Experiencing sexual intrusive thoughts and feeling guilty about them.

Hey , I feel like I’m alone with getting intrusive and unwanted thoughts during sex / mast3rbation and when I’m finishing and it makes me feel disgusted and that I’m a disgusting person and that I agree with the thoughts I get and I get really upset after and guilty and regret doing it Please can someone tell me if they experience things like this and if it’s not just me It’s something I’ve been really struggling with but I try not to let it get in the way of me having a sex life

From what I’ve seen from quite a few people on here and Reddit, dealing with intrusive thoughts during “private” time seems to be something i and many others sadly deal with. I’ve “sort of” gotten used to it but I wish I can enjoy myself sexually the way I used to before these thoughts took over my mind. It’s literally what started the POCD obsession for me in the first place, and why it’s so hard to believe it’s OCD when these thoughts are so prevalent when I’m engaging in something sexual. I always feel reluctant to actually do the deed sometimes cause of how present the thoughts are before I do it but I force myself to cause avoiding it isn’t gonna help. And honestly, I just want to get it over with before my sex drive and these thoughts clash and make it infinitely worse. I try my best to focus on what I know I want (gay porn) but it’s like windshield wipers during a storm. I see clearly for like 5 seconds then boom there’s something that shouldn’t be there and I have to stop. Over and over again. It’s even worse when I finish and it finds its way back on mind when it should be the last thing on it at such a moment. I can’t believe the one thing I used as a stress reliever is now something that cause me nothing but stress.

Does anyone else have intrusive thoughts during sex that make you lose your ability for focus/make the experience less enjoyable? I have POCD so having intrusive thoughts of this nature during sex not only make sex with my boyfriend way less enjoyable, but also make me feel perverted for having them while simultaneously aroused. It feels like they’re causing my arousal even tho I know rationally that they aren’t. Any advice? Feel kind of alone in this.