- Date posted
- 6y ago
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I love the interview with Jon Hershfield and have listened to it many times and think it might be a form of a compulsion because it makes so much sense to me and I find when I listen to it, it’s reassurance that I have ocd. Do any of you do that? Like I’ve listened to it at least 15 times lol.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Well just listen to another story on there. I was searching for EMDR stories and stumbled upon it. The follow talking said he has had a fear of death driving his OCD symptoms. He seeks ERP style visualizations about imagining his own death. He also emphasized befriending his OCD since it’s so much a part of his artwork and it breaks the pattern of resistance/safety seeking/anxiety about anxiety about anxiety.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
You know what, maybe you’re on to something DollarMustache..I definitely have a fear of suffering and of what people think of me. Those beliefs could be fueling my obsessions...I’m proud of myself for sticking through the anxiety attack the podcast gave but my God was it hard as I just kept having intrusive thoughts about HIS intrusive thoughts lol. It’s never ending!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I LOVE the OCD stories podcast. I actually loved the Aaron Harvey one because of how detailed he was; it made me feel less alone and messed up. I think it’s important to do some reflection after listening and figure out why the things that bothered you triggered you so much.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
But anyway, he has so many resources on his website too in his blog. He really gets ocd.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I haven’t listened to the podcast with Aaron Harvey, of course now I want to. But kind of scares me because It took me over 20 years also to get treatment for my harm and health ocd also. I also have that fear of never recovering, suffering for so long, it’s all my brain knows and is probably fueling my obsessions too. I think the key to recovery is self compassion, which is hard for all ocd sufferers. Erp has been harder than I thought it would be and I find myself being harsh with myself and I believe that is what is making me think i wont recover.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
They were just so upsetting to picture visually. I’ve had similar thoughts and maybe I’m scared of creating new obsessions by hearing about his. I am trying to approach recovery like Mark Freeman says and see it as eventually I will take the steps to have no symptoms but hearing about Aaron’s story just left me feeling so unbelievably hopeless, like there’s no point in recovery because he hasn’t recovered at all...
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Yes I’ve done that too and it probably for sure is a compulsion so we should all try to just listen once, take notes and absorb the info and then not listen again :) I know this is just me ruminating (another compulsion) but I can’t help but think that part of what’s taking Aaron longer to go into recovery is that fact that he went over 20 years undiagnosed. For me, mine has only been debilitating for about 2 years. The harm ocd started about 3 months ago is all so treatment might not be as hard for me, idk
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I can understand that. In a way I’m kind of viewing that podcast as ERP. So it scares me too that I was so triggered so quickly and already have started ruminating over what he said in the podcast, (creating NEW obsessions!) I think the key is self compassion too. Because the past two days I was doing great, and now I’m back to 24/7 ruminating, intrusive thoughts are at an all time high and I’m feeling every physical symptom of anxiety I ever have. I need to figure out what got me here and keep practicing
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Curious to talk more about this, but 11 days late to the party. Are you all still on this thread?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Yes!!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Word. So a couple thoughts: 1. Thank god for that podcast. Saved my ass! Stu, if you’re listening ✌️+ ? 2. I was also 100 percent triggered by that episode with Aaron Harvey (if it’s the one I’m thinking of? That razor blade detail, holy shimole). That said, I ultimately decided to keep listening because the more I delve into my own treatment, the more committed I am to leaning into what scares me. And there is something kind of hilarious about that OH SHIT reaction that immediately pops up when you encounter some new and wildly appalling thought that could possibly be added to your repertoire. Like OH NO, MY BRAIN HASN’T THOUGHT UP THAT SHIT OUT YET BUT MY GOD. Tempting to immediately put on your earmuffs. But I love the idea that we don’t have to be afraid. That all the craziest available ideas are just waiting to be plucked out of the air and that doesn’t necessarily have to rock our world. 3. Re-listening to compelling episodes is DEFINITELY reassurance seeking. It’s glorious not to feel alone, but chasing the high of having someone else confirm that we are, in fact, suffering from OCD in a way that feels really really good is detrimental to true progress and liberation. Similarly, I feel like this app functions as a constant stream of reassurance for a lot of users looking to have the fact of their OCD confirmed for them again and again and again, when the truth is that we need to lean into that dizzying place of not knowing / not needing to know.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Great advice Fivel! So I actually also made myself go back and finish this episode! And it didn’t end as badly as I thought. I think what triggered me mostly besides the detail of his thoughts was that he wasn’t responding to treatment (I have an issue comparing myself to others which this episode made me learn.) And one of my biggest fears is obtaining an incurable disease or disorder (guess I gotta face that one head on exposure or not lol.) How’s your recovery been so far Fivel??
