I am the same. I have watched lesbian porn before hocd and I enjoyed it. I just never wanted to do it in real life, cuz in real life I was not attracted to women. But normally people with hocd don’t enjoy same sex fantasies :/. They are intrusive. For me now the thoughts and fantasies are also intrusive cuz I am scared that it means that I am lesbian, but before hocd I enjoyed the porn so I don’t know :-(
me too. i did the same exact thing:(
@iloveanimals How are you? Are you in treatment?
@hocdgirl no im not doing treatment atm. im ok. sometimes i feel better n then it comes back and haunts me and i dig for reassurance:/ deep down i know who i am and all that but when those thoughts come i just cant stay calm or true to myself lol
@iloveanimals I can relate. U never made treatment or u did in the past? I am in treatment now and I don’t know how to speak with my therapist about the porn… I am scared if I tell my therapist about it she says I am lesbian. She doesn’t know hocd very well…