Shame OCD

Is anyone in a relationship, an extremely happy one and loyal one. But you see a person and you find them attractive and you feel guilty? You feel like you’re cheating and it’s consuming your mind.

Givingitmyall

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

I used to struggle with that exact thing a lot. It was one of the reasons I started therapy. I would feel extremely guilty if I though about anyone besides my husband. I try to look at it like this; having romantic or sexual thoughts about other people is just a sign of a healthy mind and hormones. I know it’s super hard to separate the thoughts from actions. I know it’s just my OCD when that happens because I’ve gotten over that and my brain finds something else to shame myself for.

worrier 24

Date posted: 2y

It’s not so to find other men attractive. Although before my bad ocd episode first started I would get thoughts like why are you dressing nice when you’re going out without your boyfriend or making sure I don’t look at other men. if any man messages me I’d have to tell my partner to prove I didn’t message them back. whenever I look back on my life I think I’ve always had ocd tendencies. This isn’t a main theme of mine but it does sometimes come up. Remember ocd is a liar you don’t have to prove yourself.

messP

Date posted: 2y

I’m so sorry to hear that… Did the therapy help with that :( and is that normal that we think like that?

messP

Date posted: 2y

So you’re saying these thoughts are normal to have? Even though you’re happy in your marriage

worrier 24

Date posted: 2y

@pamg199 Yes absolutely they are normal. Stressing about them isn’t though try concentrate on the positive aspects of your relationship. I know it’s difficult as ocd will try ruin everything. Don’t let it

messP

Date posted: 2y

@worrier 24 That was really helpful!! Thank you so much. Sorry for asking, but your therapist, did you find them here?

worrier 24

Date posted: 2y

@pamg199 I’m on a waiting list on the nhs I had a pre session consultation over the phone and she said it sounds a lot like I have ocd :/ waiting for cbt therapy I have spend a lot of time researching ocd over the years to try figure it out myself but ocd is so cruel sometimes it can get bad to the point where you isolate yourself but we can all get through this 🙏 intrusive thoughts are the hardest part for me 😔

messP

Date posted: 2y

What’s NHS? I completely understand what you’re feeling, have you tried medication? I’m on Paroxetine and it actually helps a little!!

worrier 24

Date posted: 2y

@pamg199 In the UK we can get free health care called the NHS where many treatments are covered my taxpayers

worrier 24

Date posted: 2y

@pamg199 I take propranolol & sertraline. The sertraline did help when I first started taking it but still have some really bad days

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 22w

I feel like a cheater, please help :(

I’ve been struggling with something that’s been really overwhelming, and I’m hoping to get some perspective from others here. I feel a lot of guilt about it, and I’m not sure if I’m alone in this experience. Lately, I’ve found myself daydreaming about romantic situations or getting caught up in ‘what if’ scenarios—where I wonder if I could develop feelings for someone else, or if someone develops feelings for me. The thing is, I’m in a relationship that I love, and I don’t want to act on these thoughts at all. What makes it even harder is that these thoughts often hyperfixate on one specific friend, and sometimes they feel entertaining or give me a dopamine rush. But then, of course, I feel even more guilty because it makes me feel like I’m betraying my boyfriend. These thoughts usually happen when I’m upset and looking for comfort, but then they morph into romantic scenarios, which makes me feel so disloyal. I’m constantly going back and forth between feeling curious or entertained by the thoughts and then feeling horrible for even allowing them to happen in the first place. I keep confessing these thoughts to my boyfriend, and he tries to be understanding. He’s just never been the type to daydream, so he doesn’t know if this is something other people experience or if it’s just me. I feel like such an awful girlfriend. Has anyone else dealt with something like this?

helpme1234

Date posted: 9w

relationship ocd

my relationship ocd theme is back and it hasn’t for a while. i keep having intrusive thoughts about a friend even tho i have a boyfriend of 6 years. i like do not like this person they are good looking but im not like into them. i like feel guilty for no reason and i feel like i need to tell my boyfriend even tho like we’ve been through this before and it only gets better if i tell him but if i don’t i feel like im hiding something. AHH like i don’t even wanna see that person anymore

Anonymous

Date posted: 8w

Relationship OCD- fear of cheating

I have this deep fear I’ll accidentally cheat on my long term partner. This fear was initially triggered a couple years ago after being at a bar with my friends where I enjoyed the attention of being flirted with by a stranger. Because of my enjoyment of receiving verbal attention, I began spiraling about what if I accidentally cheat. Since then I have made multiple confessions to my partner to seek reassurance, replayed events over and over in my head, spent hours googling/looking at reddit threads, and now I dread “bar like” situations where I know my partner won’t be around. Today I was triggered and have wasted about 4-5 hours of my day ruminating. Does anyone else with relationship ocd struggle with this fear and have any tips?

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