- Username
- random_person
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I'm a little familiar with the feeling you're describing, and I have a theory that a lot of this despair comes from the way we treat ourselves. It's not our fault, of course - it's a situation we contribute to without realizing it. We are unbelievably hard on ourselves relative to the way we treat others - we refuse to let ourselves celebrate little victories and successes because we become fixated on our failures. If I had to give my unprofessional advice, I would suggest that the first thing you do is forgive yourself. You are human - you are not a machine. You are not perfect - no one is, and if someone seems perfect, then that means you're not seeing them in their worst moments. You have a debilitating disorder, and you are in survival mode right now. That is okay. Accepting where you are, in this moment, is the first step. Secondly, change your habits, beginning right now. Speak to someone about what you're dealing with - give yourself permission to ask for help. Get off your phone, and especially stay off of social media for a bit - it can worsen anxiety and depression. Decide to do one thing every day, or half a thing. Take a shower, go for a walk, do an assignment. When you've finished what you're working on, give yourself permission to feel pride - after all, every task completed, no matter how minute, is an act of progress. Fair warning - you will not feel anything at first. Give it time. Third, you are going to make more mistakes, and you will experience more failures - don't let these destroy you. Progress is not linear, and a single setback won't undo all of your hard work. Keep fighting and moving forward, and living will become easier with time.
Wonderful advice!
I relate completely, our situations are almost identical, in fact. I can't say for certain how things will end up, but as long as you have a good support system, you will not fail! Things will turn around for you, and everyone else in similar situations, I'm sure of it! You are not alone, if that takes your worry away a little bit!
I think we’re strongest when we feel weak but keep going! You’re much much stronger than you think! You can become and do anything you want in life. Believe in yourself! Try reading about conscious manifestation and reprogramming your subconscious mind. Abraham Hicks says, Your beliefs are just thoughts you’ve been thinking over and over again until you believe them to be true. Highly recommend Abraham Hicks videos on YouTube, EFT Tapping videos on YouTube, repeating affirmations like I love myself, I believe in myself, I accept myself unconditionally etc. These things have really really helped me get through depressions and helped me love and accept myself more.
I completely understand that feeling! I'm much older but I've always felt like I'm wasting my life and just going through the motions. Have you considered medication? For me, it's the only thing that helps me focus and actually accomplish things (even just basic tasks).
Have you spoken to your parents or a counselor at school about how you feel? This may sound like a totally dorky answer, but if you have OCD, depression, or a learning difference that can be addressed, speak up for yourself even if it’s scary. I suffered through high school and college in a way similar to what you were describing and if I could go back, I would advocate for my needs like crazy until they were met.
This is how I feel aswell, Im freaking turning 23 soon and instead of working on my skills and life, Im doing exactly what you said in your post. Everything is falling apart for me, it feels like Im starting from scratch again. I feel so far behind my friends, theyre all close to getting jobs and becoming settled in life and here I am laying in my bed all day with these mental ilnessses. Idk how I will ever recover
*venting* I’m so tired of life. I just woke up, and I feel like going back to bed and sleep until this nightmare passes. This week has been one of the hardest of my life. I don’t think I can face another day of intrusive thoughts, fear, anxiety. I need some moments of relief, but there are none. I wanna have a life again. Anxiety and obsessive thoughts have killed my social life, my ambitions and desires, my happiness. I’ve been fighting for the past 6 months for nothing. I don’t see any improvement. I’m on day 3 of Lexapro and of course i can’t tell if it’s gonna work for me or not. I’m on the first stages of ERP therapy and I still haven’t got any assigned homework to work on, which I really need because I need to feel like I’m doing SOMETHING to help myself with ocd and Gad. I just hope someone could just take out whatever part of my brain isn’t working properly and replace it with a new piece. I don’t wanna feel like a burden to my family or boyfriend anymore. I can’t believe all the damage that I’m causing. I don’t know what to do with all this self hate. I don’t know where to turn to. I seem to have all the help that one could need - therapy, medication, support system. Yet I feel like I can’t spend another day living like this.
I don’t know what to do anymore, I’m failing school because all I have on my mind is ocd and ocd thoughts. I’ll I think is “what If I’m a murderer” “what If I hurt someone” “no no no I don’t wanna do those things I really don’t”. I feel like it’s getting worse I can’t focus on school anymore and I’m gonna fail this quarter. I wake up and I just wanna sleep because I keep having these thoughts, I’ve been getting nightmares too and I just feel so hopeless and I’m always so anxious about being a bad person. Please help me out here
I don’t even know the wrong from the the right anymore I don’t even know how to talk to people without thinking that I offended them or spoke to them in a bad way I don’t even know what i became I don’t want what I became i just cry looking at my hands I cry looking at myself i feel pathetic I feel so desperate I was never this weak and now look at me not being able to control my own behaviors. What happened to the girl who always laughed and cared so much about herself the girl who loved nail polish and was so close to god in away no one imagined what happened to the girl who used to take full grades and be the smartest what happened to me. Isn’t it sad looking at myself with pity, helpless and full of doubt! I don’t deserve this. I know what’s I’m gonna say know sounds selfish but i do compare myself to others I wasn’t as bad as them so why me and not them! Why me !!... I’m loosing my mind I’m getting angry when I’m left alone I’m giving ocd the keys for the prison it made for me I’m letting it control me not that I want to but im not fighting back. Now im with no friends, with a family that doesn’t understand ocd, and a corrupted society that doesn’t value mental health. I’m so sad i feel like a baby rn but im actually so sad and lonely im conditioned now to believe that no one wants me, that im just a burden and need to be silent, not important and useless.... Idk even know what to say anymore
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