- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I thought I was really getting better because my anxiety has gone down significantly but now I still have doubts about my sexuality. I'm 27 and have never been in a romantic relationship with a man and want to so bad. But since it hasn't happened yet I feel like I am not capable of doing so because I'm a lesbian and just realizing it. It also doesn't help that I did like watching lesbian porn (i felt nothong about it because i know a lot of straight women do). And when I was 22 I did question my sexuality but "knew" I liked guys and really wasn't interested in sex or a relationship with a woman. But now I feel like I was wrong.
- Date posted
- 4y
i do not want to reassure you but i feel the same way, i just call myself bisexual it releases some stress although i question if i am really straight or lesbian. i know it’s hard but use the tools and don’t over analyze it just do what you want and even if you feel like it’s not 100% right and what you REALLY want to do, do it anyways
- Date posted
- 4y
@No_brainier99 just do it honestly. tell yourself you want to and if you don’t like it then you will know what you truly like! it’s up to you. and me struggling with this i keep myself and my mind open to anything to not stress myself out, it doesn’t hurt to try things though ya know?
- Date posted
- 4y
Im doing erp therapy now it's been 3 weeks! I do feel my anxiety has gone down because it got to the point where i was having suicidal thoughts. But i feel i should be further along in recovery and I'm afraid I'm not doing the erp exercises right. Im reading Overcoming Intrusive Thoughts and have ordered an OCD workbook that comes tomorrow. I also found a workout packet so i can document my exposures and responses better. Another thing that is difficult is learning all of the mental compulsions i have. I have been able to stop the Googling and other physical compulsions but I recently learned of others that I have been doing this entire time. I am happy to discover them so i can stop but i feel i have wasted the past 3 weeks. And it's expensive to go to therapy. Don't get me wrong i have the best therapist and she's so patient and understanding but i feel im the biggest set back.
- Date posted
- 4y
nope you’re doing great. be kind to yourself because you deserve patience dealing with this for so long, give yourself time and however long you need.
- Date posted
- 4y
@adri Thank you for your kind words but tbh I want this over with sooo bad! I am happy when I think this wont last forever
- Date posted
- 4y
@I_WILL_SURVIVE of course:) i do too but we have to remind ourself to be patient because this is our journey & it won’t be forever and we are building our way up to achieving that
- Date posted
- 4y
@I_WILL_SURVIVE If you were training for a marathon, and couldn’t run the full 26 miles after three weeks of training, would you consider it time wasted? If during training you discovered more effective ways of improving your fitness, would you be upset you didn’t somehow know that without experience? Why are you doing that with recovery?
- Date posted
- 4y
Same :((
- Date posted
- 4y
we will get through it :( <3
- Date posted
- 4y
I agree 100%
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I feel so sad, alone, scared and hopeless. Until two months ago there was not even the remote possibility of being anything other than heterosexual and now the idea that I could find out that I was lesbian or bisexual terrifies me to death. Everything was born from the fact that I didn't feel sexual desire towards my ex-boyfriend and I started to be afraid that it was because I was a lesbian... how can I be a lesbian or bisexual if everything was born from this? I would like to run away from myself and my head. I would really like to go back and go back to my life before. I can't take it anymore. I just want to live my life like before
- Date posted
- 16w
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
- Date posted
- 12w
I just can’t do this shit anymore.im tired of these “arousal” sensations that feel real but when I go check my arousal to the same gender I just get anxiety. I’m tired of feeling like I can’t like girls anymore. I’m tired of my arousal getting blocked every now and then because I’m anxious. I’m tired of not knowing who I am anymore. I’m tired of having my mind putting me into an identity I never asked for. I’m tired of this life
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