Has anyone with relationship OCD had a fear of their partner Masturbating while in a relationship with you? I seem to have had this all my life & mentioned it to partners before. A few have lied about it & admitted it later after agreeing for us to both NOT do it. Found out my fiancé of 2 yrs has lied about it & I am crushed. He told me that it’s normal & that he doesn’t like to do it or want to but all guys do. That he just wants to be a human being. I have a desire to control this because of my fear. I have not done it since we have been official & feel betrayed. He refuses to talk about masturbation with me. Anyone have a similar issue? How did you cope to get thru it?

I feel afraid to be at work or out of the house if he is home because I think he will do it. He says he only does it Occasionally. I asked how often. He said every 2 weeks or every month. He says he doesn’t keep track of it. Could he have agreed to this agreement because he didn’t really do it often to begin with? He said he did it more frequently before we met but still doesn’t know how often or if he has gone without it for months. He has lied to me about his sobriety & going to AA before. The truth eventually came out. I had a feeling about that too & I was right. I keep thinking that this issue I am fearing means I am right too. That maybe we are not compatible & we need to break up. 😞

I do have an issue similar but also not the same? I more worry that I will end up accidentally m*sturbating and it will offend someone? (when I think logically this makes no sense)

Rather than going all the way to “maybe we need to break up”, I’m curious what would happen if you explored more about why you’re crushed. Why does your partner choosing to masturbate hurt you or your relationship? I grew up deeply in church and was told it was “wrong” or “adulterous”, but as I grew older I learned that it’s just another facet of human sexuality. It’s not great that he lied about it, but maybe he was embarrassed to talk about it? My partner and I have had to navigate masturbation while living together during COVID, and it was challenging but well worth it. Just my opinion! 💜