- Username
- cooldude02
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I could be wrong but it sounds like you have moral scrupulosity OCD (which are intrusive thoughts where you feel like a bad person or that you're screwing up/doing something wrong) mixed with some form of harm OCD where you have thoughts of self harm. I don't have thoughts of causing myself pain or anything, but I do have similar thoughts because of guilt or stress. Sometimes I have thoughts that it would be better if I wasn't around, or that dying would be a fitting punishment (even though I can't really logically name what I would be "punished" for)
I’m going through this everyday and am struggling to stay alive. Any tips?
@alittleapple Unfortunately no. I really wish I could give you some tips but the only thing that keeps me here most days is that I know it would hurt some people I care about. Maybe therapy and medication could help you if you have that option
The way you describe it is The way you describe it is exactly what it's like, it's just about thinking I'm doing something wrong. Glad to know I'm not completely alone in this. I think it's probably a similar problem to yours, regardless of what the thoughts are they come from guilt of doing something wrong even if it's minor/forgiven/not true, or needing to rid stress immediately
@JohnDoe21 I’m Christian so that’s sort of the only thing and my family as well. But it is really hard. We are not alone though
you can definitely obsess about self harm - that's a big one for me. I felt really validated reading "Harm OCD" by John Hershfield (I'm actually about to read it again lol)
That last question was rhetorical by the way. I don't know if it is yet but I haven't addressed it yet becasue I'm pretty ashamed of it. Just want to know if there's anyone like me
thank you for opening up and sharing this part of yourself. it is a challenge to open up about self harm and thoughts of it. i'll give you a small piece of advice, don't focus so much on what the OCD subtype might be. focus on the compulsions. which in this case, does sound like self harm. how is self harming going to solve your obsessions? how about instead of immediately wanting to harm yourself when you do something you feel is "wrong" or "bad" - try sitting with the anxious thoughts. how painful and vulnerable would it make you feel to actually feel your anxiety instead of trying to solve your way out of it? also, i do not know if you are seeking therapy through the app, but i highly recommend it or seeking therapy outside of the app for self harm. you do not need to punish yourself for your obsessions.
Does anyone else suffer from ‘Real life events’ OCD? I constantly worry about things I did as a teenager (from ages 15-19) I wasn’t a very nice person and think I was quite a toxic girlfriend in my first relationship. I’m always terrified that people are going to find out and that I’m going to lose my job or something awful. I also think that a lot of people would be so shocked if they knew some of the things that I’d done, and that they would think so much less of me. I feel a constant need to confess or apologise, and wish more than anything that I could erase that whole chapter of my life. Previously in counselling, we looked at ‘black and white thinking’, and I managed to rationalise that everyone makes mistakes and nothing I did was that bad, but I have this horrible feeling that one day this will all catch up with me. Is this just genuine guilt and remorse or is this a symptom of OCD? Thanks in advance.
Hi guys, Firstly, before I share what troubles me, I would like to thank you for all your support and kind help. It is very much appreciated! Also, I would like to add that I feel really disgusted with what I'm about to share, and I apologise beforehand if my words will hurt anyone, I really don't mean it. I don't know if this Is OCD but here goes: For the last few days I have felt ignored by my boyfriend (I'm sure he didn't ignore but that's how it felt to me). It made me feel down and weird. I know he loves me but the feelings (of being ignored) were real and quite overwhelming). That's when I started to get thoughts of wanting to punish him for ignoring him. (I know, I have no limits!) The thoughts were not the only thing I experienced. I also got the troubling and worrying feeling of actually wanting to carry out the action (of punishment). In addition, the feeling almost came like a desire. It felt, and still feesl, like it would feel/be nice/satisfying to hurt my boyfriend. To make everything worse, the thoughts and feelings don't seem intrusive at all. I feel absolutely terrible. I saw him today at work (we work at the same place) and he was really sweet and nice to me. And all I wanted was to scream because I felt like an imposter. This is probably even worse than my POCD. I don't know why I'm like this. I'm really sorry. Can anyone help me with this, please? I really feel like I'm becoming a monster because it feels that I like the thoughts and feelings I get, and also because they are not intrusive. I'm really sorry again!
Hello! I recovered from my severe religious themed OCD about 3 years ago. I thought my OCD had went away but I'm starting to think it's still impacting my life. Or maybe I just have high anxiety now. I have been told I'm a perfectionist and I have a huge fear that I'm not always "living correctly" which causes me to intensely compare myself to others and other things. This fear got so bad last august that I got into a relationship with an emotionally abusive person just because I thought I was falling behind. He was my first boyfriend and now I'm dealing with the affects of this. Im a baton twirler and although I'm getting better with exposure therapy.. I have anxiety attacks when I don't perform or practice perfectly. Where I can't even twirl in front of my mom right now without just shutting down and panicking because I somehow think she's judging me harshly when she's not at all. I also avoid doing assignments in school or asking questions because I have a huge fear of being considered slow or getting a bad grade. But this also makes my grades worse so it's a terrible endless cycle. I'm out of the relationship and I'm starting to take care of myself but I'm just kind of rusty on OCD knowledge and I'm trying to figure out if these are just new obsessions or if I'm just a perfectionist. Ever since I was little I've had this cronic fear of missing out or not feeling perfect for myself or others. And failure makes me flip the fuck out.
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