Related posts
- Date posted
- 18w ago
Where do I begin with this…….. so my OCD has been around since childhood and has had many themes over the years. I only realised I have it just over 2 years ago. I’ve tried many things to help it not be such a monster and thought I had a good grip on it for a length of time until now! Some of my strategies have been acceptance, change of perception of thoughts and sometimes on hard days just telling myself that no matter what, I have to be brave and go out and live life. In the last few months I’ve developed none OCD related anxiety as well and so have been looking at ways to help with that. Sunday morning I was just casually scrolling TikTok and a video only about 30 seconds long or so comes up, seemingly a therapist of some kind, straight away the video began something like “you cannot replace a thought with another thought” along the lines of “you can’t THINK your way out anxiety” I don’t know the full context of the video it wasn’t long enough, I don’t know who the therapist was I didn’t look but now purely because of that one sentence my OCD has gripped onto it so badly and is trying to tear down some of my strategies because I have used changing my thought patterns a lot to help me, self compassion etc but now because of that video I’m struggling! I’m not looking for answers but I am just really upset and it feels like I’m in an impossible grip of OCD again
- Date posted
- 18w ago
This might contain triggering content, but I'm also wondering if others have dealt with this similar thought, and if so, how to deal with it? Overall, I've been doing so well these past few days. I'm able to eat again, which I hadn't been able to do because of how much anxiety I'd been experiencing. I'm spending time around loved ones and not just rotting in my room, and I've been able to wake up without immediately being bombarded by intrusive thoughts. When things first got really bad, I'd wake my mom up every night for reassurance, but I haven't done that in a while either. I'm really proud of myself, but there's still this nagging thought in my mind... While looking through others posts on here, hoping to find advice that'd fit my situation, I ended up making things worse. Someone mentioned how they had a fear that they'd purposely search for illegal content (related to POCD). I panicked, and "what ifs" flooded my thoughts. "What if the intrusive thoughts affect who I am as a person, and I do that?" I'm terrified that I'll search for those things, which I know means I wouldn't do it. But then, another person on here said they'd actually looked for those things, and that freaked me out even more. Does that mean it's possible for that to happen to me? I don't want to do that, but I keep having intrusive thoughts surrounding it. I've been doing so well these past few days. I'm just... stuck. I don't know what to do. I've spoken with other people who have the same fears, but how do I manage this? It's not something I've even thought about before seeing those posts. I've been practicing accepting the uncertainty, but I'm really struggling with this one. I hate this. This morning, I woke up, and the intrusive thoughts were back. It's just disheartening.
- Date posted
- 14w ago
**TW for POCD** I’ve spoken about this a few times before. That urge I had to type in “child porn” into google. I talked to my NOCD therapist today about it. She told me the ERP for it was to type it in. She even did it with me. Obviously nothing but news stories, crime statistics, and photos someone would use for a project showed up. I’ve been so petrified of typing that in there. She wants me to do it every two hours and listen to what OCD will say. I typed it in that way, I typed it out full, and I typed it out with an additional word. I clicked and browsed through all the google tabs. I’m okay, but I can’t stop crying. I’m scared to do it again. She said it’s not likely going to get flagged due to people looking that up for research projects and stuff. I’m just afraid repeatedly searching it up will cause some sort of alert. I feel so scared and full of nerves. I guess that’s what the ERP is supposed to do, but it was so scary. So scary :(
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