@Applecore I remember when I was 17-18, and I had done my private time to explicit content of cartoon videos comics of women with guys private parts doing stuff by themselves or with regular women and my HOCD is telling me that I'm in denial because of it, when I just thought it was another form of women doing explicit things with each other things... I am awake in the late night as I type all of this out.. I don't think I can ever forgive myself for the past private time to I*li other explicit comics fanfics with adult and really young cartoon characters couple of times unknowingly when I was 12, and 14 and occasionally unknowingly when I was
17-18. (Ex. Marge and Lisa) I had stopped three years ago, and l'm 21 now but I'm getting intrusive memories of doing it and I immensely regret it and feel triggered by it... I didn't know what the content was in any way at the time or what it
represented... and while I avoided most of the content, the videos of them had millions of views, both the videos and the fanfics / comics were on public sites, and some of the creators said they were 18 in some of the videos, so I thought it was safe to watch... I don't ever want to ever be a P or a chomo at all... I don't ever want to ever be homosexual or bisexual at all...