Hi ask in in the middle of an argument with a friend. And I'm having a major urge to seek reassurance. Like chest pain amount is anxiety level. I have failed my ERP today by trying to get reassurance but both people are aware of my OCD and rightly answered may or may not. Anyone have tips on how to get through this? I thought I was on the other side of this but OCD is raring up.
You’re going to be the villain in somebody’s story. If you’re trying to seek reassurance that you are in the right then don’t bother. Maybe you are, maybe you aren’t literally applies here. If you’re arguing over text, stop. Get up and go do something you had planned today. It’s normal to feel stressed when arguing… I suggest you abandon the argument for now and tell them respectfully that you’ll speak to them later on and later on you tackle the issue together instead of arguing over it. If you don’t agree on something agree to disagree.. people are allowed to have different opinions. Our own ways of thinking aren’t always the right way to others and vice versa.
I am also mid argument and it was turned on me like I'm the bad guy. I just wanted to ask why they were upset with me and they unloaded on me.
An argument with your friend is naturally a painful situation—your OCD will seize on that, naturally. You’re going to have to let it go. EVERYONE — and I do mean everyone — has done something wrong in their lives: insulted people or hurt them irredeemably. People have bullied and hurt and become far worse villains than you could imagine. (Or knowing OCD, you probably could imagine.) Don’t try and seek reassurance, because sometimes you have to let yourself be in the wrong. Trust me, it happens! Take deep breaths, allow the fear in. You’ll feel like crying or screaming. Then let it out, focus on something else, move in. When the thoughts come in again, treat them like a mildly annoying friend: acknowledge them but don’t really let their words into your mind. I promise you’ll get through this.
I actually don't think I'm in the wrong this time but it's frustrating to have all my words twisted but this comment is helpful. Thank you.
@Catperson10 Hmm. I’ve never had obsessions surrounding this topic, so I can’t tell you what to do. All I can say is that OCD is going to twist your mind and make you unbelievably anxious—but that’s not you. It’s definitely a frustrating situation, both the OCD and the argument, but the latter will be resolved on its own and the first can only be resolved while you make an attempt to fight the OCD part of your mind. So glad my last comment helped and hope everything works out for you!
They won't discuss with me is the issue they're saying there's no issue and that I'm bothering them while they're busy.
But not like in a kind way.
@Catperson10 There’s no argument if they’re telling you they don’t want to discuss it further. Stop messaging them. Give them space and time and don’t pressure them to tell you what you’ve done. You might not have done anything and they’re having a bad day. You never know. Go and do something you had planned today.
I need a different perspective on this. I feel like I'm being run through the ringer. I'm doing what I can to avoid reassurance and not avoid triggers but I get triggered every day. I'm trying so hard to sit with the panic and the horror but it's so hard. It gets to the point I feel physically sick. Is there anything that I can do to help with this? I feel alone. I don't feel strong, I feel like a punching bag. Why is this so hard to master? I really want to know it gets easier. I've been suffering from POCD that has evolved and gotten worse and worse over the past eight months that has been torturing me multiple times on a daily basis and I feel like I'm drowning. I want to run away and hide because my life feel like it's seconds from being ruined. Please, please tell me this gets easier. That this ERP therapy will stop making me feel like I'm dying. The small moments of victory feel so brief only for me to get hit with another wave. There is so much uncertainty over such a horrific thing I feel ill. I feel afraid to be alone with my mind. Please if anyone out there can please give me tips on how to handle ERP. One moment I think I'm finally beating this thing and the next it's got me pinned and I'm terrified my life will be ruined. I want my peace back, I need help and I'm doing everything I can to resist compulsions but I feel so alone and dirty and disgusting. Please help me. Thank you for any advice 💕
Sometimes I am triggered so badly that if I don’t receive automatic reassurance or consolation it feels like the OCD attack will linger until I ultimately seek out the compulsion (typically confessing to my mother or a therapist.) How do you go about your day when something so huge is nagging you? I need to go on a drive and visit my father but what I really want right now is for someone (usually an authority figure) to tell me that it is all OK.
Can someone please help me understand why ERP therapists encourage OCD sufferers to not seek constant reassurance. Many times telling me to just ask once, when I tried ERP therapy, gives me even more agitation and anxiety than anything else. I have other mental health conditions that makes this request difficult. Please explain.
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