Shame OCD
Is anyone in a relationship, an extremely happy one and loyal one. But you see a person and you find them attractive and you feel guilty? You feel like you’re cheating and it’s consuming your mind.
I used to struggle with that exact thing a lot. It was one of the reasons I started therapy. I would feel extremely guilty if I though about anyone besides my husband. I try to look at it like this; having romantic or sexual thoughts about other people is just a sign of a healthy mind and hormones. I know it’s super hard to separate the thoughts from actions. I know it’s just my OCD when that happens because I’ve gotten over that and my brain finds something else to shame myself for.
It’s not so to find other men attractive. Although before my bad ocd episode first started I would get thoughts like why are you dressing nice when you’re going out without your boyfriend or making sure I don’t look at other men. if any man messages me I’d have to tell my partner to prove I didn’t message them back. whenever I look back on my life I think I’ve always had ocd tendencies. This isn’t a main theme of mine but it does sometimes come up. Remember ocd is a liar you don’t have to prove yourself.
I’m so sorry to hear that… Did the therapy help with that :( and is that normal that we think like that?
So you’re saying these thoughts are normal to have? Even though you’re happy in your marriage
@pamg199 Yes absolutely they are normal. Stressing about them isn’t though try concentrate on the positive aspects of your relationship. I know it’s difficult as ocd will try ruin everything. Don’t let it
@worrier 24 That was really helpful!! Thank you so much. Sorry for asking, but your therapist, did you find them here?
@pamg199 I’m on a waiting list on the nhs I had a pre session consultation over the phone and she said it sounds a lot like I have ocd :/ waiting for cbt therapy I have spend a lot of time researching ocd over the years to try figure it out myself but ocd is so cruel sometimes it can get bad to the point where you isolate yourself but we can all get through this 🙏 intrusive thoughts are the hardest part for me 😔
What’s NHS? I completely understand what you’re feeling, have you tried medication? I’m on Paroxetine and it actually helps a little!!
@pamg199 In the UK we can get free health care called the NHS where many treatments are covered my taxpayers
@pamg199 I take propranolol & sertraline. The sertraline did help when I first started taking it but still have some really bad days
Hi ... so im suffering with relationship ocd... my partner is the best and I love her to bits... but I'm constantly checking my attraction towards other women to see how attracted to them I am and constantly imaging that if I were put in a situation (erotically) where I had to say yes or no to cheating would i 100% be able to say no? And then I'm not sure if I could... (this is all Purley based on attractiveness) which scares the crap outa me!! And sometimes I feel.like I'm more attracted to some other women rather than my partner (physically) and question if this is normal? Is it? Is this relationship ocd? :( :(
Is it normal to find someone else attractive. When I get this thought or feeling.. whatever it is.. I feel as though I’m about to act on something. Or I guess my fear is that I WANT to act on something even though I know I don’t want to because I love my partner and family and I don’t want to jeopardize it. But I still get this urge when I find someone attractive and so my best idea is to avoid them. Does this happen to anyone else in a long term relationship/married? It makes me feel horrible and I hate having to confess this.
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year coming this May. I have never had feelings for someone like this and I genuinely see myself living the rest of my life with him. Talking to him comes effortlessly. He sees me for all that I am and works with me. My family has already begun developing a connection with him as well as I have with his family. I’ve never felt so at home until meeting him. Lately my ROCD symptoms have been playing on the narrative of him either finding a new girl that interests him and is somehow “better” than me OR me ruining our relationship because of potential cheating I have absolutely no actual interest in cheating because I know he’s my person and so am his. I know I’m going to marry him and I know that I want him to be the father of my kids. I want to see him grow and I want to build a foundation of unconditional love with him. So why do I shame myself? There’s this shop that him and I go to quite frequently, and the last time we went an employer that we typically see every-time we come began talking to me personally. We were all just talking about movies but my boyfriend mentioned that he felt like he was flirting with me. I begun feeling bad like I was doing something wrong. My mind started telling me that I liked having him “flirt” with me and that it made me feel desirable and confident in knowing that I was still considered attractive. I’m scared because now everytime we go the employee seems to be staring at me and when I went today he actually gave me something for free which led to me thinking I was playing into the flirting narrative and that this would lead to something worse (Though I still have no interest in doing so, just anxiety about that happening is the best way to put it) Has anyone else experienced something similar? Is there any advice that can be given? I don’t think anything’s going to happen, but what If I do like knowing someone likes me even if it’s not reciprocated? Does that make me a cheater? Or is that the product of unresolved self worth issues?
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
