- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I'm a little familiar with the feeling you're describing, and I have a theory that a lot of this despair comes from the way we treat ourselves. It's not our fault, of course - it's a situation we contribute to without realizing it. We are unbelievably hard on ourselves relative to the way we treat others - we refuse to let ourselves celebrate little victories and successes because we become fixated on our failures. If I had to give my unprofessional advice, I would suggest that the first thing you do is forgive yourself. You are human - you are not a machine. You are not perfect - no one is, and if someone seems perfect, then that means you're not seeing them in their worst moments. You have a debilitating disorder, and you are in survival mode right now. That is okay. Accepting where you are, in this moment, is the first step. Secondly, change your habits, beginning right now. Speak to someone about what you're dealing with - give yourself permission to ask for help. Get off your phone, and especially stay off of social media for a bit - it can worsen anxiety and depression. Decide to do one thing every day, or half a thing. Take a shower, go for a walk, do an assignment. When you've finished what you're working on, give yourself permission to feel pride - after all, every task completed, no matter how minute, is an act of progress. Fair warning - you will not feel anything at first. Give it time. Third, you are going to make more mistakes, and you will experience more failures - don't let these destroy you. Progress is not linear, and a single setback won't undo all of your hard work. Keep fighting and moving forward, and living will become easier with time.
- Date posted
- 3y
Wonderful advice!
- Date posted
- 3y
I relate completely, our situations are almost identical, in fact. I can't say for certain how things will end up, but as long as you have a good support system, you will not fail! Things will turn around for you, and everyone else in similar situations, I'm sure of it! You are not alone, if that takes your worry away a little bit!
- Date posted
- 3y
I think we’re strongest when we feel weak but keep going! You’re much much stronger than you think! You can become and do anything you want in life. Believe in yourself! Try reading about conscious manifestation and reprogramming your subconscious mind. Abraham Hicks says, Your beliefs are just thoughts you’ve been thinking over and over again until you believe them to be true. Highly recommend Abraham Hicks videos on YouTube, EFT Tapping videos on YouTube, repeating affirmations like I love myself, I believe in myself, I accept myself unconditionally etc. These things have really really helped me get through depressions and helped me love and accept myself more.
- Date posted
- 3y
I completely understand that feeling! I'm much older but I've always felt like I'm wasting my life and just going through the motions. Have you considered medication? For me, it's the only thing that helps me focus and actually accomplish things (even just basic tasks).
- Date posted
- 3y
Have you spoken to your parents or a counselor at school about how you feel? This may sound like a totally dorky answer, but if you have OCD, depression, or a learning difference that can be addressed, speak up for yourself even if it’s scary. I suffered through high school and college in a way similar to what you were describing and if I could go back, I would advocate for my needs like crazy until they were met.
- Date posted
- 3y
This is how I feel aswell, Im freaking turning 23 soon and instead of working on my skills and life, Im doing exactly what you said in your post. Everything is falling apart for me, it feels like Im starting from scratch again. I feel so far behind my friends, theyre all close to getting jobs and becoming settled in life and here I am laying in my bed all day with these mental ilnessses. Idk how I will ever recover
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
This isn’t OCD related so I’m sorry, but I don’t know another platform like this where I can talk to other people and actually get responses. OCD has been a huge fucking setback for me in life. I had to drop classes, wasn’t able to do things, and just felt so shitty all the time because of it. I feel like I blame OCD for everything I’m not. I constantly feel like I’m not good enough. Just today I saw someone I once knew and felt all of those feelings I used to have that made me miserable. Anyways, I tried taking my driver’s test a couple days ago but I wasn’t able to. The DMV only accepted cash. I felt upset but it was whatever. I’m almost 19, and I don’t have a driver’s license. So passing it would mean a lot to me. I compare myself to others my age; they have cars, hobbies, friends, go to college, etc… I don’t have any of that. Maybe comparing myself and all of that is my fault. My family says it’s my fault I’m sad because I just wallow in it. Hearing them say that makes me frustrated and hurt, but maybe they’re right. My mom texted a couple of my siblings in a group chat I wasn’t a part of, “He wants to wallow and be depressed. And woe is me, wah wah wah.” That made me really angry because my siblings were agreeing with her. Maybe they are right. Maybe I am selfish and think the world revolves around me. My sister tells me I need to advocate for myself more, I just don’t want to be a burden. I’ve only been a burden my whole life. My OCD created this whole issue in my family and I hate that. I don’t know what to do anymore. I just want an answer. Am I really a loser? Do I really wallow in it? Am I not trying like my family says? I just want to talk to someone.
