Anyone else listen to the ocd stories podcast? It has been super helpful...the interviews with mark freeman and Jon Hershfield are inspirational and give a lot of hope but I was listening to the one with Aaron Harvey on intrusive thoughts and I found it incredibly triggering and brought me to tears at how incredibly graphic it was. I’m doing everything I can to not seek reassurance cause I know it’s a compulsion but I stopped listening after 20 minutes of out fear that he’s just going to say he still has the thoughts and no treatment has taken them away.

I love the interview with Jon Hershfield and have listened to it many times and think it might be a form of a compulsion because it makes so much sense to me and I find when I listen to it, it’s reassurance that I have ocd. Do any of you do that? Like I’ve listened to it at least 15 times lol.

Well just listen to another story on there. I was searching for EMDR stories and stumbled upon it. The follow talking said he has had a fear of death driving his OCD symptoms. He seeks ERP style visualizations about imagining his own death. He also emphasized befriending his OCD since it’s so much a part of his artwork and it breaks the pattern of resistance/safety seeking/anxiety about anxiety about anxiety.

You know what, maybe you’re on to something DollarMustache..I definitely have a fear of suffering and of what people think of me. Those beliefs could be fueling my obsessions...I’m proud of myself for sticking through the anxiety attack the podcast gave but my God was it hard as I just kept having intrusive thoughts about HIS intrusive thoughts lol. It’s never ending!

I LOVE the OCD stories podcast. I actually loved the Aaron Harvey one because of how detailed he was; it made me feel less alone and messed up. I think it’s important to do some reflection after listening and figure out why the things that bothered you triggered you so much.

But anyway, he has so many resources on his website too in his blog. He really gets ocd.

I haven’t listened to the podcast with Aaron Harvey, of course now I want to. But kind of scares me because It took me over 20 years also to get treatment for my harm and health ocd also. I also have that fear of never recovering, suffering for so long, it’s all my brain knows and is probably fueling my obsessions too. I think the key to recovery is self compassion, which is hard for all ocd sufferers. Erp has been harder than I thought it would be and I find myself being harsh with myself and I believe that is what is making me think i wont recover.

They were just so upsetting to picture visually. I’ve had similar thoughts and maybe I’m scared of creating new obsessions by hearing about his. I am trying to approach recovery like Mark Freeman says and see it as eventually I will take the steps to have no symptoms but hearing about Aaron’s story just left me feeling so unbelievably hopeless, like there’s no point in recovery because he hasn’t recovered at all...

Yes I’ve done that too and it probably for sure is a compulsion so we should all try to just listen once, take notes and absorb the info and then not listen again :) I know this is just me ruminating (another compulsion) but I can’t help but think that part of what’s taking Aaron longer to go into recovery is that fact that he went over 20 years undiagnosed. For me, mine has only been debilitating for about 2 years. The harm ocd started about 3 months ago is all so treatment might not be as hard for me, idk

I can understand that. In a way I’m kind of viewing that podcast as ERP. So it scares me too that I was so triggered so quickly and already have started ruminating over what he said in the podcast, (creating NEW obsessions!) I think the key is self compassion too. Because the past two days I was doing great, and now I’m back to 24/7 ruminating, intrusive thoughts are at an all time high and I’m feeling every physical symptom of anxiety I ever have. I need to figure out what got me here and keep practicing

Curious to talk more about this, but 11 days late to the party. Are you all still on this thread?

Yes!!

Word. So a couple thoughts: 1. Thank god for that podcast. Saved my ass! Stu, if you’re listening ✌️+ ? 2. I was also 100 percent triggered by that episode with Aaron Harvey (if it’s the one I’m thinking of? That razor blade detail, holy shimole). That said, I ultimately decided to keep listening because the more I delve into my own treatment, the more committed I am to leaning into what scares me. And there is something kind of hilarious about that OH SHIT reaction that immediately pops up when you encounter some new and wildly appalling thought that could possibly be added to your repertoire. Like OH NO, MY BRAIN HASN’T THOUGHT UP THAT SHIT OUT YET BUT MY GOD. Tempting to immediately put on your earmuffs. But I love the idea that we don’t have to be afraid. That all the craziest available ideas are just waiting to be plucked out of the air and that doesn’t necessarily have to rock our world. 3. Re-listening to compelling episodes is DEFINITELY reassurance seeking. It’s glorious not to feel alone, but chasing the high of having someone else confirm that we are, in fact, suffering from OCD in a way that feels really really good is detrimental to true progress and liberation. Similarly, I feel like this app functions as a constant stream of reassurance for a lot of users looking to have the fact of their OCD confirmed for them again and again and again, when the truth is that we need to lean into that dizzying place of not knowing / not needing to know.

Great advice Fivel! So I actually also made myself go back and finish this episode! And it didn’t end as badly as I thought. I think what triggered me mostly besides the detail of his thoughts was that he wasn’t responding to treatment (I have an issue comparing myself to others which this episode made me learn.) And one of my biggest fears is obtaining an incurable disease or disorder (guess I gotta face that one head on exposure or not lol.) How’s your recovery been so far Fivel??