i feel like the worst person in the world. im not asking for reassurance, but im sure people can relate. this shit is so hard.

i hate that like i can physically feel like there’s something wrong in my brain. whenever i feel an unwanted thought come it feels like such a strong and intense brainwave

I definitely hear you. Constant intrusive thoughts really do change the way I feel in my own body, most especially the way my head feels; super numb and heavy.

I hear you. OCD loves messing with our self-esteem, eh? But we’re worth more than this illness.

Definitely feel you on that. I don’t feel worthy of anything and I’m afraid to lose everything. I can have days on days of the feeling and it’s awful. Stay strong

I've heard that OCD is one of the top 10 most debilitating illnesses in the world. It's so rough. I've had OCD since a child, so I'm just exhausted. That being said, SSRIs HAVE helped me in so many ways and I have made progress. Tell me what you're scared of regarding taking SSRIs? Because really, I've tried a few of them to find the right one, and everything is ok! No major side effects. Nothing scary happened. I take them everyday with no problems! :)

@babbie we sure as hell are

OK, let me be real with you ;) you are likely to *only* experience very mild and very tolerable side effects (I'm talking anout having really weird dreams, a little bit of an upset stomach). And these go away a few days/weeks once your body adjusts. You also start on a very small dose, so if you do happen to experience a really not-so-great side effect, you tell your doctor and you start weaning off the medication until you stop it. None of the side effects are permanent. My side effects on SSRIs have been the weird dreams, slightly upset stomach, and then feeling dizzy or a little nauseous when I skip the med/forget to take it (I have a medication reminder app for that now ;)). But honestly, even if you had a potentially bad allergic reaction (and the chances of this happening are reallllllllyyyy slim), you stop the medication immediately and you'll get help. I am very sensitive to medication and I've been just fine. I did have a severe allergic reaction to a mood stabiliser (not an SSRI), but it wasn't life-threatning or anything like that. Just unpleasant and I got treatment immediately. I've taken all of the antidepressants you've mentioned haha ;) — the only one that didn't work for me too well was Zoloft, so my psychiatrist stopped it after a few weeks and I went on to something else. But my friend is on Zoloft, and she's been on it for years, and it works well for her. I also had no side effects with Prozac as far as I can remember. I now take an SNRI because it's a better fit for me. I'm confident that you WILL notice a positive difference being on the medication, but it won't cure you, that's important to remember. The medication is just there to "reduce the noise" in your brain so that you can work effectively in therapy. But I can tell you that the medication did save my life regarding fighting my depression related to my OCD. And you won't become dependent on SSRIs, and a doctor will always warn you before hand if they're giving you something that could potentially be addictive. I've taken addictive anti-anxiety tablets, but I've never ever become dependent on them! Just talk to your doctor about all your concerns. Every body will react slightly differently to different medications, so its also important to understand that just because one SSRI doesn't work for someone else, it doesn't mean it won't work for you. Also, your doctor should do some blood tests to test your liver and kidney function. And once you start taking the medication, you can have follow up tests to see how much of the medication is in your blood (I.e. to see if it's staying in your body long enough to have an effect) Sorry for the essay! Disclaimer: I'm not a medical professional and I'm just writing from my own experiences. But I can tell you that I was also terrified of taking medication at first, but I promise you, it was nothing once I took that first tablet! Just take it when you're with someone you trust for the first few days. And remember, you don't need to be on medication forever. If you get a good therapist that deals with your OCD, then medication may no longer need to be an option. It totally depends on your situation. But I promise you, starting with one of the SSRIs you've mentioned is a piece of cake ;) you've got this! You can talk to me anytime about this! I've just taken my SNRI and mood stabiliser before bed :D I know it feels scary, but I personally think the benefits you'll get are worth it. And you don't need to be on super high doses. Just talk with your doctor and do this step by step!

ugh i know!!! it’s so hard to concentrate on literally anything. i wonder if ssri’s really would help. im scared of them though

@delta you’ve got this girl

@seashell i guess i am scared of the side effects, if i experience any strong relapse if i get taken off and just overall dependence :(. im also scared it wont even do anything! my doctor has prozac, lexapro and zoloft available for me

One more thing: it's good to be aware of the side effects of the medication. Read up on them and be mindful of them when starting the meds. Some meds can affect your mood/make you more irritable etc., but that just means the medication is not the right one for you. As I said, the only one that wasn't great for me was Zoloft, and I stopped that immediately when I wasn't feeling mentally OK on it. As long as you have a good doctor and people you can turn to for support, taking meds will be just fine.

awww you’re the best thanks so much for this info @SeaShell

Sorry that was such an essay! Just wanted to let you know that you'll be OK! Just talk to your doctor about any doubts or concerns and if you start the meds, you can be on the lookout for any side effects and stop the meds if you feel uncomfortable. You've got this!!! Wishing you all the best!!