Just got really triggered Saw a post on Twitter saying “does he give you butterflies or are you just disgusted by him” and all of the comments were full of women saying this is how they knew they were lesbians. I’ve always gotten really anxious before dates and the idea of relationships, so this is a huge trigger for me. Trying to sit with the anxiety and accept uncertainty but it’s so difficult :(

Thank you so much! This was so helpful, really helped me to try accept the uncertainty again as I was very much in a “it’s all true omg” state of mine, which was very upsetting because I’ve been doing so well recently. So thank you :)

@Melodyocd I am so glad it was helpful. It's so hard to accept that we might never be 100% and comfortable, but I hope it will get easier the more we practice.

What an insightful reply thanks :)

Yeah I know you’re right deep down, I guess it’s just that fear of not knowing who I really am/ lying to myself. Like I just keep thinking “what if I am gay/bi” and I just haven’t realised. Trying really hard to not push the thoughts away and say maybe but it’s so tiring

@Melodyocd It’s tiring but the more you just laugh and say yep maybe the more it goes away

@Justmesadly Yeah I’ve been doing more of that lately as well as cutting out pretty much all my compulsions and I’ve felt so much better. Still have slip ups and I’ve been really bad at doing erp tho

@Melodyocd Give yourself grace! You can’t be perfect at it all the time! Cutting complusions is huge and a good step! Keep going

@Justmesadly Thank you!

Yeah I feel the exact same way. I mean I think it’s just because I’m 21 and never had a relationship, so they always seem so scary for me because it’s so out of my comfort zone and I’d have no clue what to do. But then of course I get the same doubts you described like “what if it’s because you don’t like men and you would prefer being with women”

I was recently talking to an old friend of mine about the time it takes for friendships to really develop into something deep (often a few years) and how it is kind of paradox to expect us to feel the deepest love within a few days or weeks when it comes to romantic relationships. There is so much pressure on how it is supposed to feel.. I don't mean that people should stay in relationships where they are uncomfortable or unhappy or to invalidate the feelings of those who fall in love fast but everyone has a different timeline...

@Shoeshifter Yeah that’s a very good point tbf, I guess everyone expects it to be like the movies where it’s live at first sight

@Melodyocd It is for sure a different timeline! With my ex i was writing in my diary that I loved him right away but I think it took 6 months for me to realize I wanted to marry him and he says it took 1 month but then he broke up with me 😭

aare you okay though you need anything?

@Nour04 Yeah it’s very triggering, I feel like if I delete it it would be avoidance tho :(