- Date posted
- 3y ago
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I've dealt with the same fear many times and posts like that are super triggering! It's because these things- butterflies, crushes, being in love - cannot really be generalised because even if there might be similarities in describing them, they are veeeery subjective feelings that each of us experiences in a different way. OCD makes us obsess about identifying with a clear definition that doesn't exist, it is something we could only in ourselves but how can we do that if we don't trust our own gut anymore? In the end we have to accept that we might never know 100% what our feelings are or were exactly, and that is ok. We don't have to be sure even if OCD tells us otherwise...
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Thank you so much! This was so helpful, really helped me to try accept the uncertainty again as I was very much in a “it’s all true omg” state of mine, which was very upsetting because I’ve been doing so well recently. So thank you :)
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Melodyocd I am so glad it was helpful. It's so hard to accept that we might never be 100% and comfortable, but I hope it will get easier the more we practice.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
What an insightful reply thanks :)
- Date posted
- 3y ago
If you see things about rules to feel a certain way ignore them. There’s no rules in how to act, how to dress, how relationships feel; etc
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Yeah I know you’re right deep down, I guess it’s just that fear of not knowing who I really am/ lying to myself. Like I just keep thinking “what if I am gay/bi” and I just haven’t realised. Trying really hard to not push the thoughts away and say maybe but it’s so tiring
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Melodyocd It’s tiring but the more you just laugh and say yep maybe the more it goes away
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Justmesadly Yeah I’ve been doing more of that lately as well as cutting out pretty much all my compulsions and I’ve felt so much better. Still have slip ups and I’ve been really bad at doing erp tho
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Melodyocd Give yourself grace! You can’t be perfect at it all the time! Cutting complusions is huge and a good step! Keep going
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Justmesadly Thank you!
- Date posted
- 3y ago
This! This is what brings my hocd back everytime, this specific trigger. I feel so anxious and, not really disgusted but a feeling like I actually rather be alone than being with him etc. like I am scared that I don’t experience the same feelings towards guys that my friends do and how Its supposed to feel. All the dates I have been on for the past 3 years have all turned out bad and I haven’t really felt that “good honeymoon” feeling ever in my life? I wonder everyday what’s wrong with me and then HOCD comes and says “stop fooling yourself it’s because you want a woman!” It’s so hard
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Yeah I feel the exact same way. I mean I think it’s just because I’m 21 and never had a relationship, so they always seem so scary for me because it’s so out of my comfort zone and I’d have no clue what to do. But then of course I get the same doubts you described like “what if it’s because you don’t like men and you would prefer being with women”
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I was recently talking to an old friend of mine about the time it takes for friendships to really develop into something deep (often a few years) and how it is kind of paradox to expect us to feel the deepest love within a few days or weeks when it comes to romantic relationships. There is so much pressure on how it is supposed to feel.. I don't mean that people should stay in relationships where they are uncomfortable or unhappy or to invalidate the feelings of those who fall in love fast but everyone has a different timeline...
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Shoeshifter Yeah that’s a very good point tbf, I guess everyone expects it to be like the movies where it’s live at first sight
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Melodyocd It is for sure a different timeline! With my ex i was writing in my diary that I loved him right away but I think it took 6 months for me to realize I wanted to marry him and he says it took 1 month but then he broke up with me 😭
- Date posted
- 3y ago
i deleted twitter because of how many triggers there were, especially about comphet
- Date posted
- 3y ago
aare you okay though you need anything?
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Nour04 Yeah it’s very triggering, I feel like if I delete it it would be avoidance tho :(
Related posts
- Date posted
- 14w ago
Idk what else to title this. I was watching a film cooper video cuz why not and he mentioned smthn about wall paper customization and icons and stuff and I just kinda had a groinal response followed by the memory of me having my first crush on a woman (my friend at the time) that helped me figure out that I’m bi and I felt kinda intensely for her but that’s cuz a) it was new and b) we were kinda on again off again friends who haven’t spoken in a few years now and I’m over her entirely. It was toxic I think. She was too much like the person who bullied me in elementary school (they were friends as well so my mom made me cut her off which is. Fair. Made me really sad but eh that’s life) I saw her at prom cuz someone brought her. It was nice to see her but yeah that was it. And now I’m mentally comparing what I felt for women in the past (idk intense crush, listening to a lot of gay songs (think she by dodie) dressing semi masc cuz funky, we had nicknames for each other despite not dating or anything) to men (less intense crush but still big crush, I’ve only dated and kissed men so sparks rhere) and now I’m just slightly nauseous and worried that I don’t like men as much as I like women but I think that’s normal for any bi person? To have different levels of attraction to different genders? Idk I feel gross and icky now like I shouldn’t even be thinking about it or her cuz I have a bf. And I do look fondly upon it, now I’m nervous cuz I got more excited about her calling me a specific nickname than I do from my bf calling me honey even at the beginning? Honey felt