OCD self esteem

Need some advice please. I'm trying to fix my social anxiety, self esteem and confidence but ocd infests itself and makes me I had all these issues because I my ocd was true all along. For example, Im extremely uptight/awkward around people and have a fear of being judged, laughed at or seen through, fear of not being liked etc. One cause of this I read is it's because i suppressed my real self/feelings and pretended to put on a fake mask to be liked by others/fit in and now that im older that mask is breaking and causing me disconnect from my real self. My hocd inserts itself and makes me feel because I was gay all along without knowing it is why it happened. It genuinely feels like that's the case but then I feel dreaded and depressed because it feels so real I'm ready to accept that scenario. But back then I didnt think I could have been gay or anything. Im not sure how to handle this difficulty. Please any advice?

Hi, I just had a recent diagnosis of OCD. It’s crazy because I never considered it or thought that I had it. There have been some thoughts I look back on that make me wonder if it was OCD the whole time. It came to full fruition recently when I made a bad decision that cascaded into me worrying, and then led me to having these intense intrusive thoughts that I never thought I had. Can OCD magically manifest this intensely for some? I notice a lot of the stories here that people experience all the intrusive thoughts when they were younger. I keep looking back on previous times, making me think I had those same thoughts then. I can’t remember if they were genuine thoughts like I believed them, or if I knew they were bad thoughts and I just got over them. I feel like I am lying to myself every time I have the thoughts and that I’m a bad person because of it. I’m trying to not accept it. I have a few sessions in with my therapist introducing ERP but I wish I could get through this quicker. I feel disgusted with these thoughts and that I might be a bad person. Please help me understand and how to best handle this. Anyone have advice on how to be patient with yourself through this process?

Hi everyone I could really use some help on this topic. It’s hard to admit and talk about but after being on here I see that I’m not the only one! Still I would love some support and advice with how to deal with those unwanted sexual thoughts. For me it’s so uncomfortable and honestly gross when sexual thoughts get out of hand with normal people and also do extremely out of hand that even loved ones get involved. Like when I watch tv and all of a sudden I have these gross thoughts that I know if I accept they will go away but how can you accept something so gross? Would love some help!