One of my themes of OCD is POCD and I’m always obsessing about how someone becomes a pedo, were they born with it (and if they were born with it then what exactly caused them to be that way, is it genetic, is it due to childhood abuse/neglect? My OCD tries to constantly rationalize how they happen to have those sort of genuine attractions… and it starts to scare me that there isn’t an answer as to how people develop those attractions

Apparently I’ve read that some ps are attractive to older people too but I don’t buy it

@Kitkat1219 Right!!! My main compulsion is research too! I keep trying to find a difference between me and them and it’s like “omg they hate the idea of being one too, but they actually ARE”. And then it’s like how did they become that way??? I have to know how they became that way to justify that theres no way I am that way. Like what the formula that made them this way so I know not to raise my own kids a certain way either to ensure they don’t become that way.

Thank you for the article, I do know the difference between the diagnoses but for me it’s also like how did they become like that in the first place?

@ocdlizard Well from what I read on this article it is I think a sexual orientation they have towards children, it's in their genetic makeup

@Darthflower That’s what scares me is what if I have that gene?

@ocdlizard Please read the article carefully, I think you will learn from that

That’s what makes me wonder, what made them feel these attractions even if they had a normal upbringing?

@Ilovefinnickodair I relate to your story, this is exactly the same for me too. I think its honestly trauma. Please reas the article I shared in the comments. It explains this very well. And gives a clear distiction.

@Ilovefinnickodair Another thing to remember and I did learn through study was that you do maintain some minimal attraction to the teenage age group into your adult years. Over time this becomes less and less but you will still "notice" younger people. It's just biological. If that was what we wanted, we would have been acted on it by now.

@Ilovefinnickodair the article should be free, you can even try downloading

@Ilovefinnickodair Same I’ve always been attracted to men my age and usually older to be honest

@Ilovefinnickodair My pocd started when I was 19 and before I was 19 I didn’t even know that pedophilia existed as a “sexual preference”. So it really freaked me out. I also always wanted to be a pediatric nurse and I still am aiming for that as I’m in nursing school but pocd definitely makes me feel very much like I should avoid my profession but I know that’s giving into ocd. It’s really an awful ocd to have.

@Darthflower I can’t access it either unfortunately, I’d love to read it

@bigsmithe05 That’s true… I think what’s a distinction with ps are that they are attracted to prepubescent and that’s when the really serious creepy stuff happens. Yes, teenage years and older it’s minimal and you notice them but less and less over the years cause they are post pubescent but what freaks me out to is if I’m possibly noticing prepubescent and that scares the lights out of me.

@Ilovefinnickodair My brain also tricks me and says “do you like this kid, he has pretty eyes” or “if he grows up he’ll be such a handsome man!” And I’m like what the heck! Am I attracted to that kid! No way!! What if I subconsciously do… and then it tumbles

@ocdlizard It's probably relatively normal for people to "predict" that. I seem to hear that all the time. "Oh he/she will be a heartbreaker when they are older". They don't have OCD so it's whatever when they say it. I've also heard that part of ERP in POCD is to go all in on the accusation. Along the lines of "Yeah, I am attracted to that kid. Hell yeah.". Once you agree with it, it's like "oh... Ok then". Sounds like it's hard in practice though lol.

@bigsmithe05 that makes me laugh “ya I’m attracted to that kid, he’ll yah” LOL what on gods green earth are we dealing with

@bigsmithe05 I hate to agree with it though I know it’s ERP but I still don’t want to let myself in the position to be a p it’s so like normalizing it?

@Ilovefinnickodair Preach!!!

@Ilovefinnickodair I try to remember that before I was OCD about it, I wasn't. I just.....lived. My themes are sometimes based around having an illness. Those were easy lol. I didn't die so after a certain time I was good. Also I think about the times when I'm in situations where I've gotten sexual intrusive thoughts in the past and didn't have them on a particular day maybe because I was distracted by the good time I was having or whatever. I find myself consciously looking back and saying "wow you forgot to be weird... Ain't that something?". Creeps and weirdos are that way by design. We have thoughts precisely because we are afraid to have them. Quick! Don't think of a pink elephant for the next minute! Same concept.

@Ilovefinnickodair I think it’s because we truly care about kids and want to nurture kids that idea of pedophilia bother us so much. I’ve noticed my boyfriend could give two less shits about pedophilia (he isn’t one of course) because he isn’t really that crazy nurturing type and honestly doesn’t like kids all that much

@ocdlizard You take away the power of the thought over you when you don't give it the time of day. I guess the goal is to get to the point where when you get accused of being attracted or whatever, you just shrug and say "it's possible" and move on like nothing is wrong and assume you are good instead of trying to prove it to your OCD.... Like I do all the time haha

@ocdlizard Right OCD sufferers are usually more conscientious and thus these accusations are devastating.

@bigsmithe05 I agree with you.

@bigsmithe05 Now my mind goes to I know creeps and weirdos are like that in design but how the heck do they become creeps and weirdos (pedos) like how did they even develop that way…

@ocdlizard Yea that messed me up to. I had a thought one night saying "I wonder what that's like?" as in CP and all that. I was devastated by this. Was this genuine interest!?!! Logical me should of known better. It was just a question. The answer is obvious. I do have some amazement at the fact that people break the law and everything to consume it though. How is that worth it to see kids who are being abused or taken advantage of in some way? Oh that's right they are attracted to kids. Duh.