camerongrace
- Date posted
- 4y
dommydommy
- Date posted
- 4y
It honestly made not difference for me as by the time I was diagnosed I already knew I had it so instead of googling and researching all at once it was kind of a gradual over time thing. It’s definitely not fun to google stuff and feel worse I feel your pain. I just avoid googling now as I see it more of a compulsion
Lms526Lms526
- Date posted
- 4y
So my story is a little different. I started experiencing intrusive thoughts when I was 8. But OCD was never even on my radar until last month. I never told anyone about what I was experiencing wasn't normal. I thought everyone struggled the way I did. Once I knew what to look for, I saw many different things at various time thorought my life. Once I started to suspect I had OCD, I knew this was something I needed professional help with. I had lingering doubts that I really had OCD. I went into my 90 minute assessment fully expecting to be told that I did not have OCD. I was really caught off guard when my counselor told me I DO meet the criteria for OCD and gave me an official diagnosis. Once I had that, I had a lot of mixed emotions. I felt sad, relieved, and disappointed. I got diagnosed at 45 years old. I jumped into treatment with both feet. I have done 3 sessions of ERP so far. My last exposure was absolutely brutal and it was only a mid level exposure. The thought of doing a high level exposure terrifies me. There is a part of me that thinks I'm not strong enough to finish treatment and should just quit and accept that this is as good as its going to get. I have noticed a major difference. But I really want to reach recovery. I don't know what to do at this point.
lilfroggylilfroggy
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
I think I freaked out more because I was then giving in heavily to my googling compulsion because I just had to know everything about what was wrong with me. I also though used to have a fear of not wanting anything to be wrong with me mentally even though I’ve known for a while something was fishy lol So for someone to finally say yeah it’s OCD you’re not crazy, was a big relief but also a big stressor since my OCD was like no it’s not OCD you are crazy. It was a big back and forth for a while, but I’ve learned to accept the diagnosis more. I still have good days sometimes where I’m like, “Do I really have OCD, if I did would I feel happy like this right now?” and then my OCD comes in full force with a, “How dare you forget me!” and then I’m like yeah I have OCD lol
MagzzzMagzzz
- Date posted
- 4y
Honestly kind of. I feel like it got worse for me too but I was more relieved when I found out that’s what it was
camerongracecamerongrace
- Date posted
- 4y
I feel like the stigma around ocd seems scary and that it won’t get better, which is discouraging. Have you done ERP?
MagzzzMagzzz
- Date posted
- 4y
@camerongrace Oh I totally understand. The stigma behind ocd is so frustrating. I have done ERP a little bit but I’ve been a little discouraged because ERP can be rough but I do believe that it is the most effective way to help with ocd
camerongracecamerongrace
- Date posted
- 4y
@Just Breathe ❤️ How many sessions have you done?
MagzzzMagzzz
- Date posted
- 4y
@camerongrace I honestly don’t remember. I started back in April and got into the stay better phase but now I’m in the process of getting another therapist so
lets_be_happylets_be_happy
- Date posted
- 4y
I was pretty relieved when I got the diagnosis because I had just discovered that that was probably what was going on and things started making sense to me. But I did the same thing, googled every single thing about it and all the different subtypes. And I think it either enlightened me to all the OCD things I did, and/or made me overly cautious that I would do other compulsions that I wasn’t doing before. Like reading about them would make them happen to me. So in that case it got worse. It did end up getting a bit better when that initial googling phase ended though. So don’t give up, there’s hope!
camerongracecamerongrace
- Date posted
- 4y
Yeah I’ve been googling a lot & got worried about developing other subtypes, which made me freak out all the more. So when you stopped googling and such that helped the anxiety subside?
