- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
It would be illegal to upload such content, let alone to molest anyone going in for a massage. Where was this posted?
- Date posted
- 6y
The fact that you are anxious about that tells me that it is OCD You can get though this Just don’t be afraid I have had several types of OCD: HOCD, POCD and ROCD (now) and I went though this, if I can, then you can do it as well Be brave, be powerful, everything is gonna be okay, I promise!
- Date posted
- 6y
It was on a site called redtube. I’d heard about it a while ago and I didn’t really want to search for sites I didn’t know. I’m not even sure what the video was because I only saw around 20 seconds. I just feel so guilty that I’ve seen some of it. And I don’t even know if it was a ‘hidden camera’ because from what I saw, the women didn’t seem to be uncomfortable with it. I don’t even fully remember the video but it was just a strange camera angle and the ‘sponsored by’ thing was just weird to me, and then I started to panic.
- Date posted
- 6y
These major websites put in a lot of effort to policing the content that goes on there. They could get into a LOT of trouble if they let something illegal in their site. I wouldn't worry too much about it
- Date posted
- 6y
@dariamerchant Thank you for your reply. Yes, that makes sense, I was suspecting it would be my OCD. Thank you ! I hope you get better too :) @deputydean yeah, that makes sense, the video just seemed weird to me, and then of course that led me to spiral and literally not think of anything else. I just feel terrible about it. Have you heard of the site before ? Is it one that would make sure the content it okay ?
- Date posted
- 6y
I've stopped going to those sites since a long time ago bc porn messes with your head on so many levels. Just stick to the known ones and you'll be fine.
- Date posted
- 6y
Okay. Thank you for the advice. If you don’t mind me asking ? In what ways does it mess with your head ? I just want to make sure I’m sling the right thing for myself. Someone told me it would help with the OCD but I don’t want to watch it if it’s not going to help.
- Date posted
- 6y
*Doing* not sling
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
Hi, I’m new here!! I’m praying I don’t get judged for this. But, back in late May of 2022 ( literally right before I graduated high school), I added this one random girl from my school on Snapchat. She posted something about a graduation party , so I swiped up on her story basically saying how I can’t believe we’re almost graduated. She replied and we had a really short and simple conversation. The next day ( i believe) , we started talking a lot , and I just so happened to see her at the highschool when we were grabbing our graduation outfits and doing the rehearsal. When I saw her irl, I kinda got turned off ( I heard she was kinda crazy) , and on top of that , she was a little ugly irl. I remember seeing her Snapchat bio , and she was close friends with my female cousin ( a year younger than me) , who I happened to experiment sexually with when I was 10-11 years old. I remember going to work later that day and having sort of a lightbulb flick thought ( it wasn’t a good thought though) , what if my cousin told her about what happened when we were younger? So I started to kind of panic and immediately distanced myself from that girl. I also experimented sexually with one of my female friends when I was 10-11 , and from that day onwards, I’ve been pretty much living in paranoia and a little bit of guilt about someone finding out and my life being ruined . On top of that, It’s gotten worse to now sometimes I wonder if a girl I added off of quick add ( Snapchat) is underage even if they told me they were 18+ or had 18 and above in their bio, and I get so much guilt and anxiety about that. I even had a quick thought last February on what if I did something inappropriate with my younger cousin when I was 15-16 but I just can’t exactly remember when it happened , and it still eats me alive when I think about it, because I don’t know if it happened or not. I’m sorry for the long vent, I just wish I felt normal again. No matter how much I try to do things that old me used to do, life always feels “ off”. I always kept the top part about when I was younger a secret up until early (ish ) 2024, then I vented to one of my best friends and he told me that that’s a normal thing to do at a young age. Since then, I have told multiple friends and they all say they did similar stuff, but my brain just can’t accept that. Please help me, I quite literally overthink everything nowadays. 2021 was the last full year that I felt normal ( coincidentally, the best year of my life so far) . It’s not just about sexual related things either, sometimes I’ll wonder if I messed up something at work or hit a car while driving/hit someone and drove off. I just wanna live my life how I was supposed to live it after highschool ( carefree and happy) before whatever it is ( I think it’s ocd) hit me unexpectedly. Thanks to anyone who read this , I just needed to pour it out regardless of how negative I felt typing this, I hope someone can relate , because I feel so alone in my head at times.
- Date posted
- 16w
Hey so a couple months ago (7-8) I remember being upset at my family member. Like she was talking too much while I was annoyed and remember wanting her to be quiet. I got an intrusive thought like a really bad image of doing something really bad to her, and my hand twitched to the side a little? Like it felt like I was about to?! And I remembered thinking "if I do this, I'll get in trouble". I got up and left to the bathroom and felt horrified! I was thinking "did I want to act out? Did the only reason I didn't act out was because of getting in trouble? If there was no consequences, would have I done it?! Does this mean this whole time I've been using OCD as an excuse?" I remember I couldn't sleep for 3 nights because of how bad the anxiety was, I was crying and I felt very guilty like I should turn myself in to a mental hospital. I couldn't eat for many days or be near her because of that thought and twitch I had! I'm worried it was an impulse or I actually wanted to hurt her. And even to this day I still ruminanate about this. Like last night I couldn't sleep well I kept waking up every two hours and asking myself "am I capable?" I couldn't eat last night. Sometimes I move on from it like I forget that happened but when I remember, I feel distressed about it! I don't want to be an evil person or do bad actions towards anyone! I'm even scared to be angry because of this because I'm scared I have more "chance" of acting out due to anger. Like was it an impulse and I held back? Is this even OCD? Please help, I'm really scared!
- Date posted
- 14w
I shouldn’t have done this (trigger trigger trigger!!) So about a month ago..maybe I watched this video (as a compulsion to prove to myself) The video was called “interview with a p3d0” And basically it was what it says, I watched or more like listened to half of it…after I was disgusted by the person, but now all I can think of is every little thing I do, I feel as if tho I’m monitoring every thought/moment and feeling I have it’s torturous and I hate it..I feel disgusting, the person in the video has empathy and sympathy and had those feelings yk, I can’t explain it you’d have to watch the video yourself but please don’t it will ruin your journey…I feel more hopeless then before, my OCD is telling me so many things trying to convince me things that Ik aren’t true, I’m just really scared I don’t want to be that person I want to be a good cousin and person to my family, I’m sick of my head and myself, I’m so tired that sometimes I can’t even think straight, my head is always in pain and idek how to help myself..compulsions have been becoming more and more exhausting… I need advice or even someone to relate to, I understand I shouldn’t have done what I did but idk how to forget it.. I had made this post already but when someone replied I couldn’t see it for some reason so I’m uploading it again
- Older adults with OCD
- Existential OCD
- POCD
- Young adults with OCD
- NOCD Therapy Alumni
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- "Pure" OCD
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond