Need advise 😢

I struggle with real event/false memory ocd, I take Zoloft which isn’t helping also I did years of therapy and recently stopped due to insurance issues. I constantly obsess over my mistakes as a teenager especially one specific mistake where when I was dating my now husband I ended up hanging out with another guy having drinks but nothing happened really, I’ve already confessed this to him through out the past 11 years of being married over and over to the point where he is so exhausted of hearing it and it just opens old wounds and creates problems , he has told me to stop bringing it up and leave it in the past. But anytime I remember another tiny memory of that night I have an urge to confess or I feel so much guilt and shame like I’m keeping a huge secret, this detail is small but it still makes me feel horrible 😢 it’s been weeks and I’ve not confessed but when will this feeling go away? It’s day and night all I think about. I’m also 8 months pregnant and have two other kiddos and it’s so hard to continue to be a mom and wife and feel so much guilt and shame 😥

Real Events OCD

Username: V17V17

Date posted: 30w ago

I can completely understand this. I feel like if I don’t give every single little detail that I’m lying or I’m a bad person. I think it could help if instead of talking to him about this, confide in a close friend or family member and explain your thoughts and walk them through the night. And if this isn’t an option, I would write in a journal

Username: Cjmarie23Cjmarie23

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 30w ago

I really empathize with this. I used to spend hours reliving a memory when I was pregnant just to make the uncomfortable feelings go away. Only to gain momentary relief. Postpartum has been harder due to lack of sleep and the responsibility of caring For an infant. I end up ruminating over small tiny details for weeks. Just here to say, you are not alone and I empathize. However, learning more about what OCD is has helped me. I hope you find relief too.

Username: JustmesadlyJustmesadly

Date posted: 30w ago

I messed up a lot as a little kid. And I confessed in my first serious relationship. Unfortunately I would do the same thing, after I confessed I would want to go back and add too it. Or try and clarify. Really the best thing to do is to not confess like the others have said. OCD will never be satisfied

Username: User17annon User17annon

Date posted: 30w ago

@Justmesadly Thank you for the reply, and you are so right I tend to clarify over and over and after confessing it’s only a matter of time something else pops up 💔I haven’t confessed this small detail it’s been weeks, I’m just having a hard time continue to live with it.. how much longer will I think of it and feel guilt untill it goes away?

Username: JustmesadlyJustmesadly

Date posted: 30w ago

@Anonymous I am struggling with the same thing so I can’t answer that for you! But we got this

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

new obsessions

every time my OCD finds something new to obsess about I feel like it’s the worst one yet. I used to think feeling like i don’t love my partner is the worst but turns out feeling like i cheated on him is so much worse. especially because it’s not cheating OCD but real event OCD. I somewhat entertained things with a friend a couple years ago (assumed he was probably into me and didn’t stop it/ liked the attention??) and even drunkenly fell asleep on his leg once. and i have talked about it with my bf but not the detail about sleeping on his leg (i’ve told him other arguably worse things (no kissing or anything like that)) and we’ve gotten past it. this was someone who i definitely never had feelings for and never wanted anything more out of than attention. but now i feel overcome by guilt and anxiety and i replay the scenarios over and over in my head. i feel the constant need to confess every last detail i remember but i read that confessing can be a compulsion? ugh anyone else dealing with real event OCD have any advice? I can’t see my amazing NOCD therapist anymore due to insurance issues :/

Relationship OCD

Username: Coffeelover11

Date posted: 1y ago

Anyone else experience this?

Does anyone struggle with real event ocd and having to confess to their partner? I have so many regrets on things I’ve either done or thought and feel like I can’t move on or be better until I’ve been forgiven for them. Mostly things that happened a couple years ago and I don’t know why it’s all of a sudden bothering me now but it makes me feel like I’m the worst person ever. I’m even questioning how I thought or felt during that time and I’m confessing to thoughts or things I may or may not have done or thought. It’s so confusing and I feel trapped in my own head. If anyone has any tips I would appreciate it. Thank you for you time

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 39w ago

Real event ocd

I’m sorry to ask, but I need support from someone with this particular subtype or who has dealt with real even around past mistakes. I’ve done a lot of things wrong and advice from my therapist is to not confess. Confessing is my compulsion, but some are really big mistakes from my younger years. How do you handle the feelings of guilt and shame without confessing? Have you ever confessed and were met with harsh judgement? I’m scared I’ll lose my will or desire to live just sitting with this guilt.

Real Events OCD

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Need advise 😢

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