Hi ask in in the middle of an argument with a friend. And I'm having a major urge to seek reassurance. Like chest pain amount is anxiety level. I have failed my ERP today by trying to get reassurance but both people are aware of my OCD and rightly answered may or may not. Anyone have tips on how to get through this? I thought I was on the other side of this but OCD is raring up.
You’re going to be the villain in somebody’s story. If you’re trying to seek reassurance that you are in the right then don’t bother. Maybe you are, maybe you aren’t literally applies here. If you’re arguing over text, stop. Get up and go do something you had planned today. It’s normal to feel stressed when arguing… I suggest you abandon the argument for now and tell them respectfully that you’ll speak to them later on and later on you tackle the issue together instead of arguing over it. If you don’t agree on something agree to disagree.. people are allowed to have different opinions. Our own ways of thinking aren’t always the right way to others and vice versa.
I am also mid argument and it was turned on me like I'm the bad guy. I just wanted to ask why they were upset with me and they unloaded on me.
An argument with your friend is naturally a painful situation—your OCD will seize on that, naturally. You’re going to have to let it go. EVERYONE — and I do mean everyone — has done something wrong in their lives: insulted people or hurt them irredeemably. People have bullied and hurt and become far worse villains than you could imagine. (Or knowing OCD, you probably could imagine.) Don’t try and seek reassurance, because sometimes you have to let yourself be in the wrong. Trust me, it happens! Take deep breaths, allow the fear in. You’ll feel like crying or screaming. Then let it out, focus on something else, move in. When the thoughts come in again, treat them like a mildly annoying friend: acknowledge them but don’t really let their words into your mind. I promise you’ll get through this.
I actually don't think I'm in the wrong this time but it's frustrating to have all my words twisted but this comment is helpful. Thank you.
@Catperson10 Hmm. I’ve never had obsessions surrounding this topic, so I can’t tell you what to do. All I can say is that OCD is going to twist your mind and make you unbelievably anxious—but that’s not you. It’s definitely a frustrating situation, both the OCD and the argument, but the latter will be resolved on its own and the first can only be resolved while you make an attempt to fight the OCD part of your mind. So glad my last comment helped and hope everything works out for you!
They won't discuss with me is the issue they're saying there's no issue and that I'm bothering them while they're busy.
But not like in a kind way.
@Catperson10 There’s no argument if they’re telling you they don’t want to discuss it further. Stop messaging them. Give them space and time and don’t pressure them to tell you what you’ve done. You might not have done anything and they’re having a bad day. You never know. Go and do something you had planned today.
People who have experienced ROCD- I had a rough day yesterday with my boyfriend due to acting on some compulsions. My compulsion is to seek reassurance. It was just not a good night because he was getting impatient, I was getting sensitive.. just not good. Anyway, we’re good now, but I just feel uneasy. My OCD always continues because after I complete a compulsion, I feel guilty and then I get more irrational thoughts that my boyfriend will leave me... thus I seek more reassurance. How do I get out of this insecure space in my head WITHOUT seeking reassurance again? Does this last a long time?
I keep obsessing that my boyfriend is disappointed in me / annoyed for a situation that happened and I keep asking for reassurance which he keeps providing. I know I shouldn’t ask as the ocd wants that, and it’s going in circles. Does anyone have any advice on what to do to get over the discomfort ? My ocd literally anytime there is an awkward moment or argument gives me the thought see things are ruined you ruined them and now they’ll never ever be the same. But my partner moves on quickly and says it was no big deal. Sitting with the anxiety and doing nothing isn’t working , I keep giving into reassurance seeking....I have tried distract skills like tv , internet , music, but then without fail by the end of the day it’s back on my mind. Ugh ?
Sometimes I am triggered so badly that if I don’t receive automatic reassurance or consolation it feels like the OCD attack will linger until I ultimately seek out the compulsion (typically confessing to my mother or a therapist.) How do you go about your day when something so huge is nagging you? I need to go on a drive and visit my father but what I really want right now is for someone (usually an authority figure) to tell me that it is all OK.
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