’m anxious and depressed from these thoughts. i feel like i have to constantly question if it’s OCD or not. the panic attacks are insane and i freak out. and a compulsion i have is looking eveything up on the internet when im stressing to know that it’s just my OCD and im not in danger. but looking things up add on to my thoughts and i start thinking “what if” actual suidcal people think. do others with this theme whenever they do something like if im taking a picture it’ll be like “yeah you look happy people will wonder what happened when your gone” LIKE i DO NOT want to end my life. or even as simple as cleaning my room, “yup keep it clean so when your family goes through your stuff” then i panic and can’t even do anything. those thoughts distress me so bad. i’ll sit there and think how good my life is or when im having a good day my thoughts will be like “NOPEEE what if your just saying that to convince yourself” it never shuts up and genuinely makes me think i have SI or something. i hope this reaches the right people just to know im not alone. Even when i do get better in the back of my mind it’s always “people who want to are the same a day before too” im genuinely scared and im scared one day im going to just snap and do it because its “too much” do i need to go to a mental hospital! i feel insane.
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