more traditional and I love it but we do switch around nicknames and it’s always nice, not many butterflies anymore, and sometimes I get anxious when he does lately, if it’s a nickname in Portuguese. Or if he called me a shortened version of my name. What does that mean? I’m nervous now. I was doing half decently today now I’m nauseous again. I’m worried that cuz I liked the nicknames she and I had that means I don’t like the ones my bf and I have and that I just don’t like him or men cuz I’ve been feeling off around him. But I love when he calls me honey, it still feels good when he does it now but no butterflies. Idk what’s wrong with me. Is it even ocd at this point. Even if I do like women slightly more it doesn’t erase that I love my bf. I’m worried I’m leaning too much towards women tho and I’m a lesbian. Idk if my bi cycle is cycling or if I’m just a lesbian entirely cuz I don’t feel much when my bf takes off his shirt, sex feels different, and things feel stale and slow. But maybe that’s cuz I’m checking and comparing. Now I’m anxious fuck. I’m trying not to think about her idk why. I’m worried I still find her attractive or am attracted to her or smthn. She’s in my city. I didn’t care before but now I do. Or if I think about her I’ll think about other women and will only want to have sec with women which not really tbh. I wanna be able to enjoy sec with my bf. It just hasn’t felt right lately cuz I’ve been so depressed and obsessive. I wasn’t obsessing much last night when we had sex but it still didn’t feel passionate. It didn’t feel uncomfortable but I thought it’d be more? Idk. I know it’s normal to not feel him inside me cuz the vagina isn’t very nerved up compared to the clitoris but it felt like more the motions. But tbh. I needed it. Idk I wanted to have sex and it was a nice stress relief. I just didn’t feel butterflies which kinda bummed me out but we’ve been having sex since august so that’s normal. Idk. I haven’t been able to fantasize about sex. The fact that I’m bi makes all of this so confusing. Cuz yes hypothetically I can enjoy the thought of sex with a woman. But I don’t want to rn cuz I’m dating a man. And I can’t fantasize about sex with him cuz I’m getting intrusive thoughts about my friends and I having sex. I have this urge to watch porn cuz it’s been a while but I’m not going to. I’ve cut down a lot on masturbation. Partially cuz this partially cuz I wanna do things with my bf (when I’m mentally ok) but jow my brain is saying “Oo you think all these women are so hot you’re gonna go feral blah blah blah” and yes women are hot but I don’t wanna have sex with a woman. Idk saying women are hot doesn’t bring me anxiety but the thought of sex with one or leaving my bf and saying I’m a lesbian bother me. Cuz I know it’s not true. I love him I know that. I’d be happy if we stayed together. I wouldn’t regret a thing honestly. I like having sex with him. Idc if it’s not like porn or the movies. As long as I’m being pleasured and he’s being pleasured we’re good. That’s what sex is about. I think the loss of butterflies is normal cuz the excitement of like (sorry tmi) fingering and oral eventually wears off right? But still feels good. I don’t feel as excited about intimacy anymore cuz we have done it so often but it still feels nice. But my brain perceives that as me not liking sex with men and therefore I’m gay. No I just don’t feel the need to jump his bones every single time I see him?? Idk the friend thing is bothering me. Idk if I feel any joy behind it. The groinal response really really throws my perception off
- Students with OCD
- Sexual Orientation OCD
- OCD newbies
- LGBTQ+ with OCD
- Relationship OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 9w ago
Hey everyone so I am having a really terrible bout of anxiety due to an exam I have tomorrow. It has sent me spiraling. And unfortunately my ROCD/anxiety has gotten ridiculously triggered. So I had a birthday party this past weekend. I got all dressed up and put on some cute makeup. It was a lot of fun. I then posted some pics from the party, some of them included him. They were cute! I had never posted him in anything in my feed. So I was a little nervy. I was hoping he would comment something on the post or repost or something, but he just dropped a like. I feel like he usually comments on posts that he is tagged in, so for some reason this really hurt me that he didn’t comment or interact more with it. Like he doesn’t like I posted it? Or is he ashamed of me? I don’t want to be shallow, but some validation on social media would be nice? Or maybe him just posting me would feel nice. I want to talk to him about this, but I am so terrified that this will make me seem so shallow and a fein for public validation. I’m worried he thinks this of me, as I have posted on social media. I’m worried this makes him like me less. Someone please provide some expertise on how it would be best to handle these circumstances, as silly and minescule as they may seem. I’ve read a lot online (I know it’s not good) about how to handle relationships online. I know it’s more important obviously how the relationship appears offline. But I’ve been pretty obsessive about this and have a hard time letting it go. Part of me wished I never posted anything. All of this anxiety could have been avoided.
- Date posted
- 7w ago
I cant afford therapy which is why i’m not diagnosed with ocd. The first time i had heard what ocd was truly abt was 6 years ago when i overthinking my sexual identity and it fit. Additionally, i struggle with debilitating health anxiety and when i was in a rlt i was extremely anxious that i might not love my partner. This is the third year i experience distress around my sexuality but this year it feels real. And it could also explain my rlt anxiety. Comphet is a concept that really scares me. I dont want to be with a girl. I would rather die than discover i was lesbian. I cant accept uncertainty cz i dont want to be homosexual. Chat GPT told me it wasnt ocd + the thoughts dont distress me anymore. I experience 3 intense weeks of anxiety prior to now. Maybe its internalized homophobia. Maybe its comphet. I do find women to be attractive but i dont wanna be with them. Maybe i’m in denial. Idk anything anymore. I’m remembering times where i would find an actress attractive and try to shift my focus towards the man cz it would make me anxious. I’m not well at all.
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