Does anyone get triggered alot?

Or watch violent media and etc, and how does it affect you? Just curious on ppl who deal with it

does it happen to you that you suddenly have the urge to look at the trigger on purpose (for me it makes me look at pictures and look for facial expressions that associate me with sex) people, pictures, something...? Always when I do it, it's like I deliberately imagine something sexual about it, and if there's no reaction, I imagine it until I get it? ??? What am I doing anymore?

I struggle with ruminating on things I did that I deem “cringey” or I feel others may judge me for. For example, we had a very fun and friendly work “Olympics” that I got roped into organizing. The planning process itself was stressful because I am very organized and the ladies I worked to plan it with are organized it their own different ways. That aside, the day came together very nicely. Everyone had fun, nothing went wrong, we had to time everything perfectly (we have people who flew in from out of town and had to leave at a very specific time) and there was only one game that had to be reworked to fit. Objectively it was a very good day and came together very well. However, my brain seems to want to focus on and play on a loop the one singular game I played that I completely fudged. After telling everyone not to hold the child sized bow and arrow a certain way, I of course, held it that way and proceeded to mess up, not once, but four times. A lot - but not all - of the participants were watching and my hands began to shake and I feel it was noticeable. I was the only one to struggle with it so my brain tells me everyone saw it and they were talking about it behind my back and judging me for not being able to do the thing I said not to do. Then I spiral and think of the other slightly cringey moments that I didn’t even necessarily mess up I just had a lot of anxiety during, and a lot of yes on me, and felt it was noticeable. How do you stop the rumination ? I can distract myself with a show or a book or something but it only lasts so long and then BAM the memory pops up in my brain like one of my Inside Out Emotions hit the wrong button. This is a very mild case of ruminating for me, yet I still physically cringe anytime the thought occurs. Any tips would be appreciated.