is this ocd or am i a bad person? please be honest

i sexualize everything around me and its like no matter where i look im looking at someones chest or their butt or something like that and i dont even mean to and i hate it so much, and sometimes i cant even pull my eyes away and its people i dont even find attractive, even when they are “conventionally attractive” but when they are i feel so guilty because i love my boyfriend so much bc i dont want anybody but him so why do i keep doing this? i feel like i should be able to control my eyes and im just a perv with a bad excuse

Relationship OCD

Username: JordTheNordJordTheNord

Date posted: 1y ago

Do you have a high sex drive? Whether you do or don’t doesn’t make you a bad person and it most like OCD. You are in a pattern of just looking at specific places of ppl. Maybe you talk yourself into doing by saying “don’t do it”. Therapy and ERP could definitely help. But you are not a bad partner. You don’t even act on those thoughts. I understand the guilt though and maybe you’re looking to feel more “I don’t want to look at anyone else and sexual use them because I’m in a relationship with someone I love” and that’s great! But even ppl in loving relationships without OCD do this maybe not as often but they do. We are human. Thoughts happen. Urges happen. We are human. Now since you want to quiet down those thoughts I would recommend not making them so relevant. Don’t give them so much meaning or energy. Cool you sexualized something/someone ok on with your day. Easier said than done but it could possibly help. Also, distract yourself (I know this isn’t highly recommended by some therapists but I believe it helps all humans) and shift your focus. Break the habit. Your mind is in habit of bringing up those thoughts. Fill it up with something else. I’ve actually broke this same habit myself. Do I still get sexual thoughts? Yes. However their frequency is super low and I rarely engage them and give them attention so they become fleeting.

Username: Stuart SStuart S

Date posted: 1y ago

It bothered me a lot for a really long time. Eventually I somehow learned to just tell myself that it's ok. I'm not a monster for sexualizing people, it's part of being human. I can still appreciate aspects of anyone. But it no longer feels "bad" to me. The main things for me are to make sure 1) people are comfortable around me as much as possible: people can appreciate glances, but stares make anyone uncomfortable. And 2) always try to treat people how they would want to be treated and practice consent as much as possible. Now, I'm kind of an all or nothing person, so the balance of those things is a lifelong effort, heh.

Username: ClairenzClairenz

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

This is ocd. The best way to conquer this is with your therapist 🙃.

Username: onlyagirlonlyagirl

Date posted: 1y ago

Same

Username: leafcr0nicals

Date posted: 1y ago

i feel so gross

i keep accidentally looking at peoples private parts and i don’t mean to but i just happen to glance and i hate it because i feel like i make them uncomfortable. like yesterday my friend was talking about how her shirt made her uncomfortable because it was low on her chest and i glanced down there and i feel so bad cus i made her even more uncomfortable than she was before. i naturally keep my eyes to the floor but sometimes my end up on someone’s butt and i have to look up and tell myself how horrible of a person i am that i did that.

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 41w ago

pls help. should i confess?

i’m very aware that one of my main compulsions is confessing/seeking repentance, specifically from my boyfriend. however i can never seem to get past this one specific event from my past. to sum it up, i remember while having me time (if yk what i mean) i kept having random ppl that i know in my daily life popping into my head and sexual images of them kept coming in as well. i felt like i couldn’t fully control it which makes me think it was OCD and i didn’t know it at the time. however, a specific person that kept coming to mind is now standing out to me. i would be lying if i said he was not an attractive person, but i would never in a million years actually want to be with him in any way. i love my boyfriend with every fiber in me and i am confident i would never do anything to jeopardize that. the thing is that since i know i found him attractive at the time i am struggling with my intentions behind those thoughts i was having about him. although its out of character i wonder if it was real thoughts and not just intrusive. it feels like a cycle of me trying to figure it out and i feel so incredibly guilty at times over it that i feel as though i should confess this to my boyfriend. this happened over a year ago and this person is no longer even in my life but i still can’t shake it. is this something i would need to confess to him or is it just my OCD taking? also, something that feeds into my obsessing over this is that i remember distinctly trying to make sure i looked okay when i was around this person in the past. not in a way that i wanted him, but just that i didn’t want him to think i was ugly or anything. i don’t think this is uncommon to want to look good in front of an attractive person, but at the same time i wonder if i was seeking attention for the wrong reasons or something. it’s just so conflicting bc it’s very out of character for me.

Username: SadUnicorn3 🦄

Date posted: 37w ago

Please reply

Does ocd put these types of thoughts in your head about anyone that’s even remotely attractive… stuff like “they look good or would look good naked” and puts images there of them people like I don’t want to think this stuff it makes me feel actually disgusting. Especially when it’s saying it about people from my past I don’t want to think this stuff at all. I hate this illness. How am I meant to ignore these thoughts I feel horrible I love my boyfriend so much

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