4 am, Night Journal

I’ve gotten really good recently at being able to let OCD scream in the background and just go about my day. As long as I have things to do. But at night, ugh. At night as I lie in bed I have nothing but my thoughts. Every night for the past few weeks I have woken up and immediately the rumination begins. Every awful thing I’ve ever done in my life comes back to haunt me. And if during the day, something I’ve done in the past is a 3/10 awful, at night it’s a 7/10 awful. I also start worrying about my health. Things that during the day don’t seem scary, or just a little scary, become absolute monsters and I’ve convinced myself that it’s serious and I’m probably dying. (Even though I’ve gone to the doctor…) Anyone else experience this? How do you stop the rumination when you’re alone with your mind?

nonagon

Date posted: 1y ago

What I tend to do is focus on counting my breathing (assuming you have an OCD that plays nice with numbers), 4 seconds breathing in, 4 secs hold, 4 secs breathing out, 4 secs hold, then repeat... While doing this I also try to touch my chest to feel my heart, or hug and touch something I like, like a blanket or doll. I try to focus on my senses in ways where I can be "present." OCD for me tends to attack the past or future, so I can maintain myself better through focusing on the present. It's like not letting OCD in, so my head is relatively empty.

emilytravels...

Date posted: 1y ago

@nonagon Thanks so much, this is really helpful!

nonagon

Date posted: 1y ago

@emilytravelswild - No problem at all! You got this.

Ruminating1

Date posted: 1y ago

I feel the exact same way about thoughts feeling like a 3/10 during the day and a 9/10 at night. Someone once explained it to me something like this: “it is because the primal part of our brains are wired to become hyper alert and hypersensitive at night, when real threats/dangers/unknowns were more likely to take place in the early times.

JordTheNord

Date posted: 1y ago

This use to happen to me a lot as well. I would let mine play out (which hurt lol), get up and walk around and focus on breathing or grabbing a drink, and just keep practicing all the other OCD techniques to handle the thoughts. Eventually it goes away or at least it goes from your 7/10 to like 2/10 all the way to 0/10. Keep up the great work!

klin18

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

I don’t have great advice, I just think the way you describe letting OCD “scream in the background” is so perfect.

Anonymous

Date posted: 22w ago

Ruminating Thoughts & Anxiety

I'm having the hardest time right now with my own ruminating negative thoughts that may or may not possibly come true. I fear the worst and replay what that looks like in my head over and over. The best I can do is my best and wait for the horror to end. I want to cry, but can't. I'm scared and alone in my head. My anxiety is extreme. What should I do in the meantime while I'm going through this? How can I minimize or stop the way I'm feeling? Please, I need help.

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 12w ago

The Morning Anxiety

I always wake up full of dread and fear. My anxiety is through the roof two seconds after I open my eyes. Someone on this app gave me a similar insight once I believe. But I think anxiety is just the urge to ruminate. About what? It probably doesn’t matter, as long as I can torture myself, as OCD loves. Does anyone else relate to this or agree maybe?

Anonymous

Date posted: 10w ago

Afraid I’ll never be able to stop thinking

My OCD has been terrible the for the past two weeks. I have a fear that I will never be able to get out of the thought loop. I am hyper aware of my thoughts and it disturbs me. I haven’t been able to eat for 10 days. I force myself. I haven’t been able to sleep for more than a couple hours. Then I wake up and ruminate for a couple hours, until I’m exhausted. I’m also afraid I’ll never sleep well again. And I’m afraid I’ll never eat and enjoy my food again. I’m afraid I’ll never be able to stop thinking about this enough to enjoy my family ever again.

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4 am, Night Journal

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