Lms526Lms526
- Date posted
- 4y
@camerongrace Yes, because googling is a compulsion. If you sit with the anxiety, without doing any type of compulsion, it will surge, peak, and decline. This is how you do ERP and it will give you long lasting relief. Giving into a compulsion will give you relief too, but its very short lived. Every time you do a compulsion, you strengthen the intrusive thought and make your OCD worse.
lets_be_happylets_be_happy
- Date posted
- 4y
@camerongrace It did! Eventually it felt like I read as much as I could, so my brain just switched its focus. Sometimes I do go back to it. Like when I discovered this community, it honestly made OCD a focus again. But now I know that it will get better
Related posts
Aldxma.steph
- Date posted
- 25w
Hello everyone I need some advice/insight please
I don’t have an official OCD diagnosis, but I will be asking my doctor tomorrow if I can get referred to a psychiatrist to get an official diagnosis. The way I came to the conclusion that what I’m dealing with is OCD is because a month and a half ago I just started having the most horrible disturbing intrusive thoughts that go against all my values and beliefs and attacking the stuff/people I care about the most out of absolutely NOWHERE. Mind you, I have never had anything like this happen in my life. I feel that I have always been someone with a peaceful mind and one of the worst intrusive thoughts I can ever remember having before this happened, was “what happens if I cut my finger right now” while I was cutting fruit. That’s pretty much it. After this whole horrible intrusive thought spiral started happening I was so scared because I have never had such awful intrusive thoughts like this that were the complete opposite of me, it just quite literally started out of NOWHERE, and that’s what was so scary and terrifying. It was like my whole life got turned upside down because of this and I’ve been mainly isolating in my room, feeling so much anxiety and dread and guilt/shame. I get four of the same thoughts and one intrusive image repeating over and over again even if I would not try to think about them, and it caused me so much distress and anxiety that I would be so anxious and cry everyday just thinking how I could ever possibly think such horrible intrusive thoughts like that. It’s caused me insomnia which I’ve never dealt with before and I went three days in a row without being able to sleep no matter how hard I tried (even while taking melatonin). Other days I struggle so much to fall asleep due to the intrusive thoughts being much more present at nighttime, and even when taking melatonin that doesn’t do anything because of my mind being so active and having so much anxiety. Is this what they call an OCD flare up? After constantly looking up all the symptoms of ocd (the more and lesser known ones alike), I noticed there were some symptoms of it that I displayed in childhood when the ocd could’ve been more dormant or mild you could say (skin picking), because once again I have never had such horrible intrusive thoughts like this out of nowhere and constantly repeating in my mind that felt like they were out of my control. I noticed that these intrusive thoughts started on the second day of my menstruation when I was in a lot of pain and was feeling very emotional/stressed. One of the things I’ve heard a lot is that during the menstruation cycle is when ocd flares can happen more often due to the increase in hormones during that time, and I wonder if that’s what happened to me? I’m also overall such a big over thinker and have been for as long as I can remember. I also have had anxiety and depression since middle school as well. Any insight would be very much appreciated 😭
Anonymous
- Date posted
- 12w
Help me understand
Hi, I just had a recent diagnosis of OCD. It’s crazy because I never considered it or thought that I had it. There have been some thoughts I look back on that make me wonder if it was OCD the whole time. It came to full fruition recently when I made a bad decision that cascaded into me worrying, and then led me to having these intense intrusive thoughts that I never thought I had. Can OCD magically manifest this intensely for some? I notice a lot of the stories here that people experience all the intrusive thoughts when they were younger. I keep looking back on previous times, making me think I had those same thoughts then. I can’t remember if they were genuine thoughts like I believed them, or if I knew they were bad thoughts and I just got over them. I feel like I am lying to myself every time I have the thoughts and that I’m a bad person because of it. I’m trying to not accept it. I have a few sessions in with my therapist introducing ERP but I wish I could get through this quicker. I feel disgusted with these thoughts and that I might be a bad person. Please help me understand and how to best handle this. Anyone have advice on how to be patient with yourself through this process?
Optimistic
- Date posted
- 9w
Feeling overwhelmed by diagnosis
I am newly diagnosed with OCD as a 33 year old female I was fat oses with bipolar at 15 and never really identified with it much and totally relate to ocd. I wish i would have known long ago so I could have gotten treatment earlier. Now that I know and am aware and can see what’s off and what are compulsions and my insatiable need for reassurance it’s so overwhelming- it feels like my mind is a prison and attacks me with a new pure o quest as soon as I wake up I’m optimistic I’ll be able to get better but it just feels like it’s time sucking and joy stealing disorder I know I’m not alone here I feel like a crazy person replaying and replaying things I want to know if you can relate or if you have been at this for a while and actually feel like you are breaking free from this Thanks for the read
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