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Do you have a high sex drive? Whether you do or don’t doesn’t make you a bad person and it most like OCD. You are in a pattern of just looking at specific places of ppl. Maybe you talk yourself into doing by saying “don’t do it”. Therapy and ERP could definitely help. But you are not a bad partner. You don’t even act on those thoughts. I understand the guilt though and maybe you’re looking to feel more “I don’t want to look at anyone else and sexual use them because I’m in a relationship with someone I love” and that’s great! But even ppl in loving relationships without OCD do this maybe not as often but they do. We are human. Thoughts happen. Urges happen. We are human. Now since you want to quiet down those thoughts I would recommend not making them so relevant. Don’t give them so much meaning or energy. Cool you sexualized something/someone ok on with your day. Easier said than done but it could possibly help. Also, distract yourself (I know this isn’t highly recommended by some therapists but I believe it helps all humans) and shift your focus. Break the habit. Your mind is in habit of bringing up those thoughts. Fill it up with something else. I’ve actually broke this same habit myself. Do I still get sexual thoughts? Yes. However their frequency is super low and I rarely engage them and give them attention so they become fleeting.

It bothered me a lot for a really long time. Eventually I somehow learned to just tell myself that it's ok. I'm not a monster for sexualizing people, it's part of being human. I can still appreciate aspects of anyone. But it no longer feels "bad" to me. The main things for me are to make sure 1) people are comfortable around me as much as possible: people can appreciate glances, but stares make anyone uncomfortable. And 2) always try to treat people how they would want to be treated and practice consent as much as possible. Now, I'm kind of an all or nothing person, so the balance of those things is a lifelong effort, heh.

This is ocd. The best way to conquer this is with your therapist 🙃.

Same