- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
You’re doing an amazing job! Being 9 months pregnant must be very challenging, but you’re making it through! The need to confess can feel SO URGENT with OCD. I had that feeling just a couple of weeks ago. I stuck to my ERP skills and my values, and I was amazed when the urge to confess lifted. If I can do it, you can, too. How can you move towards your values right now? How can you best take care of your body and your baby today? Is there anything someone else could do for you that would help you? Can you drink more water, eat something nourishing, and engage with something you love? Wishing you the best. You’re doing great :)
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you so much. I took some time to rest today and called my best friend, and am also looking into getting my meds increased. Thanks for sharing your experience with the urge to confess lifting, it is a very scary feeling.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Maybe,MaybeNot So glad you were able to take those steps to care for yourself! OCD thinks we have to do compulsions to get rid of our distressing feelings, when in reality, feelings come and go :)
- Date posted
- 3y
You, specifically, are one of the people whose posts here I look forward to the most (and your thoughtful comments for people too). I really appreciate that you've developed so much self-awareness around your situation and take the time to go out of your way to share what you've learned with other people. It might not feel that way right now and you're thinking "ehh it's not that big of a deal", but that's why I'm happy to be able to hold the mirror up for you on a day like today - the fact that you're even posting this here shows that you've really developed your Wise Mind... and frankly, that you trust us with your thoughts even when you're not feeling too hot yourself.
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you so much. I love posting on here and helping others with OCD. I am only giving the advice that I am trying to give myself, and it most certainly helps. Your response means a lot to me.
- Date posted
- 3y
Hey guys today has been really hard and I am really struggling right now. I really need some support. I am so terrified that if my fiancé knew about this one “lie” from two years ago he would leave me. I logically don’t think it would affect my relationship but it still is giving me SO much anxiety. He does not let me confess to him so it’s not even an option. I feel so overwhelmed and so terrified.
- Date posted
- 3y
You’re not alone 💜 I’m so sorry you’re dealing with so much anxiety. How can we best support you?
- Date posted
- 3y
@Have a sunflower🌻 Thank you for this I really needed to hear this right now.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Orange-Colored_Glasses Thank you. I guess sometimes I just need a reminder why I should sit through the urge to confess.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Maybe,MaybeNot Your future self will thank you for resisting compulsions now! You’re making her work easier for her :)
- Date posted
- 3y
@Orange-Colored_Glasses Thank you, you are so right.
- Date posted
- 3y
If I remember correctly, isn’t telling lies part of your erp. If so then this is just another opportunity to kick ocd in the butt. I know it can be hard when the exposure wasn’t planned and hits you out of nowhere. You don’t have to handle it perfectly…as they say strive for progress not perfection. Also congratulations on the pregnancy!
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes you are right 🙄 you caught me I am supposed to be telling lies or like half truths for exposure around times I think I may have lied years ago. Thanks so much for your support.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Have a sunflower🌻 Yes of course ask away
- Date posted
- 3y
Also it’s hard to respond to the thing about getting yourself in trouble by posting on here without giving reassurance. In my personal opinion it would be absolutely ridiculous for like some random cop to be on here scoping out people who have done illegal shit, like that would be so extra, and I don’t even really know if that could be used in court. I don’t want to tell you anything that isn’t true but that just sounds ridiculous to me. And people post on here all the time about things they have done plus you can leave out details.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Have a sunflower🌻 You mean like adult porn? Don’t like millions of people watch porn? Lol. Also SO many people download and stream movies online. I think technically depending on the website or streaming service you use it could be considered illegal and it’s possible to face some charges but so many people I know have done this and I have never ever heard of anyone getting in trouble for this. So I won’t reassure you and say it couldn’t happen but I think it would be highly unlikely plus you’d probably just pay a fine. All of us have done illegal things. We can’t spend our lives worrying about getting caught. We’re humans.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Maybe,MaybeNot I just wanted to clarify that I am not certain if it’s illegal or not to stream a movie, I just don’t want to give reassurance that’s it’s not. I think it’s super unlikely though since millions of people do it.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Have a sunflower🌻 Yea you are way overthinking this but I understand. Millions of people watch porn. I would say it’s pretty normalized at this point and I would never judge someone for it and I’m quite certain it’s not illegal. I’ve streamed movies so many times. Who cares if it’s a choice or a desire or what? I wanted to watch a movie lol. Most people have also done it many times. I really don’t think it’s illegal for the person streaming but like I said I’m not 100% certain. But if someone is going to get arrested for it, it’s probably more likely someone who has done it many many times. Sorry I couldn’t specifically answer the laws for you, maybe there is someone out there who does know, but I wouldn’t go on a wild goose chase looking for the answers because we’ve all done illegal things and I guess technically any of us could get arrested at any time but so we really want to spend our time worrying about that?