- Date posted
- 20w
First off - I’m sorry, I post here a lot. My thoughts are going to be scattered because I have the adhd/ocd/executive dysfunction wombo combo. Im so embarrassed I am THIS neurodivergent. I swear my brain couldn’t pick one struggle and settle with it. I’m not making these diagnoses quirky personality traits by any means, in fact, in this post im venting about how exhausting and embarassed I am living with a brain like this on the daily. I need to hear someone’s advice please. I love hearing everyone’s advice on posts because it’s so useful, and brings me back down to reality. Everyone on here gives advice so tastefully in a way where it doesn’t feed into the self reassurance compulsion, but it’s also been thorough and constructive enough where it’s reminded me to ground myself in a healthy way. I love seeing others helping others, it soothes me. This community has been so kind, and I’m so happy I found it. I wish I could ask more, but I have so many questions I think it’d drive everyone here crazy lol. I am doing erp therapy now, and it’s been teaching me so many amazing techniques. I’ve been making progress. However, I sometimes have my moments of vunerablity. I’ve been experiencing this especially now more than ever because I am going through a breakup. He did it through text after nearly 9 months together. I’d do anything for him and love him through anything, and he broke my heart when I least expected it. I’d make his bed for him multiple times, but I haven’t done that for myself in years. I’d sit with him for hours to watch and do anything he likes, but he’d never do the same and I’d never do the same for me. I’m also at fault because I was too scared to speak up so I let a lot of disrespect slide. Why did my ocd do that? Why does ocd make me people please even when I don’t want to? Why does OCD make me care so much about things that will never effect me (like wanting validation from a random person on the street and hoping they’ll think I’m pretty enough to look at), but then when it comes to my future or positive wellbeing (like focusing on college/doing well in classes/personal hygiene/health), forces me to not care/neglect myself and those needs? I don’t understand it. Ocd makes me think everything’s a setup or a trap. I can never believe that I am fine right where I want to be. Why am I so hard on myself? Why do I even think this much? I care and feel so deeply but it becomes unhealthy so fast because ocd makes me fixate and I stay there for a while. For some reason I let this breakup define my self worth. I let it topple into the ocd fear that I will never make it in life - that I won’t be successful, I’ll never get the career I want, the love I want, or the life I want. My OCD’s version of “logic” isn’t even logical. Yes, I understand how the breakup means feelings of low self worth which will then topple into feeling bad about other things. But why has my brain been wired to think this way? Why does it seem so easy for everyone else to function normally with life but not me? Honestly this is the first time in my life where I’m dedicated to focusing on myself and learning more about myself instead of others in my life and it’s a very odd and bizarre feeling. I’m excited of course, but I’m also scared. My ocd makes me ruminate like “what if I will never make the most of this life I’ve been given”, “what if I truly have no worth and the most I will ever be in other people’s lives is a background character”, “why do I care if I’m a background character or not? I should feel guilty and ignorant for assuming everyone will automatically like me”, “are people lying to me when they call me pretty, smart or kind?”, “I need to look and sound perfect in both pictures, videos and in real life. I will never be satisfied for accepting who I am now”, and a bunch of other annoying questions. But sometimes it’s like I just can’t take the reality for what it is but at the same time, but I also acknowledge that I know this is ocd talking. This is so, so difficult. Do I make any sense with what I’m saying? Can anyone help?
- Date posted
- 13w
I’m 21. The 3 year anniversary of my graduation from high school is soon. Lately, I’ve been worried about where I’m going in life and if it’s even worth it because I don’t know why I exist or what my purpose is After graduating I lost a new job I loved due to poor management on my boss’s side, they failed to teach me my job then fired me for it, and moved from my mom’s house into my dads house due to issues with my stepdad, both of which put me into a depression. I got a new job 3 months later. But ever since being fired and moving out, I feel like I’ve been in a depressive cycle of Eat, Sleep, Work, Repeat. I’ll get home and doomscroll for hours, and occasionally play games with friends at nights. Occasionally I’ll do my hobbies but usually feel guilty for it. I don’t see my friends and family nearly as much as I used to. I want to, but it feels like everything I want to do, my intrusive thoughts find a way to keep me at home. “It’s a waste of time.” “You need to be productive on your time off or you’ll go nowhere in life so stay home.” But then if I stay home it’s “you need to go out and do something.” “You’re being unproductive sitting at home all day.” “Seeing them wont make you feel better, you’ll never be happy” My girlfriend lives 6 hours away and is usually the only time I’d go outside and live and feel in the moment, but even then I’d feel guilt. I feel like my OCD makes me feel guilty for everything. She’s helped me a lot, but lately we’ve had a few issues we’ve worked past that made me fear for losing her too. I’ve felt depressed for years now. Before being fired, I usually felt pretty good and was almost normal feeling. I’d had control over my fears and intrusive thoughts of suicide and the meaning of life, and had accepted them and wasn’t afraid. I knew it wasn’t me. But lately I’ve been trying to push myself out of this depressive cycle, and it’s made my OCD and fears of suicide and if life has meaning, come right back. I’m handling it slightly better, but it’s still hard. I just want to move past this and stop questioning why I’m even doing anything, if I want to end it all, when I know for certain I don’t want to and that I get to make my own meaning in life. I have dreams, I want to get back into art. I want to move in with my girlfriend eventually and start a family. But my OCD makes me so scared to even try to make art, and it makes me so scared I won’t be happy or content with my dreams. I feel so alone and sad. I feel like life will pass me by while I’m stuck feeling this sad and scared. It sucks, but I’m trying my best to get there. Gotta keep moving
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