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- 4y
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- 4y
I've dealt with the same fear many times and posts like that are super triggering! It's because these things- butterflies, crushes, being in love - cannot really be generalised because even if there might be similarities in describing them, they are veeeery subjective feelings that each of us experiences in a different way. OCD makes us obsess about identifying with a clear definition that doesn't exist, it is something we could only in ourselves but how can we do that if we don't trust our own gut anymore? In the end we have to accept that we might never know 100% what our feelings are or were exactly, and that is ok. We don't have to be sure even if OCD tells us otherwise...
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- 4y
Thank you so much! This was so helpful, really helped me to try accept the uncertainty again as I was very much in a “it’s all true omg” state of mine, which was very upsetting because I’ve been doing so well recently. So thank you :)
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- 4y
@Melodyocd I am so glad it was helpful. It's so hard to accept that we might never be 100% and comfortable, but I hope it will get easier the more we practice.
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- 4y
What an insightful reply thanks :)
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- 4y
If you see things about rules to feel a certain way ignore them. There’s no rules in how to act, how to dress, how relationships feel; etc
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- 4y
Yeah I know you’re right deep down, I guess it’s just that fear of not knowing who I really am/ lying to myself. Like I just keep thinking “what if I am gay/bi” and I just haven’t realised. Trying really hard to not push the thoughts away and say maybe but it’s so tiring
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- 4y
@Melodyocd It’s tiring but the more you just laugh and say yep maybe the more it goes away
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- 4y
@Justmesadly Yeah I’ve been doing more of that lately as well as cutting out pretty much all my compulsions and I’ve felt so much better. Still have slip ups and I’ve been really bad at doing erp tho
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- 4y
@Melodyocd Give yourself grace! You can’t be perfect at it all the time! Cutting complusions is huge and a good step! Keep going
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@Justmesadly Thank you!
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- 4y
This! This is what brings my hocd back everytime, this specific trigger. I feel so anxious and, not really disgusted but a feeling like I actually rather be alone than being with him etc. like I am scared that I don’t experience the same feelings towards guys that my friends do and how Its supposed to feel. All the dates I have been on for the past 3 years have all turned out bad and I haven’t really felt that “good honeymoon” feeling ever in my life? I wonder everyday what’s wrong with me and then HOCD comes and says “stop fooling yourself it’s because you want a woman!” It’s so hard
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- 4y
Yeah I feel the exact same way. I mean I think it’s just because I’m 21 and never had a relationship, so they always seem so scary for me because it’s so out of my comfort zone and I’d have no clue what to do. But then of course I get the same doubts you described like “what if it’s because you don’t like men and you would prefer being with women”
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- 4y
I was recently talking to an old friend of mine about the time it takes for friendships to really develop into something deep (often a few years) and how it is kind of paradox to expect us to feel the deepest love within a few days or weeks when it comes to romantic relationships. There is so much pressure on how it is supposed to feel.. I don't mean that people should stay in relationships where they are uncomfortable or unhappy or to invalidate the feelings of those who fall in love fast but everyone has a different timeline...
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- 4y
@Shoeshifter Yeah that’s a very good point tbf, I guess everyone expects it to be like the movies where it’s live at first sight
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- 4y
@Melodyocd It is for sure a different timeline! With my ex i was writing in my diary that I loved him right away but I think it took 6 months for me to realize I wanted to marry him and he says it took 1 month but then he broke up with me 😭
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- 4y
i deleted twitter because of how many triggers there were, especially about comphet
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- 4y
aare you okay though you need anything?
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- 4y
@Nour04 Yeah it’s very triggering, I feel like if I delete it it would be avoidance tho :(
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w
I have been doing okay for the past week or so and was really happy i felt that i was getting back on track, but today i went on tiktok and i saw something triggering which was “i thought i was a lesbian for 4 years until i met my now boyfriend” and it triggered me very badly, i have been crying all day and i can’t seem to make myself feel okay. i feel like im lying to myself that im not lesbian and i truly want men, but when i get any thought about men it feels disgusting and wrong and not me, i don’t want men i feel so sick i want to get out of this. i always felt so happy as a lesbian im so stuck i don’t want to be with a man. i have a loving girlfriend i just want to be happy with her.
- Date posted
- 17w
I’m like 90% sure I’m just bi, more romantically inclined to men, mainly my bf who I wanna marry. But now my brain is like “if you lean into liking women or keep circling and circling for answers you’ll lose all attraction to men and your bf. You’re practically already a lesbian” I feel so tense and anxious I will admit I am talking to chat gpt out of desperation I’m scared of losing all attraction to him I don’t wanna be thinking about women. I don’t unless I’m really stressed cuz when I’m stressed my ocd can take advantage of that I can usually ground myself when I’m in the city with him but I’m back home for most of the summer and I can’t be physically close to him which usually reminds me that hey this is real this is what I really want in life. Him But then I panic and question I haven’t been here in a while tbh. I’m worried I don’t feel enough. I don’t like magic Mike all that much, I like softer guys. But now the fact I don’t like/get turned on by random men on tv but do women in lingerie really stresses me out and makes me worry I’m truly a lesbian but I’m not. Once I started getting to know my bf and my ex bf’s I really did truly genuinely like them and wanted to make out and everything. Idk can anyone relate to the not liking big buff men All my brain is repeating rn is “when he dies you’ll be able to date a woman, when you break up you’ll only wanna date women” and it’s stressing me out. It’s making me nauseous. I was doing well for about a couple days after I initially left but being at home has been so incredibly draining This might give you a vision of how stressful home is: I’ve been on nexplanon for 7 months ish? Only had very minimal spotting during a stressful school period. Today: fully bleeding, like a usual period. I haven’t had my period since having it put in. I wanna go back to my bf so badly rn. I’m so worried I’m faking or don’t feel enough. I’m learning what a healthy relationship looks like and I’m terrified I’m gonna up and leave him when we’re older cuz I’ll finally figure out that I’m a lesbian or smthn. Idk. Someone pls just help me out a tad
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- Sexual Orientation OCD
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- Students with OCD
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- Date posted
- 16w
I watched the trailer for the movie “Am I Ok?” and got completely triggered. Basically a 32 yo woman discovers she’s a lesbian seemingly out of nowhere. I was triggers and did some research (bad idea) and apparently some people who are gay have never had romantic or sexual interest in people of the same sex until one spontaneous moment of discovery. Now I’m worried that this could be me!! I’ve never had a long term relationship, have had crushes and fantasies but back out when things get too close for me. I do prefer my little fantasy world guy but now I’m wondering if maybe I missed something and am in denial, even if I didn’t know it.
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