- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Oh honey, this is just ocd. I’ve had these thoughts when being intimate with my husband. A main part of my pocd is false memories so I’ve constantly had feelings of checking or trying to ruminate during sex as well. Which made me feel worse. Please don’t despair. One time I read something on a forum that really comforted me. It said that whatever many people are aroused by in their minds, is not something they would ever carry out. Not saying you were aroused by that thought intentionally but you might have felt like it because you were in that sexual moment when the thought came along. To give perspective, some women have a fantasy of being raped at one point or another. Would they ever do such a thing or want it to actually happen to them? Of course not. Basically, thoughts and actions are separate. The difference is that we have ocd and we attach way too much meaning to our thoughts. However It is our actions around us that define us. Acceptance does not mean that we have to accept we enjoy the thoughts, because that would be very hard to accept because it is against our morals and values. Accepting means accepting that the thoughts can come and go as these please, because they are simple thoughts. Nothing else. Anything can come into our mind while we are enjoying sex. I hope this helps some. If this is affecting you so much (not eating, sleeping) try to reach out to a therapist if you haven’t already. Next time it troubles you, practice just letting the thought come and saying ok well it doesn’t mean anything it’s just a thought We are here for you
- Date posted
- 6y
Oh never mind just reread that you said you are seeing a therapist. Excellent. Pedophiles enjoy their thoughts they don’t obsess and worry over them and especially stop eating or sleeping because of them. It is most definitely pocd
- Date posted
- 6y
Your not ! It’s hard and I’ve been there and still at times there with you. They are thoughts that send us on wild journeys. I hate them feel sick distressed and lonely, but the more we play with the thoughts the worse they get, it will get better and you will have ups and downs along the way, as do I ! It’s an horrendous topic but it is what it is and we can get through this
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you for your response. I am just so afraid that something like this happens again, now it feels even harder to accept the thoughts because OCD is telling me this situation is proof that I actually enjoy them. I just don’t know how to stop thinking about it and I feel like I will never be over this, forever anxious about getting wrong feelings thoughts and emotions, acting wrong. Don’t want to do sexual stuff with myself/boyfriend any longer, I am so scared of this happening again or something else :(
- Date posted
- 6y
Everything your describing is in your head, your not acting on your thoughts/ feelings. Hang in there it will get better.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I feel like a really terrible person right now, I keep replaying this, and no matter what I can’t remember what happened, it’s like my brain is purposely not letting me think about it. Without wasting any more time, I’ll get into it. Basically, I was at Walmart, and looking at cards with My Dad, I saw anime ones, took pictures of them for my sister, even ones that were anime kids, because I did my best to ignore it, so I looked at a Hunter x Hunter card, I stared at the black haired kid, being all like “ I’m glad I’m not having any thoughts about this, I’m glad I’m having normal thoughts and not thinking anything” I felt happy, then as soon as I looked at killua (white haired kid), everything collapsed. I don’t know what happened, my brain won’t let me remember. But I’ll give bits and pieces. I think that I had false attraction, and something in my head, said “oh, I wouldn’t mind being attracted.” “He is attractive, and I’m attracted to him.” “I remember a girl thinking he is attractive and he is” “ It’s not wrong to be attracted” “ I don’t care about his age” .. something along the lines of that, and now I’m panicking super hard, because I’m worried if I said those things, I feel like I ruined my life that I’m a pe//do and deserve nothing, idk what to do, I feel terrible… I remember when I was having the intrusive thoughts, I was panicking and was worrying, but it kept playing out, and I kept hearing things talk, it was drawn out too long, that now I feel convinced that I was saying those things, I tested it too, and I can confirm that I didn’t say that, but why am I still not convinced? I know I wouldn’t say those things, I was hoping the complete opposite would happen. My brain kept making me feel like it wasn’t wrong and it was okay. Maybe that’s why I’m so convinced I did that. I’m just spiraling super bad right now, I don’t know what to do or what to think, I don’t know if I said that or not… even if I did test it, I genuinely just feel like I said it, and I wanted it, because I still feel uncertain, I still feel like I said it, part of me just wants to be like oh I did and so I can move on, not because I agree with it, I just don’t know what else to do… I’m really scared.
- Date posted
- 21w
I feel like one of the worst things about ocd are the disturbing images or the ‘little movies’ that replay in your head over and over again. I have the worst sexual images with one of my family members that actually so bad that I can’t even look in the mirror. And it’s even worse that I have a lovely boyfriend and I’m so disgusted of myself that I feel like I don’t deserve him and I feel like I can’t be with him because of these thoughts, even he is the most precious thing in my life. These sexual images are so horrible and what makes it even worse that in these pictures I always see myself as someone who enjoys it. I know how to deal with this anymore. My mind is trying to convince me that that I actually like these images and thoughts and this is the hardest part, that I’m doubting myself. These images pop up in my head so naturally that I always question myself if I actually don’t like it why it comes so naturally or how can my brain picture things like this if I don’t like it. It’s getting worse day by day. It’s in my head 24/7, can’t concentrate on anything else, I can’t eat because I’m constantly throwing up. And my mom has to sleep with me every night because I’m so disturbed by my own mind. My parents know that there’s something wrong with me, they think I’m depressed but sadly It’s not something I can talk openly about with them. I’m seeing a therapist next week but I’m genuinely scared to open up about these thoughts that I’m having.
- Date posted
- 19w
(20f) I have been dealing with severe OCD symptoms for as long as I can remember. I recently got diagnosed about a year ago, and even though I know that these thoughts are probably my ocd, I still cant shake them. Growing up I was always very sexually curious. I was sheltered from a lot of things, as I went to a private school and things like sexuality and sex were never talked about. I remember doing some weird sexual things growing up (never affecting another person), looking up taboo sexual things, etc. I always seemed to become aroused no matter what the situation was, even if I just saw someone getting changed. I have no recollection of being SA'd, so i'm wondering where this all came from? Was I just curious and wanted to experiment and try different things? Or am I really a pervert, pedophile, etc. I have all these thoughts racing through my head and it's killing me. Everything I did as a kid I look back on and am disgusted, as those don't align with my views at all today. I never thought growing up thinking these things were wrong, or actually realize what they were until I got older. I'd like to think it was just my curiosity, but i'm not sure. What if i'm in denial and actually do like these things? I just need to know if theres something wrong w me, I cant keep going on like this. Could really use some advice.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond