- Date posted
- 2y
Shame OCD
Is anyone in a relationship, an extremely happy one and loyal one. But you see a person and you find them attractive and you feel guilty? You feel like you’re cheating and it’s consuming your mind.
Is anyone in a relationship, an extremely happy one and loyal one. But you see a person and you find them attractive and you feel guilty? You feel like you’re cheating and it’s consuming your mind.
I used to struggle with that exact thing a lot. It was one of the reasons I started therapy. I would feel extremely guilty if I though about anyone besides my husband. I try to look at it like this; having romantic or sexual thoughts about other people is just a sign of a healthy mind and hormones. I know it’s super hard to separate the thoughts from actions. I know it’s just my OCD when that happens because I’ve gotten over that and my brain finds something else to shame myself for.
It’s not so to find other men attractive. Although before my bad ocd episode first started I would get thoughts like why are you dressing nice when you’re going out without your boyfriend or making sure I don’t look at other men. if any man messages me I’d have to tell my partner to prove I didn’t message them back. whenever I look back on my life I think I’ve always had ocd tendencies. This isn’t a main theme of mine but it does sometimes come up. Remember ocd is a liar you don’t have to prove yourself.
I’m so sorry to hear that… Did the therapy help with that :( and is that normal that we think like that?
So you’re saying these thoughts are normal to have? Even though you’re happy in your marriage
@pamg199 Yes absolutely they are normal. Stressing about them isn’t though try concentrate on the positive aspects of your relationship. I know it’s difficult as ocd will try ruin everything. Don’t let it
@worrier 24 That was really helpful!! Thank you so much. Sorry for asking, but your therapist, did you find them here?
@pamg199 I’m on a waiting list on the nhs I had a pre session consultation over the phone and she said it sounds a lot like I have ocd :/ waiting for cbt therapy I have spend a lot of time researching ocd over the years to try figure it out myself but ocd is so cruel sometimes it can get bad to the point where you isolate yourself but we can all get through this 🙏 intrusive thoughts are the hardest part for me 😔
What’s NHS? I completely understand what you’re feeling, have you tried medication? I’m on Paroxetine and it actually helps a little!!
@pamg199 In the UK we can get free health care called the NHS where many treatments are covered my taxpayers
@pamg199 I take propranolol & sertraline. The sertraline did help when I first started taking it but still have some really bad days
I’ve been struggling with something that’s been really overwhelming, and I’m hoping to get some perspective from others here. I feel a lot of guilt about it, and I’m not sure if I’m alone in this experience. Lately, I’ve found myself daydreaming about romantic situations or getting caught up in ‘what if’ scenarios—where I wonder if I could develop feelings for someone else, or if someone develops feelings for me. The thing is, I’m in a relationship that I love, and I don’t want to act on these thoughts at all. What makes it even harder is that these thoughts often hyperfixate on one specific friend, and sometimes they feel entertaining or give me a dopamine rush. But then, of course, I feel even more guilty because it makes me feel like I’m betraying my boyfriend. These thoughts usually happen when I’m upset and looking for comfort, but then they morph into romantic scenarios, which makes me feel so disloyal. I’m constantly going back and forth between feeling curious or entertained by the thoughts and then feeling horrible for even allowing them to happen in the first place. I keep confessing these thoughts to my boyfriend, and he tries to be understanding. He’s just never been the type to daydream, so he doesn’t know if this is something other people experience or if it’s just me. I feel like such an awful girlfriend. Has anyone else dealt with something like this?
Hi everyone, I’m a 30-year-old woman, and I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 5 years. I’ve always felt emotionally close to him — he’s caring, supportive, and we planned a future together, including having a family. I don’t want to leave him. He means so much to me. But for a while now, I’ve been obsessing over the fact that I don’t feel much sexual attraction to him anymore. It’s not like I never felt anything — when we first met, there were butterflies, excitement, emotional connection… something real. He was never “just a friend” to me. But the physical side of the relationship feels like it’s slowly faded, and I’m panicking about what that means. I keep thinking things like: – “Maybe I chose the wrong person.” – “You can’t be in love without sexual desire.” – “If I was truly in love, I would still want him.” – “What if I’ve been lying to myself this whole time?” Sometimes my body reacts — I can feel physical closeness or even arousal — but my mind shuts down and says: “no, this isn’t right.” Other times, I feel tension, resistance, or even disgust during intimacy, and I can’t tell if that’s anxiety or if something is fundamentally wrong. What makes this even more confusing is that I truly believe that real love includes sexual attraction. For me, it’s all part of one feeling — not separate. So if the attraction is gone, does that mean the love is too? Is it possible that this is still OCD — that my mind is obsessing and disconnecting me from my real feelings? Has anyone experienced something similar? Any support would mean so much. I feel so stuck between my mind and my heart.
my relationship ocd theme is back and it hasn’t for a while. i keep having intrusive thoughts about a friend even tho i have a boyfriend of 6 years. i like do not like this person they are good looking but im not like into them. i like feel guilty for no reason and i feel like i need to tell my boyfriend even tho like we’ve been through this before and it only gets better if i tell him but if i don’t i feel like im hiding something. AHH like i don’t even wanna see that person anymore
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