- Username
- POCDKILLME
- Date posted
- 3y ago
You just have to realize OCD is making you go through all this, so the moment you get any sort of feeling or thought thats ocd, identify it and don't think about it and this will take its power away. I know it's so hard man I used to never cry like ever and ever since I got this hocd I cry myself to sleep like every night when its a bad phase because I genuinely feel like I really am gay sometimes but it's just ocd, and the more you stress about it the more power you give it so just relax, eventually you will come back to your senses. Watch some motivational movies too, it helps me inspire me to not give and after we get through this we will be even stronger than before bro, just have hope
I’m sorry to hear that.. how are you doing now?
I cried to my mom on the phone... I just feel so alone...
@POCDKILLME Crying sometimes helps.. a random stranger accusing you of something untrue is definitely upsetting, and all you can do is understand that whatever that person said was just bullshit in their head, and we don’t know what is going up there! And I hope you get the shoes you wanted some other way, hopefully another opportunity arises. And POCD is very rough, very taxing emotionally.. however, it’s literally a glitch in ur head..
@Tatu “Literally a glitch in your head”...love it❤️
Me too bro but just remember it's just a bad phase. I was so bad and I was literally so suicidal but after a few days the suicidal thoughts went away. It will feel so real which is why hocd is a problem but it's just a thought. Identify it as ocd the moment you get the thought and don't think about it anymore or else you will ruminate and go down the spiral. It's like when you watch a scary movie, you know it's not real at all and you're still SO tense and scared, ocd is like that and it feels so real
Don’t give up this pocd also makes me feel like am in denial
This thing gets weirder and weirder I swear. I literally woke up, right. And my mind immediately went “What if you don’t have OCD? You’d just be really bi” and I went along pretending that I didn’t know about OCD and I was just experiencing denial. Then I scrolled on twitter and went on my friend’s page and then my mind went “why don’t you like her? There’s nothing wrong with her. I thought you were supposed to have a crush on her” Here’s the worst part in this: I’m now convinced that HOCD is a huge lie that I made up and it’s homophobic for me to suffer from this theme of OCD and label my “attractions” to the same sex as “bouts of anxiety.” Therefore, I’m not only a bad person, but a liar.
In today’s session, we did ERP and read out loud an article of a woman’s coming out story. Even though I’m a straight male battling with this theme, the words coming out and other trigger words were in the article. Definitely something I wasn’t expecting to do in todays session and now my mind is telling me I want that and that It was a sign for me to come out as gay. So many intrusive feelings, urges, thoughts today. ERP really sucked. I know this is all part of the process but it feels so scary and dangerous to expose myself to this. I don’t want to be gay. I just want OCD to go away and stop making this all feel so real. I do my best to not engage with OCD but I feel so overwhelmed because If I let the thoughts sit there, it feels I will eventually act on them or believe them.
lately i’ve been having pretty bad ocd days but today was definitely one of my worst days. i just feel like such an awful person and the ocd is really eating at me. i try really hard, or i feel like i do sometimes. i try to talk to my mom and she says she understands but she doesn’t- and i hate it. i can’t even get dressed in certain clothing or watch a show i like anymore without ocd interfering. my mind is all over the place and i feel so helpless. i just wish it’d stop.
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