- Username
- MissLovely
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I want to be a lesbian, I don’t actually have ocd, I’m hiding my true identity. The only one that really gives me anxiety anymore is the first one.
I want to cut my eyes out with my razor
I will one day snap and kill myself and leave my family behind to mourn for me but wish they wouldn’t because I might secretly love kids or something or be a lesbian
One day, I'll have another nervous breakdown and lose my mind. I'll end up like my old neighbor who was paranoid and did crazy things. I'll probably end up living the rest of my life in a mental hospital.
I feel like my mum is ganna get possessed now. So please, someone else, comment something terrible that you think too.
Might be a good idea to put a trigger warning on this....
I want to strangle my cats
I get the I don't have ocd thoughts too
I want to push someone off of beachy head
This is I can't put a trigger warning now I've posted it, and exposure is the best thing for ocd apparently, so the more triggered people get, the better it is suppose to be in the long run
i’m going to be a murderer because i was a bad kid
i’m not attracted to people my age anymore only kids
everyone thinks there’s something “off” about me and they wouldn’t be surprised if i was a bad person
my emotions and feelings are gone
I'm a pedophile in denial.
Everyone secretly thinks I'm a pedophile because I look shifty
Everyone reading this will now think I'm a pedophile
I will kill someone someday
I will go insane
I will accidentally type up child porn
I will write I'm a pedophile on facebook
I will say I fucked my nephew when I haven't
I will shout things out in my sleep
i’m a narcissist
I will end up with brain damage and everyone will think I'm unattractive
i’m incapable of love
i’m manipulating everyone and i don’t even know it
I've had that one too
I'm the one always in the wrong
i don’t have a conscience
I will end up in prison for something I haven't done
I will end up doing something that will get me in prison
The death penalty will come to England and I will go to prison for something that I don't want to do and I will get killed
i’m doing an exposure rn by listening to a song because i obsessed that i would hurt a baby and listen to this song like killers and rapists do in tv shows it’s so hard
I'm a horrible person and deserve for horrible things to happen to me.
I will one day end up in prison for something I didn't really do. But I deserve it anyway, because deep down, I'm a terrible person.
I want to delete these posts... Because I feel like someone I know will see them, and then they'll all realize how messed up I am and lose all respect for me. I'm trying so hard to resist deleting these posts.....
Thank you for the support. This kind of thing is very hard for me, but I know it'll help. My brain wants to ruminate on all the ways that someone I know could come across this and link it back to me, so maybe I can reassure myself that it won't happen. But I'm trying to resist because I know that's a compulsion. I just need to live with the possibility that it could happen. That's SO hard.
I'm trying medication for OCD and I don't think it's working, so my doctor is probably going to try a different kind. But part of me is scared for it to work. For most of my life, I didn't know it was OCD. But I always knew I was different. I feel like I don't know who I am without my OCD. Like I'll lose a part of myself if my OCD fades. I'm not sure what is scarier... living the rest of my life like this and maybe getting worse, or getting better but not really being "ME" anymore.
Snap on the worrying I'll go to prison for something I haven't done. And I also get the thoughts that people will link this back to me. I took a huge step a few months ago and posted my YouTube link on here. And I put the link to this app in my YouTube description. I now constantly think people will see my posts on here and get the wrong idea. But oh well it's exposure, I want to do a video on pocd. But that will be a huge trigger
i have thoughts that it’s not ocd
that i’m genuinely attracted to younger kids
i’m a sociopath
that i’m actually a pedophile
i will watch child pornography and go to jail
i’m not worried about these thoughts and actually enjoy them and i’m just denying it
i don’t care about anyone or anything
don’t do it. this is an exposure and release from your ocd. you can do this
i know it’s hard but you’re right. try and accept the unknown. you’re so strong you got this
how long and what type of meds? i promise you that recovery is worth it. you may feel different but you won’t be empty, you’ll be fulfilled
nah you’re good dude no worries
gotcha, thank you for sharing. by no improvement do you mean the thoughts, compulsions, depression, anxiety or everything
i understand, id talk to your doc about it if i were you
Thanks. Yeah, I did talk to my doc. She recently upped the dosage, but said if still no change by my next appointment, we'll try something new. I really like this doctor and think she really cares. This is my first attempt at meds for treatment. I'm usually very anxious about taking medication and things like that, but I'm really hoping it'll be worth it.
coolio??
what’s your youtube? people have made videos on it before it would be really helpful if you did!
