so exhausted. so sick of these thoughts. i just wake up everyday feeling like l am inherently evil and inherently bad. l dont want to harm others l would never want to... but my brain tells me l do and my brain tells me l even get PLEASURE from the thought. l am exhausted. sometimes the obsessions get so bad that no compulsion can help. compulsions sometimes help to wipe away these thoughts. l almost wish l could develop one for my harmOCD. l cant do this anymore. l need someone to tell me it isnt real. l am so sick of people on the internet thinking that OCD is fun in anyway. That intrusive thoughts are fun and silly. People even make TRENDS out of intrusive thoughts. Everyone has intrusive thoughts sometimes. Everyone. This disorder can make you completely convince yourself that not only are you capable of doing horrible things but it gives you false memories that you have already done them. Makes you feel like you are in psychosis and have no control. l wish it was fun. l am so tired.

rvpink

Date posted: 4y

yea this disorder sucks major ass, especially in this regard. harm ocd does awful things to my brain as well but lately i’ve found that constant positive affirmation is what helps me to cope. honestly this is probably a compulsion, but whenever the scarier thoughts pop into my head i repeat the phrase “you are not that thought” over and over until i finally forget. or i simply sing over the “loudness” of the thought at play. i also keep in mind that if i were truly as abhorrent as my brain wants me to think i wouldn’t be so completely and utter disgusted at the content. so yea :) i hope this helps

rvpink

Date posted: 4y

utterly*

pureolife

Date posted: 4y

Are you in treatment with an ocd specialist? I can see and feel your pain. And I’m so sorry your ocd has gotten this bad. Unfortunately, compulsions aren’t the answer. They never have been and never will be. What you’re doing isn’t working. And it’s time to try something new. That new thing is proper treatment where you resist compulsions and learn to sit with all of the icky feelings you have instead of spending all day trying to get rid of them. It won’t be easy. It will feel hard. It will be exhausting in its own right. But it will be productive. It will help you heal. And it will get better with time. What you’re doing now won’t get better with time; it will continue to get worse. Find an ocd specialist. If that’s not an option, do an online course for ocd. If that’s not an option, get an ocd workbook. Join an ocd support group. Read some books on ocd. And most importantly: start implementing what you learn. You can do this!

OCD suck my ...

Date posted: 4y

I am going through the exact same thing at the moment and it’s so hard. I have always been a nice person but these thoughts make me feel like I’m not and that I was manipulating people into thinking I was nice when deep down I wasn’t which isn’t true and I know that. It’s so hard but we will get through this. Sending you all my love ❤️

I Love God T...

Date posted: 22w

Harm ocd

I have all kinds of thoughts that aren’t me it feels like someone is talking to me telling me evil things about people or to do evil things 😞😞😞😞 I can’t do this anymore

Anonymous

Date posted: 21w

Religious OCD

I need help everyone. My thoughts have been getting worse… I haven’t used my ERP because it feels too scary and too real and so I am caught in this spiral of doing compulsions with every other thought that I have. I have thoughts about that bad guy that are so horrible and then I think that the bad guy is talking to me so I do compulsions and desperately want GOD to believe me when I say I don’t mean the thoughts, but then it creates doubt about whether or not I actually do mean the thoughts. And now I am afraid of my own thoughts This makes me want to fix ALL of the thoughts and feelings that I have to prove even more to myself and to GOD that I don’t mean these thoughts. On top of all of this, I am trying to convince myself that it’s OCD and not me at all. Does anyone have this and can anyone help? I am so tired and scared and burnt out…

Vee <3

Date posted: 20w

Heyyyy!

So my OCD has been bad lately. I’ve been ruminating and obsessing over my sexuality again. And it just keeps getting worse. I hate it so much. I try to sit with the discomfort but then my ocd does the backdoor spike. And the groinal response is what keeps me looped. It SUCKS. I am not attracted to men, but my OCD is trying SO hard to convince me that I am. There have been days where I’m just so mentally exhausted that I “accept” what my ocd tells me and I just walk around a hollow, lethargic shell. But then I rethink it and I feel better. It feels like I can only find my TRUE self when I tire my nervous system out enough that it literally breaks down and has me suicidal and hopeless. And then accepting my OCD’s “truth” (that I’m attracted to men) feels like a burden and a chore. I woke up today from an OCD dream, tried to go back to sleep, and my stomach kept cramping bc I was so anxious and ruminating over my intrusive thoughts. I’m starting to doubt it being OCD anymore. My brain is too tired to fight and cry about it anymore.

Sexual Orientation OCD

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