- Date posted
- 3y ago
- Date posted
- 3y ago
This is how it started with me too. Constantly trying to understand the behaviour that it felt as if I was almost overtaken by that type of personality. What ever the reason may be, they have no self control on their own behaviour I think. Reading this triggered me a bit not gonna lie, but I believe that the difference witg pocd is that we struggle daily, constantly stress about it and have sleepless nights over it. We get triggered and have panick attacks. We cry about the thoughts and stay frozen by the thoughts. We try to neutralize the thoughts or do other compulsions to help us relax a bit. It's debilitating. It ruins our lives. We wish weren't so easy to convince. Our first instinct is fear. Because we know that it's just not really us. That is OCD. I don't think pedofiles deal with a fraction of what we have to deal with.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Key thing I think also is they know they are pedophiles way before they know it's wrong. I've had OCD since like 12 and didn't understand it until like 25-26. The attraction doesn't really bother them. They just feel it and it's strong, persistent, and the PRIMARY or ONLY attraction. You can find a teenager attractive, but they aren't your "favorite" compared to a more mature women. You also don't like older women LESS than kids either.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Apparently I’ve read that some ps are attractive to older people too but I don’t buy it
- Date posted
- 3y ago
On top of that I worry about the false attractions being true. I’ve read stories about people who are pedos saying they genuinely hate being like that and wish they weren’t like that and it makes me realize that pedos aren’t inherently bad people they just have those attractions, but it makes it hard for me to say “well I’m a good person there’s no way I could be a pedo”. Because it seems like many pedos are non offending and have empathy and understand that it is a bad thing to offend yet they are the way they are, and that freaks me out so much.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Kitkat1219 Right!!! My main compulsion is research too! I keep trying to find a difference between me and them and it’s like “omg they hate the idea of being one too, but they actually ARE”. And then it’s like how did they become that way??? I have to know how they became that way to justify that theres no way I am that way. Like what the formula that made them this way so I know not to raise my own kids a certain way either to ensure they don’t become that way.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
please read this, especially the part under differential diagnosis
- Date posted
- 3y ago
It explaina the scientfically researched differences between pocd and pedophilia
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Thank you for the article, I do know the difference between the diagnoses but for me it’s also like how did they become like that in the first place?
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@ocdlizard Well from what I read on this article it is I think a sexual orientation they have towards children, it's in their genetic makeup
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Darthflower That’s what scares me is what if I have that gene?
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@ocdlizard Please read the article carefully, I think you will learn from that
- Date posted
- 3y ago
some pedo may feel ashamed or even know what they do is wrong based on upbringing or religiois beliefs they were brought up with, but they don't actually feel distressing feelings at all when they have these thoughts
- Date posted
- 3y ago
That’s what makes me wonder, what made them feel these attractions even if they had a normal upbringing?
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Yes, so in a way they prefer it, than to be in normal adult relationships. And I think that's the biggest distinction
- Date posted
- 3y ago
They've made a concious choice to engage in that, and don't like adult relationships really
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Ilovefinnickodair I relate to your story, this is exactly the same for me too. I think its honestly trauma. Please reas the article I shared in the comments. It explains this very well. And gives a clear distiction.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Ilovefinnickodair Another thing to remember and I did learn through study was that you do maintain some minimal attraction to the teenage age group into your adult years. Over time this becomes less and less but you will still "notice" younger people. It's just biological. If that was what we wanted, we would have been acted on it by now.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Ilovefinnickodair the article should be free, you can even try downloading
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Ilovefinnickodair Same I’ve always been attracted to men my age and usually older to be honest
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Ilovefinnickodair My pocd started when I was 19 and before I was 19 I didn’t even know that pedophilia existed as a “sexual preference”. So it really freaked me out. I also always wanted to be a pediatric nurse and I still am aiming for that as I’m in nursing school but pocd definitely makes me feel very much like I should avoid my profession but I know that’s giving into ocd. It’s really an awful ocd to have.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Darthflower I can’t access it either unfortunately, I’d love to read it
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@bigsmithe05 That’s true… I think what’s a distinction with ps are that they are attracted to prepubescent and that’s when the really serious creepy stuff happens. Yes, teenage years and older it’s minimal and you notice them but less and less over the years cause they are post pubescent but what freaks me out to is if I’m possibly noticing prepubescent and that scares the lights out of me.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Ilovefinnickodair My brain also tricks me and says “do you like this kid, he has pretty eyes” or “if he grows up he’ll be such a handsome man!” And I’m like what the heck! Am I attracted to that kid! No way!! What if I subconsciously do… and then it tumbles
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@ocdlizard It's probably relatively normal for people to "predict" that. I seem to hear that all the time. "Oh he/she will be a heartbreaker when they are older". They don't have OCD so it's whatever when they say it. I've also heard that part of ERP in POCD is to go all in on the accusation. Along the lines of "Yeah, I am attracted to that kid. Hell yeah.". Once you agree with it, it's like "oh... Ok then". Sounds like it's hard in practice though lol.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@bigsmithe05 that makes me laugh “ya I’m attracted to that kid, he’ll yah” LOL what on gods green earth are we dealing with
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@bigsmithe05 I hate to agree with it though I know it’s ERP but I still don’t want to let myself in the position to be a p it’s so like normalizing it?
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Ilovefinnickodair Preach!!!
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Ilovefinnickodair I try to remember that before I was OCD about it, I wasn't. I just.....lived. My themes are sometimes based around having an illness. Those were easy lol. I didn't die so after a certain time I was good. Also I think about the times when I'm in situations where I've gotten sexual intrusive thoughts in the past and didn't have them on a particular day maybe because I was distracted by the good time I was having or whatever. I find myself consciously looking back and saying "wow you forgot to be weird... Ain't that something?". Creeps and weirdos are that way by design. We have thoughts precisely because we are afraid to have them. Quick! Don't think of a pink elephant for the next minute! Same concept.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Ilovefinnickodair I think it’s because we truly care about kids and want to nurture kids that idea of pedophilia bother us so much. I’ve noticed my boyfriend could give two less shits about pedophilia (he isn’t one of course) because he isn’t really that crazy nurturing type and honestly doesn’t like kids all that much
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@ocdlizard You take away the power of the thought over you when you don't give it the time of day. I guess the goal is to get to the point where when you get accused of being attracted or whatever, you just shrug and say "it's possible" and move on like nothing is wrong and assume you are good instead of trying to prove it to your OCD.... Like I do all the time haha
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@ocdlizard Right OCD sufferers are usually more conscientious and thus these accusations are devastating.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@bigsmithe05 I agree with you.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@bigsmithe05 Now my mind goes to I know creeps and weirdos are like that in design but how the heck do they become creeps and weirdos (pedos) like how did they even develop that way…
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@ocdlizard Yea that messed me up to. I had a thought one night saying "I wonder what that's like?" as in CP and all that. I was devastated by this. Was this genuine interest!?!! Logical me should of known better. It was just a question. The answer is obvious. I do have some amazement at the fact that people break the law and everything to consume it though. How is that worth it to see kids who are being abused or taken advantage of in some way? Oh that's right they are attracted to kids. Duh.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
It’s this sort of situation where if pedos hate being pedos themselves how do I know I’m not one? And that means I could have easily been born one?
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I don’t think they deal with a fraction but at the same time I always wonder why they are the way they are and my mind won’t stop - they truly are this way and it scares me to know that most of they aren’t bad horrible monsters but people like you and me in society that had somewhat of a similar childhood. I want to have a justification that I would have never been that way and that there is seriously something that went wrong with them to make me feel better but I know I’ll never get that validation.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Mostly genetics
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I personally don't feel this way actually, its not really an attraction at all. The respons is a reaction to wrong links that your brain made trough trauma's. Which is where my ocd came from.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 13w ago
Trying not to seek reassurance, but rather connect the dots on my OCD and possible reasons as to why I am the way I am. I have severe OCD (or at least I hope I do) mainly surrounding POCD. I've had symptoms of OCD the majority of my life but this theme has come up more recently. When I was a kid, and i'm talking 6-7, I was first exposed to some really gross adult content online. It was introduced to me by a friend of mine around the same age of me. I saw some really disgusting things that a 6-7 year old should definitely not see. This was not a one time occurrence, as I had been exposed to taboo topics online years to come after that, such as the same friend introducing me to Omegle... And i'm sure you can imagine how that went, theres a lot of genuinely disgusting human beings on there. Coming back to the reason for making this post; is it possible to early exposure to this content could be one of the reasons I struggle with POCD? It genuinely scares me to death because you hear that real p*dos dealt with simular situations when they were kids, so thats kind of making me feel that this could be more than OCD, and I could be a genuinely bad person. My POCD feels so real, that at times i'm fully convinced its not OCD. Sometimes I can't even distinguish the feelings of attraction between a younger person and an older person, except for the feeling of anxiety and fear. Its really hard to explain without going into detail, but it just feels so real. Some feedback on this would be great, thank you all.
- Young adults with OCD
- Students with OCD
- False Memory OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- "Pure" OCD
- POCD
- LGBTQ+ with OCD
- Date posted
- 11w ago
Does anyone else struggle with this? It's been the main thing powering my POCD, and it's only been getting worse. Especially when I see posts online of people sharing their personal stories relating to CSA, specifically grooming. It's so triggering now, but before this theme developed, the most I'd feel while reading posts like that would be disgust targeted towards people who did those things. Now, my first thought is, "What if I do something like that one day? What if I've done it before and I don't remember or didn't know I was doing it?" I have many, many different intrusive thoughts or worries related to this theme, but it all circles back to this specific fear that I'll become like the people who hurt and took advantage of me. Does anyone have advice for this? I'm not sure if I've asked a similar question in the past or not, but is this something I need to deal with separately before beginning ERP for OCD? I'm just curious and also lost on where to begin with all of this. I'm just glad I'm able to begin working through all of these issues now, rather than later in life when I'd probably have a lot more responsibilities. Anyways, any feedback is appreciated! 🤍
- POCD
- "Pure" OCD
- Real Events OCD
- Older adults with OCD
- OCD newbies
- Young adults with OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 9w ago
(20f) I have been dealing with severe OCD symptoms for as long as I can remember. I recently got diagnosed about a year ago, and even though I know that these thoughts are probably my ocd, I still cant shake them. Growing up I was always very sexually curious. I was sheltered from a lot of things, as I went to a private school and things like sexuality and sex were never talked about. I remember doing some weird sexual things growing up (never affecting another person), looking up taboo sexual things, etc. I always seemed to become aroused no matter what the situation was, even if I just saw someone getting changed. I have no recollection of being SA'd, so i'm wondering where this all came from? Was I just curious and wanted to experiment and try different things? Or am I really a pervert, pedophile, etc. I have all these thoughts racing through my head and it's killing me. Everything I did as a kid I look back on and am disgusted, as those don't align with my views at all today. I never thought growing up thinking these things were wrong, or actually realize what they were until I got older. I'd like to think it was just my curiosity, but i'm not sure. What if i'm in denial and actually do like these things? I just need to know if theres something wrong w me, I cant keep going on like this. Could really use some advice.
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