This is going to be long but I hope someone will read and help. I had to do a compulsion where I have to picture my fiance, say his name, and then say the word GOD afterwards. So I did this compulsion and afterwards the words "I hate God" popped up into my head. It is scaring the crap out of me even though I know I love the Lord and I am a religious person. It is scaring me also because I don't want to do another compulsion and I don't want to end it on something so negative either. I am not looking for reassurance, but I just need to know if I'm not alone and if there is anything I can do to prevent myself from doing another compulsion to stop this.

adaptocd

Date posted: 4y

Hi there, I had this exact type of OCD as a child. I would experience intrusive thoughts of harming Jesus or cursing God’s name and then I would need to have a “holy” thought or pray to neutralize it. What’s important to remember is the content of your thoughts is meaningless, it is OCD that is your enemy- not your thoughts and not yourself. I’m not a religious person now, but I remember how much distress the thoughts brought me and the fear that would follow of the potential consequences. With practice, you’ll be able to separate the thoughts from yourself and recognize them as OCD. Resisting the compulsions will increase your discomfort, but in time will allow for long-term tolerance of the thoughts. The OCD likes to prey on what you value most, but it is not a reflection of your values. Be gentle with yourself and remember a higher being can recognize you’re suffering, so please be compassionate with yourself.

pureolife

Date posted: 4y

You’re in quite the meta ocd loop here: your compulsion is now associated with an intrusive thought so you want to avoid it (which is another compulsion!) Avoiding your compulsion to prevent the intrusive thought from happening again will not work. My bet is you will have this thought again. And I know that’s sounds scary. BUT it’s actually okay! In fact, if you’re up for a great exposure, I’d have you say this intrusive thought again on purpose next time you do this compulsion. Once it stops being such a trigger, then you can cut out the initial compulsion, since cutting out all compulsions is important obviously. You may also was to write down “I hate God” on a piece of paper 50 times a day. And/or record yourself saying it and play it on a loop. Most importantly, when you do these exposures: no more compulsions! You cannot respond with anything to analyze, neutralize, or push away any uncertainty or intrusive thoughts that arise as a result. Just sit with the anxiety and let it pass on its own without doing anything.

Vannafaith

Date posted: 4y

Oh this sounds terrifying! I would love to do this and I let the words pop into my mind, but then my mind automatically switched it to I love GOD so I'm not sure what to do at this point.

pureolife

Date posted: 4y

@Vannafaith Like I said, you could try writing it down, saying it out loud, or recording it. The point is to say/think these words on purpose and then refrain from doing compulsions. Like correcting it to “I love god.”

booba

Date posted: 4y

@Vannafaith I’m not religious, so I dealt with this problem a little differently, but I just wanted to tell you I’m so sorry you’re going through this! I grew up learning about Christianity, and if you believe in God, God is omnipotent, and you know that he knows your heart. Your thoughts are not you. You can think about whatever you want. If God is omnipotent then he knows your truth, then it’s okay for you to think as many “bad” sentences and images as you want. Thoughts are just thoughts, you are you. Intention matters.

Vannafaith

Date posted: 4y

@booba Thank you so much! This really makes me feel so much better about these things.

booba

Date posted: 4y

@Vannafaith ❤️❤️ be gentle with yourself, you are loved and your intention to be good means you are good. I’m so so glad you feel better

Stronger.

Date posted: 4y

Asking if you’re not alone IS a form of reassurance. So, you’re saying the fiancé and God is a compulsion? It’s not an exposure?

Vannafaith

Date posted: 4y

No it is a compulsion to help "stop" scary thoughts from coming in.

Stronger.

Date posted: 4y

@Vannafaith Oh, okay. I didn’t understand. Well this is a great form of exposure! To answer your actual question though, if the compulsion (like mental correction) is automatic it will be tricky to stop but you can! Do an exposure (think the words, I hate God or something similar) and set a timer immediately after to see how long you can go without doing a compulsion. It may be 5 seconds, 10, keep going until you can get up to 1 minute. At that point you will have much more control of it. 5 minutes is the actual goal, and once you can do that it’s much easier to carry on without the compulsions automatically happening.

Anonymous

Date posted: 11w

Religious OCD

Hey all. I need help. I am sitting on my bathroom floor freaking out and convinced that all my work towards getting better has gone out the window. I am so scared of the “bad guy” getting me all the time. I constantly feel like I have to prove to God that I don’t mean these awful feelings and thoughts that I have about the bad guy. I’ve had trouble sleeping tonight, going in and out of consciousness, all while dealing with bad thoughts going in and out of my head. Finally I woke up and am flooded with “you have so many thoughts and feeling that you let slide while you were trying to sleep. You had thoughts that you accepted the bad guy and you didn’t dispute them before you tried to move on. You have so much to answer for.” So now I’m sitting here in my bathroom floor hysterically crying and begging God to believe me when I say I don’t any of these thoughts or feelings… please someone help

Anonymous

Date posted: 10w

Religious OCD

Hey everyone, I need help. I woke up just now with the worst thoughts ever. Thoughts that GOD leaving me, thoughts that I like the bad guy, and thoughts that are worse than anything that I have ever thought of before. I realize that I am asking for reassurance, but I am so scared that I mean these thoughts and I just want GOD to keep me and my family safe and know that I don’t mean these thoughts… please help

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 9w

I’m panicking pls help

The compulsive praying for harm on others is back. I know compulsions are a choice, but right now, it feels impossible not to do them. I was spiraling because I thought about losing my boyfriend, and that scared me so much. But then, my brain twisted it with thinking that I would feel liberated and find comfort and new love if my boyfriend were “out of the way” and to this I almost felt excited? I don’t want to lose him. I don’t want him to die or go away. I don’t want him to be gone. But then, that spiraled into these awful thoughts where I felt like I had to pray for harm or death on him. I don’t know why I feel the urge to do this. It doesn’t feel like it will make anything better; it just makes me feel like it’s more likely to happen. I feel trapped in them. I don’t understand why my brain keeps doing this, can anyone help? Please

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