Feeling like a failure

Hey all! I just joined this app and wanted to ask for your thoughts and encouragement on something I’ve been experiencing lately. (*long post ahead*) I’ve had an OCD diagnosis for about 2 years now, along with generalized anxiety, depersonalization symptoms, and depression diagnoses since my teens (I’m 24). Been lucky to have great family and healthcare that have helped me get out of some very dark places. I’m currently on a very high dose of Prozac, a smaller dose of Wellbutrin, and have been in therapy pretty consistently since my late teens. Life is pretty good....I’m in grad school and am doing well socially and academically. I am moving out to another part of the country to do an internship for 10 weeks, starting this Friday. But with all of this great and wonderful stuff in life, I have definitely noticed my OCD getting worse, despite my meds and self care. I’ve been having more obsessive fears and doing the rituals and compulsions to soothe those fears. It’s taking up much more of my mental space than it had for the past 2 years or so. I think part of it is the big change of moving to a new place temporarily, finishing my first year of grad school, and going from being insanely busy to having a month of downtime that is just now wrapping up. I’m getting scared that things are going to get really bad again — so far I’ve been managing with mindfulness and acceptance, and reading up on tactics for managing intrusive thoughts and accompanying compulsions. But I am so afraid that things will get to be into the dark and horrible place they were in 2 years ago. My OCD has been really mild the past few years, since I started the meds, and to feel it flare up again is really REALLY distressing. It makes me scared that the meds aren’t working, or that all the thoughts and fears are real. I know this isn’t the truth, logically, but my OCD and anxiety are running with it. I’m just wondering if anyone else has experienced this (change-related flare ups and the fears accompanied by them) and has tools to manage relapse or flare ups. Thanks in advance :) :)

Hi All - I have OCD, anxiety and depression but after a couple years on meds and therapy have been doing fairly well so decided to slowly go off my medicine. Well, I was doing really well and now five days post going off meds I’m really struggling today. Anxious, crying, panic mode intrusive thought triggers and overall overwhelming feeling. I’m almost wondering if my fears of going off medicine have just spilled over and my OCD is triggering this feeling. Or if I made the wrong decision and that going off medication to balance me out is just where I need to be right now. Just really hard to be present Anyone else been through this? Any advice or ways to process. Going to get back into therapy for sure and support groups.

Hi all, my name is Ryan and this is the first post I am sharing on this app. I struggle with a lot of forms of OCD, as I’m sure many of you do as well. My first memory of experiencing OCD symptoms was when I was 2.5 ish. However I did not get formally diagnosed until I was 25 after the OCD becoming debilitating during 2020. I got prescribed medicine then. It helped a bit but while on it I still experience symptoms. I feel like medicine silences the irrationality a bit. But it’s always still there. I’ll be honest I don’t like taking medicine. I don’t like the way it makes me feel, how it numbs some things but intensifies others. When I have gone off my medicine for one reason or another my symptoms definitely intensify. I am currently off and strongly considering starting again because OCD is starting to control my life again. Since I went without medicine for 25 years of life it’s so hard to justify taking it. I sort of feel guilty, like I was able to do it without before. My OCD has gotten worse throughout the years but I also remember some really hard times before I was diagnosed and I got through it. I wish there was a better option. The medicine isn’t perfect but it’s something. It’s a constant struggle for me.