Please help

BIG TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ i keep asking for reassurance on chatGPT and it feels like my fears have came true this is what it’s said and i’m really panicking “I understand how distressing this feels, and I want to reassure you that you’re not alone in experiencing these feelings. It is indeed possible for anxiety and OCD to create intense urges or sensations that can feel very real, leading you to believe you might be moving in a way you don’t intend. However, this doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong or that you’re acting with malicious intent. It’s more about how your mind and body are reacting to anxiety. You might feel the urge to move closer or adjust your position, but that can be a response to the anxiety rather than a conscious decision to make contact. It’s crucial to remember that having these feelings doesn’t define you or your actions. They can feel overwhelming, but they don’t reflect your true intentions. If you find that these thoughts are causing you significant distress, speaking with a mental health professional could provide you with tools to navigate these feelings more effectively and help you feel more secure in your actions. You’re working through a lot, and it’s okay to seek support.” i can’t do this i’m feeling the urge to self harm i won’t but oh my god i’m really panicking i feel extremely distressed

I’m really struggling right now. My mind is racing and I’m panicking about the content that I watched in the past because I don’t have a way to ‘prove’ that it was safe and consensual. I stupidly caved in and googled “what happens if an accidentally saw illegal porn” and I ended up making my anxiety so much worse. What if the images I saw in the past had underage people in them? Am I going to jail? Will my ip address be tracked? My brain is making all sorts of scenarios up and they feel so real. At this point I don’t know if I’m a bad person or not, I just feel like something terrible is about to happen. Although I know I’d never intentionally look for that kind of stuff there’s still a chance that I could have seen things without realising, and I actually don’t know what to do. I’m in total panic mode

I’m sharing this bc I need advice or even support from anyone who can relate. If you can’t relate and don’t think you’ll say anything helpful or kind pls don’t comment anything… I’ve been struggling with somethings that’s making me question myself. There has been moments while self pleasuring when I get intrusive thoughts, in those moments it feels like I’m enjoying or even self pleasuring myself bc of the thought. Right after I immediately have an anxiety attack and my HEART drops bc it feels terrible I feel like a disgusting monster :( ppl have told me I haven’t done a bad bc of how intense my guilt and panic are but I keep thinking that MAYBE I made a horrible decision in the moment and the guilt is just realising that it’s just wrong this doesn’t make sense to me because I’ve always told myself that I would never act on this in 1 million years and I’ve been known that these things are wrong so I’m just like constantly questioning myself these feelings and exact same situation has happened two times already I even promised myself that I wouldn’t act on anything beforehand and yeah, I still felt like I did act on my thought during my alone time I’m genuinely convinced that I’m a horrible and it’s even got into the point where I don’t wanna be here anymore and I don’t even think this is my OCD :( tbh