- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I could be wrong but it sounds like you have moral scrupulosity OCD (which are intrusive thoughts where you feel like a bad person or that you're screwing up/doing something wrong) mixed with some form of harm OCD where you have thoughts of self harm. I don't have thoughts of causing myself pain or anything, but I do have similar thoughts because of guilt or stress. Sometimes I have thoughts that it would be better if I wasn't around, or that dying would be a fitting punishment (even though I can't really logically name what I would be "punished" for)
- Date posted
- 3y
I’m going through this everyday and am struggling to stay alive. Any tips?
- Date posted
- 3y
@alittleapple Unfortunately no. I really wish I could give you some tips but the only thing that keeps me here most days is that I know it would hurt some people I care about. Maybe therapy and medication could help you if you have that option
- Date posted
- 3y
The way you describe it is The way you describe it is exactly what it's like, it's just about thinking I'm doing something wrong. Glad to know I'm not completely alone in this. I think it's probably a similar problem to yours, regardless of what the thoughts are they come from guilt of doing something wrong even if it's minor/forgiven/not true, or needing to rid stress immediately
- Date posted
- 3y
@JohnDoe21 I’m Christian so that’s sort of the only thing and my family as well. But it is really hard. We are not alone though
- Date posted
- 3y
you can definitely obsess about self harm - that's a big one for me. I felt really validated reading "Harm OCD" by John Hershfield (I'm actually about to read it again lol)
- Date posted
- 3y
That last question was rhetorical by the way. I don't know if it is yet but I haven't addressed it yet becasue I'm pretty ashamed of it. Just want to know if there's anyone like me
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
thank you for opening up and sharing this part of yourself. it is a challenge to open up about self harm and thoughts of it. i'll give you a small piece of advice, don't focus so much on what the OCD subtype might be. focus on the compulsions. which in this case, does sound like self harm. how is self harming going to solve your obsessions? how about instead of immediately wanting to harm yourself when you do something you feel is "wrong" or "bad" - try sitting with the anxious thoughts. how painful and vulnerable would it make you feel to actually feel your anxiety instead of trying to solve your way out of it? also, i do not know if you are seeking therapy through the app, but i highly recommend it or seeking therapy outside of the app for self harm. you do not need to punish yourself for your obsessions.
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 23w
Does anyone imagine they are doing their harm thoughts during an action, making you feel like you acted on your thoughts? For example, someone gave me a hug and at the last second I imagined I was touching something I shouldn’t during the hug? I want to make it clear it’s something I have zero desire to do! But the problem is, I thought it on purpose and it makes me sick !! Obviously nothing happened but my mind is telling me that was me trying to do it. Even though it was physically impossible to do. Am I a monster or could this be OCD? I’m freaking out and don’t want to be here anymore. I feel like I’m the exception and that this isn’t OCD. I know I post about this stuff a lot but I’m struggling and don’t know what to do.
- Date posted
- 20w
Hi, I'm 17,about to be 18. I've been struggling with these thoughts for the past 8 months. I was wondering if someone experienced ever the same because I feel im "different". BACKGROUND: (I'm not diagnosed with Ocd but seeing a local counselor) About 9 months ago I cheated on my boyfriend with this guy S (who blackmailed, manipulated and molested me). Since then when I realized that what i did was very WRONG and so I started ruminating picking apart every single interaction and telling my boyfriend, i tried to remember every single detail because otherwise I felt like i was being a fraud and hiding things to save myself, i had many crisis about it because I had also what i think was false memory ocd. My boyfriend forgave me idk how tbh I still wonder. CURRENT STRUGGLE: Months ago I was sure I didn't wanna S in any way and i was sure even when everything happened. For the past 2 months tho I've been having thoughts like " Do I love S?" "I love S" "S is hot" "Would S find me hot?" "What if I want S?" " What if I don't love my boyfriend enough?" "What if I secretly want S?" "What if I see my boyfriend as a friend only?Do I?" And I tried testing my reaction to intimate scenarios with S, I'm scared I like it i dont really wanna love S or have any secret attraction, I wish I didn't have any of this and I want to be sure of my feelings for my boyfriend because I know I wanna be with him and I see a future with him like he brings me comfort. But a part of me keeps trying to convince me otherwise. Sometimes I think I'd rather die than have these thoughts. Im so scared of not being able to control my feelings, im scared I can't resist S and its giving me anxiety and making me cry. Sometimes when i think of those sexual scenarios with S or I get those thoughts my mind tells me to smile because i like it because I find it funny. It makes me doubt myself all over again. Like I'm always like I need to test if I'd feel aroused to intimate scenarios with S, lately im trying to fight this urge to test and test but my mind is like "just do it this once so you can be sure. I can never watch anything romantic or sexual or whatever because my mind would be like "you and S" or sometimes I'm just enjoying time with my bf and im like " yes we can just have a sneaky cheating thing thats ok" and it makes me want to figure it out to find an answer a solution because idk it just does like I need to find the meaning of it if it means the truth and all. Im worried im just an awful person and these thoughts just ruin my quality of life . Today i had a crisis where i ended up doinf swlf harm, I'm so scared of finding someone that's not my boyfriend desirable or sexual appealing or whatever it is, I also have bodily reactions when I try to imagine and test my reaction to scenarios. Now i keep groing everytime and I dont know why but i have this sensation and I dont want to havebit especially when its something S related. Does someone experience the same thoughts? Am I alone in this? Is this ROCD? What should i do?
- Date posted
- 17w
Hey so a couple months ago (7-8) I remember being upset at my family member. Like she was talking too much while I was annoyed and remember wanting her to be quiet. I got an intrusive thought like a really bad image of doing something really bad to her, and my hand twitched to the side a little? Like it felt like I was about to?! And I remembered thinking "if I do this, I'll get in trouble". I got up and left to the bathroom and felt horrified! I was thinking "did I want to act out? Did the only reason I didn't act out was because of getting in trouble? If there was no consequences, would have I done it?! Does this mean this whole time I've been using OCD as an excuse?" I remember I couldn't sleep for 3 nights because of how bad the anxiety was, I was crying and I felt very guilty like I should turn myself in to a mental hospital. I couldn't eat for many days or be near her because of that thought and twitch I had! I'm worried it was an impulse or I actually wanted to hurt her. And even to this day I still ruminanate about this. Like last night I couldn't sleep well I kept waking up every two hours and asking myself "am I capable?" I couldn't eat last night. Sometimes I move on from it like I forget that happened but when I remember, I feel distressed about it! I don't want to be an evil person or do bad actions towards anyone! I'm even scared to be angry because of this because I'm scared I have more "chance" of acting out due to anger. Like was it an impulse and I held back? Is this even OCD? Please help, I'm really scared!
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