It will trigger me so much as I've been so much more open now about my ocd on here... I will tell it to you but I do want to do the video first if that's okay, I'll let you know within a week what my YouTube channel is xx
i understand no worries dude!!❤️❤️
i keep overthinking my nerves and my legs, feet, hands, stomach, and groin and they won’t stop reacting and ughhhhhhhh
i keep checking my nerves and reactions ughhh
that i’m a bad personal who doesn’t want to be a good person
You're a kid yourself sweet, try being 19 with these thoughts, just feel happy that you're 14. I use to get the thoughts back then too, but now I'm an adult I feel even more terrible for the thoughts. Ocd is awful
Sorry, I guess that's kind of a subject for another thread, but kind of felt like it fit here, because I sometimes obsess about losing myself in the treatment.
I've been on fluoxetine for about 12 or 13 weeks. I'm past the bad side effects, but not feeling much positive change. So my Dr. said we'll give it a few more weeks, and if go improvement, try another drug. I know lots of people have to try a few before finding one that works, so trying to stay positive.
Pretty much all of the above. I just don't really feel any different. Some days, I feel like I have fewer obsessive thoughts, but other days I feel like they're as bad as ever. Most of the time, I just feel the same.
alright i’m gonna start writing my thoughts again. i’m 14 and have a crush on ponyboy curtis from the outsiders who was played by a 16 year old and he’s said to be 14 in the movie. i keep feeling creepy and just ugh. i read fanfic (yep still in that phase of my life, i’m also a maladaptive daydreamer) and then my ocd will intrude and say stuff like “he looks younger than he is, you like him when he’s younger not when he’s in other movies where he’s older,” and stuff like that.
*Trigger Warning* (Homosexual/Sexual-Orientation) Everyone who is comfortable, please post your intrusive thoughts, feelings, urges, or memories here that have to do with H/SO- OCD. What is true is that all of these things have nothing to do with who you are, and are just by-products and misconstructions of our creative brains. I want people to feel less alone and to know that they are not deviant. Thanks guys?❤️
I am probably a lot older than most members on here having had ocd for over 40 years and I have had every type of ocd but its always thoughts based and mental rituals around harming people I love. . I have been doing great using self help books, and thought I had everything under control at last. I had quit worrying about it and realised I was never going to do any of the things I feared and would never ever want to. However out of the blue a few weeks ago I had a weird but horrible thought pop up, which I tried to do exposure for, by telling myself we can say anything in our heads even if its not true, as the self help books taught me. . that then started a whole new ball game as I then started bringing the horrible thoughts up on purpose and made them the worst I could for exposure , thinking it was the right thing to do but now i am feeling even worse again as by doing that I actually said the things I feared coming into my head for example:..'I could say I want ******to happen to the people i love ( then I kept repeating in my head that I wouldnt say that) I would never want anything bad to happen to them ever , they are my world and I love them more than Ive ever loved anyone. has this exposure I tried to do become a compulsion? . I seem to be constantly repeating this and then praying to keep everyone safe,,, why am i being tortured like this its as though the ocd bully is now saying ah but what if you hurt people by saying horrible things. please, please someone help me as I am really anxious and upset over this.
I feel that this post could be triggering so please approach with caution! I’ve been having a lot of intrusive thoughts about the devil getting sent my intrusive thoughts and then making them come true. This has also led some of my intrusive thoughts to include that they’re for him. It’s really scary. I’m not even religious, but it’s really hard to shake. Does anyone have any advice or comfort? Thanks <3
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond