- Username
- Maureen
- Date posted
- 5y ago
The trick to beating ocd is accepting that they might be true. If you are feeling suicidal please seek professional help. Know though that you can overcome this disorder. Suicidal thoughts have been a major ocd theme for me for a long time. I try to just say things like "maybe i do want to kill myself". Its not easy and I still go on runaway mental rumination about it but you can learn to manage it.
But I appreciate everyone's support. This app and community has been a life saver for me (as I've never met anyone else that has OCD in my life).
I have this too... sometimes im like ... do I want to die?? Or am I going to black out and hurt myself
Yep
Thanks @phisch I am seeking professional help. I guess that can be an effective method on beating OCD depending on your theme, but in my case it doesn't work. My OCD has to do with false memories and believing that I've cheated on my partner. So if I accept that these thoughts might be true I'm accepting the fact that I'm a monster who doesn't deserve to be with my partner.
Yep, I can relate :/ It’s not a constant theme for me, but sometimes I obsess over whether or not in the future I might become a murderer or lose my mind and hurt someone, and I can become pretty suicidal bc I’d rather me die than lose control of myself and hurt someone else. Also, depression is a pain in the butt, and sometimes just tells you you deserve or need to die anyway, so the two combined are just loads of fun lol But keep coming on here for support:) We’re in this together, and no matter how real it seems, we are the only things that are real. OCD is - and forever will be - an intangible liar, incapable of reproducing our fears in reality. WOW just as I was typing that last sentence, I thought “but maybe it could??” Oh joy?
@Maureen - do you truly believe that if you cheated on your partner that you are a monster?
Yes I do. I love him more then I've ever loved anyone in my life, and even though he's so supportive either everything I'm going through before any of this started early on in our relationship he told me that he saw himself marrying me one day and I was the one, and the only thing that would ever break us up is if we cheated on each other. I also used to have Harm OCD, so feeling like I'm a monster capable of hurting people is a constant theme for me.
And deserve to die? If that’s an OCD thought, then maybe you could try to do an exposure. But if it’s a you thought - know that you deserve to live, even if you cheated in your partner a hundred times. Sure, you’d be a really lousy spouse, but you and your life would still have value. Maybe being with your partner wouldn’t be in the cards, but you could rescue an animal from a kill shelter, you might become friends with someone just when they were thinking of ending it all themselves, maybe you’d compliment someone just when they needed it most. Just because you make big mistakes doesn’t mean you aren’t capable of enormous compassion and deserving of joy❤️
I don't want to live without him. I've been afraid from day one of losing him. Now that OCD has relapsed I'm terrified of what is real and what's just OCD/false memories, and the uncertainty is driving me to intense guilt and insanity. And even though I know you are right Devon (because I'd tell anyone else the same thing) it's hard to accept and apply it to myself. Thank you for the support though ❤️
Oh boy do I know it:( I so often discount sage advice I know to be true when it comes to my own life. Although cheating on your partner and murdering someone are two very different things. So I can’t apply the same logic to my obsession. Bc if I did kill someone in the future, I would be a monster:( Ah, OCD, what’re you doing messing w all of our heads?
(PLEASE HELP IM BEGGING!) Hey guys, right now I’m having suicidal OCD and it’s really fucking scaring me because I know I want to live but it’s feeling like I’m going to end my life any second or any day now and that I’m going to die soon, and I’m afraid that I’m going to come up with a plan and go through with it, or say fuck it, I don’t care about recovery, be selfish and just do it. I’m SO scared I don’t know what to do anymore, I don’t know if these are real suicidal thoughts or just my OCD attacking me and I’m genuinely scared for my life. It’s like every second of the day I get a stupid intrusive suicidal thought and it makes me feel like I’m really suicidal and that I don’t want to live anymore, for ANYTHING positive I hear, I twist it and make it negative and tell myself, you’re going to die soon, or you’re gonna kill yourself anyway, you don’t have a future, you don’t care anymore. I even feel a lil bit down and sad when I get these thoughts and I start to feel depersonalization, I almost feel depressed when I get these thoughts all day and it makes me feel like I’m genuinely gonna get depressed and the suicidal thoughts will become REAL I’m so scared. Even when my parents tell me that I’m going to be ok and not do anything, I tell myself in my mind that I’m still going to go through with suicide and just kill myself. I don’t have a set plan and I’m afraid that I may develop a plan and want to go through with it. IM SCARED FOR MY LIFE! IM SO FUCKING SCARED PLEASE HELP PLEASE! Anyone that has gone through this PLEASE HELP! Going into a hospital won’t help because I’m not ACTUALLY suicidal but these thoughts make me FEEL like I am and it’s just SO confusing I don’t know what’s real and what’s not!!! PLEASE HELP ANYONE!!!! I’m so fucking scared ??
I can’t figure out if I’m really suicidal or just obsessing over the thought of it. Im to scared to even do it. I don't know if this is my OCD or what but for the past week or so it's been really bothering me these thoughts that I am on edge, scared. I haven't eaten in 3 days. I have imagined every single way of doing it, and everything and it makes me SICK. It feels like an urge at this point. I start to feel like maybe I could actually do it, then I feel myself about to go into a panic attack. I already feel derealization where this world doesn't feel real and nobody seems real to me, and my family feels like strangers and I'm just really scared. I feel very scared. I don't physically feel like I'm "here." I feel like my mind is lost. I feel like I just want to be at peace and then I think I’m seriously suicidal and the cycle just keeps repeating itself. Im sick to my stomach and terrified.
Why do intrusive thoughts feel so real? I sometimes fear it isn't OCD and I actually do feel/think those things and it causes me immense distress.
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