- Date posted
- 3y
@Maybe,MaybeNot Anyway goodnight friend, don’t bully yourself. We’re humans. Let’s live our uncertain lives and enjoy them the best we can. We aren’t perfect. Maybe we will face some consequences, maybe not. But life is up and down and nothing is really the end of the world. We can’t take like too seriously.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Have a sunflower🌻 Haha I think this same exact way too 😂 I once googled “does everyone exaggerate?” Because I truly didn’t know! I have been in recovery before and once you get there you start to gain the ability to see the gray in life. I’m glad I was able to help. A few things to keep in mind are that doing compulsions aren’t going to keep you from getting arrested, and sometimes people get arrested and they are ok. I know people who have been arrested and/or went to jail and their lives are fine. Yesterday was really hard, especially with 9 month pregnancy hormones and being a blimp that can barely move around! But today is a new day and I plan to kick OCDs ass 😇
- Date posted
- 3y
@Have a sunflower🌻 Haha yes I highly doubt they even care about or know about the streaming you’ve done but hey it would be very interesting to hear about someone who was arrested for steaming movies like a few times 😂 and even murderers get let out of jail and get second chances. Nothing is really that big of a deal. We are resilient and can move on no matter what happens. Thanks for your support also!
- Date posted
- 3y
@Have a sunflower🌻 Hey! I don’t know if you still use this app, I have a feeling you might now but I literally just wanted to say I suffer from this exact theme. Like literally exactly what you’ve described here. I was searching this app to see if anybody else has ever dealt with these fears and I stumbled across your post. I too have watched porn in the past, and I often feel like it’s immoral and when the immoral feeling grows I get these ridiculous ideas that being immoral is just like something being illegal. And what happens when something is illegal, you end up in jail etc. I know it’s cognitive distortions of a sort. I wish I could heal from these crazy thought patterns, or broken patterns as I like to call them. Do reply on this thread and let me know how you’re doing now, if you still use this app ❤️
- Date posted
- 3y
@Worry24 This is so common! Plus most people watch porn it seems! Also whatsup have a sunflower, I miss our threads!
- Date posted
- 3y
@Have a sunflower🌻 Hey, I know what you mean. I’ve always struggled with keeping my threads up. I forgot my log in details to my old account on here so by default all my threads are still up…I suppose it’s good ERP for me too. But honestly, it helped a lot to know someone has had the same thought pattern and ocd theme as me. It made me feel less lonely so Thankyou :-)
- Date posted
- 3y
@Have a sunflower🌻 Oh no I’m so sorry to hear that 😢 OCD sucks so much. Me and my family are doing great. I’m planning my wedding and experiencing some family drama with my in laws, but OCD has taken a back seat. I’ve been trying to get on here more just to respond to peoples posts because it makes me feel good, so I’ll keep a look out for yours. Hang in there friend I promise it gets better.
- Date posted
- 29w
Hey there! Read through all these comments and can relate to this 100%. Especially about the porn and convincing myself I have watched something illegal. I am extremely triggered lately. I am currently pregnant and almost at my due date. Any tips to help me cope?
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 15w
Hi all!! Its been a while since I've been in here and typically I come on here to give advice and encouragement which i still plan to do but i really need encouragement right now. I typically deal with so-ocd but right now its taking a back seat or just disappearing ( which I'm not complaining) but now my rocd is really coming in thick and heavy and Im overly anxious but i have had panic attacks to the thoughts and its just been heavily attack me on my feelings towards my bf. I love this man with my literal whole being and I want to marry him and I know he feels the same cause we have had discussions on marriage. But lately and idk if its because of my period starting (sorry tmi) and all the hormones but i can't feel my emotions all that well, and the thoughts are constantly telling me i don't love him, i don't want to talk to him which are all false me and him are long distance rn which is hard but we push through it. I really hate these thoughts and all it makes me want to do is scream and cry. Like i said not overly anxious but definitely just want to scream and cry and of course cause Im not overly anxious my ocd picks up on that says oh see your not anxious with that so it must be true. I'm just hot mess y'all:( But anyways word of encouragement keep pushing y'all all got this and Im proud of every single one of you!!
- Date posted
- 12w
i am nearly constantly extremely anxious and i don't want to live like this. my family and friends are so done dealing with me to the point that i feel that i'd be better off completely alone. every small twinge or pain in my body sends me into a panic, and if it's not that it's something else i manage to be worrying over. i'm fairly certain my stress has caused an ulcer to form. i try to sit with myself and not seek reassurance/check myself for issues but it is genuinely agonizing at times. most days i sleep 12-14 hours a day because it gets to a point that i cannot deal with it anymore and i take something to sleep. sometimes i do feel that i would be better off just not around so i wouldn't have to feel this any longer. i do a lot of unhealthy things to cope (drinking, smoking, and otc sleeping pills being the main culprits) and those habits end up hurting me in the long run and making me more anxious. i do have a counselor and she is great but i'm having a really hard time finding a medication provider under my insurance. i really really do want to get better because this is the most miserable i have ever been and i hate being like this and exhausting myself and the people around me. i've been told a big part of the healing process is to make yourself sit with your thoughts and deal with the uncertainty and fear as it comes, but it feels torturous to do that. sometimes reading through these posts does make me feel better knowing that i'm not alone but lately i have been unable to pull myself out of this frantic state. what are some healthier ways to cope/distract yourself that you guys find to be at least semi-effective? i am genuinely willing to try anything to make this terrible feeling go away
- Date posted
- 7w
Hello everyone. Good morning to you all. This week has been tough for me. I've had a hard time keeping my head up. Every day, I wake up at 5 or so with intense feelings of dread. Shaking, racing thoughts, gagging, struggling to focus and get through work, intense feeling of panic, face flushing, wired but tired. I've been really going through it. And this is extra painful because: 1. I am doing better than I've done in a while. I've made plans and kept to them. 2. I've gotten great news this week about a potential job opportunity. It's a long-term plan, but I'm looking forward to the future like I haven't in months. (My OCD has mainly centered around work uncertainty) 3. My attitude is great. I'm not despairing. I know the morning anxiety is caused morning cortisol. I know my body may just be sensitized. I'm not actually panicking. I'm approaching the doom and gloom thoughts as I believe I should most of the time. So, what's going on? Here's my encouragement to you. This kind of anxiety is a lie. It has no bearing on reality. What I mean is when I wake up shaking, there is no actual danger. My fight or flight response is activating when there is nothing to fight and nothing to fly from. Why? Because my body is sensitized. I spent months waking up every day in a panic, giving in to intrusive thoughts, struggling with compulsions. I don't blame myself for this. It all happened very suddenly and I had no idea what was going on. Once I did, I started fighting it. But damage has been done. And damage takes time to heal. Every time I panicked, I reenforced that fight or flight response. I told my body it was right to panic. And so, now, it is sensitized. It responds with an unusual and inappropriate amount of panic to everything, especially mornings. What I try to remember, and encourage you to remember as well, is this: It takes time to heal. It is very easy for me to start to panic or despair. After all, I feel like I'm doing everything right. Obviously, there are things I can improve on, but I'm getting better. I'm starting to eat better. I'm exercising more. I'm floating through the anxiety. I'm cutting out compulsions. My job prospects are looking up. My relationship with my spouse and family is great. So why? Why? Why? Stop. Don't panic. Remember. You can do absolutely everything right. Anxiety can still come. That's what I mean when is said anxiety is a lie. It is. It's lying to you. You're just sensitized. Remember that it takes time to heal. It doesn't happen overnight. Don't let anxiety control your actions. Don't let it cause you stress and keep you in that cycle. Don't freak out when your heart races or you feel a surge of energy and you want to do anything to escape. Sit in that anxiety and let it pass by as it wishes. If you keep this up, it will get better. You'll become less sensitized. You'll have less anxiety. And when you do have it, it will bother you less, and less, and less. It just takes time. The biggest breakthroughs are often proceeded by the greatest struggles. Don't stop doing the right thing just because it doesn't "feel" good. Feelings are liers. Do what you're supposed to do despite the feelings. Keep up the good work. You're closer to success than you think. Go do something fun today. I'm going to go to the mall and I'm going to live in the present moment, whether anxiety is there or not. Thank you for reading. I am praying for you all.
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