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So I get sexual images of this guy doing sexual things to me and the way he looks turns me on and my mind keeps on telling me that I want to have sex with him instead of my boyfriend. Whenever I try to think of my boyfriend in a sexual way, my mind has me think about the guy instead, and whenever I kiss or do anything sexual with my boyfriend, then I get aroused because I imagine it to be the guy instead of my boyfriend that I’m doing sexual things with. I’m just so confused and curious at the same time. I have a very high sex drive and I’m always aroused by thinking of this one guy. Could this mean that I don’t want my boyfriend and that I want him instead? If so, I don’t want that to be true. I don’t want to think of this guy sexually, but it just happens and it feels natural to me. Like I feel like I crave sex with this guy instead of my boyfriend.

Basically I got a lots of vivid dreams last night and I woke up but went sleep again and was sort of trying to sleep but felt like I was awake not asleep but a vivid scene of a man say you did something with an underage person and I started remember but how can I do this in my sleep . I think I did it but not sure when .

I have been struggling today, most likely due to lack of sleep. I had a thought that I would consider intrusive, but what really unsettled me was that I felt like I liked it, **not just in the sense that I lacked anxiety over it, but that I genuinely felt like I wanted it.** It left me feeling really confused. It happened during intimacy, which makes it even more unsettling. The thought was incestuous, I found myself imagining and comparing the moment with my boyfriend to my father :/, and what really alarms me is that I felt like I wanted it there, both mentally and physically. I was having a really nice time, so maybe the physical sensations got mixed in somehow, but it still worries me. I did my best not to ruminate in the moment and avoided checking. I tried to move on, but the feeling of genuinely liking the thought was so clear that it is hard to shake off. Has anyone else experienced something similar? This is one of the first times it has ever happened to this extent.